Experienced lots of ghosting, now having a meltdown every time I wait for a text...am I being ghosted?

This isn’t normal and it scares me. It’s miserable.

I [23F] matched with and started talking to this guy [23M] 10 days ago. When I say we talked absolutely nonstop for the entire week until we met, I’m not exaggerating. it was almost exhausting. I liked talking to him obviously but it was a lot. It was fun though. he never took more than like 15 minutes to reply essentially EVER, throughout work and school and all that. Texting all day long. Average of four minutes to reply basically. Most days we talked on the phone for actual hours. Always texted good morning and goodnight, literally. In a cutesy, tongue in cheek way, but we did.

We met this past weekend and it was amazing. We just clicked...I hadn’t met anyone for a long time because being so disappointed was so emotionally draining. So this was very welcome and surprising. I figured that since he was so responsive and straightforward I might not get burned for once. You know, he’s not flaky, replies, is ‘secure’ instead of avoidant and all that. But seriously the weekend was fucking amazing. He was so easy to talk to and talked about his life and my life at length and asked me about myself a lot and shared SO much about himself...it was incredible. When we had sex we stared into each other’s eyes for so long. When we went to sleep he enveloped me in his arms like we’d known each other forever, like it was the most natural thing in the world. I felt like someone he liked and not just a sex toy.

So he left and very quickly he made it clear he wanted to see me again, unprompted. He care from a town an hour or so away so it’d take a bit of planning. He told me he’d text me and he did 30 mins after he left. Truly shocking. So we talked like we had before meeting back and forth and it was really nice and natural. Later on, though, he started taking longer to reply. The conversation became a little stilted and seemed forced. It was kind of different. But before I went to sleep he reiterated that he wanted to see me again, once again unprompted. Said goodnight and all.

This morning he texted me unprompted. No good morning though. Conversation suddenly felt like awkward small talk. He’s suddenly using lol and haha CONSTANTLY. It’s kinda weird. Conversation stops after my one-word answer—before we met he’d still reply after short messages and keep it going no matter what. I text him about something else a few hours later and he takes almost an hour to reply. He still seems kind of enthusiastic tho? From then on he takes abnormally long to reply. Conversation ended again.

A couple hours later he texted me again to update me about something that happened right before he met me. Once again takes a long time to reply. Seems slightly less receptive to flirting. An hour between replies. Culminated in me texting something about our next meeting and it’s been over three hours without a reply. No acknowledgement, no goodnight, nothing. I’m heartbroken tbh.

I know it sounds ridiculous but he’s never just ignored me before or not said goodnight. It’s never taken anywhere near this long to get a reply back. I feel weird and dejected now. I know no one is going to text in exactly the same way every day but this is odd. I’m really sad and feel awful for letting someone in again. I know it’s not necessarily over yet but I can already feel him discarding me, losing interest. He really truly seemed ‘different’. I woke up almost two hours ago to no text and LITERALLY can’t go to sleep because of how distraught I am. Help me.

Anyways...my heart hurts. I don’t get how people can switch so easily. He didn’t ask about talking on the phone today either. HOW is it possible that someone is more gung ho about talking to someone from tinder they haven’t even met than they are to talk to that person AFTER they actually meet them?

Do you think he’s ditching me already? I’m having a meltdown right now basically. It’s like I have PTSD from being ghosted. But also he’s being weird, so...right?

Submitted April 30, 2019 at 03:54AM

This isn’t normal and it scares me. It’s miserable.I [23F] matched with and started talking to this guy [23M] 10 days ago. When I say we talked absolutely nonstop for the entire week until we met, I’m not exaggerating. it was almost exhausting. I liked talking to him obviously but it was a lot. It was fun though. he never took more than like 15 minutes to reply essentially EVER, throughout work and school and all that. Texting all day long. Average of four minutes to reply basically. Most days we talked on the phone for actual hours. Always texted good morning and goodnight, literally. In a cutesy, tongue in cheek way, but we did.We met this past weekend and it was amazing. We just clicked...I hadn’t met anyone for a long time because being so disappointed was so emotionally draining. So this was very welcome and surprising. I figured that since he was so responsive and straightforward I might not get burned for once. You know, he’s not flaky, replies, is ‘secure’ instead of avoidant and all that. But seriously the weekend was fucking amazing. He was so easy to talk to and talked about his life and my life at length and asked me about myself a lot and shared SO much about himself...it was incredible. When we had sex we stared into each other’s eyes for so long. When we went to sleep he enveloped me in his arms like we’d known each other forever, like it was the most natural thing in the world. I felt like someone he liked and not just a sex toy.So he left and very quickly he made it clear he wanted to see me again, unprompted. He care from a town an hour or so away so it’d take a bit of planning. He told me he’d text me and he did 30 mins after he left. Truly shocking. So we talked like we had before meeting back and forth and it was really nice and natural. Later on, though, he started taking longer to reply. The conversation became a little stilted and seemed forced. It was kind of different. But before I went to sleep he reiterated that he wanted to see me again, once again unprompted. Said goodnight and all.This morning he texted me unprompted. No good morning though. Conversation suddenly felt like awkward small talk. He’s suddenly using lol and haha CONSTANTLY. It’s kinda weird. Conversation stops after my one-word answer—before we met he’d still reply after short messages and keep it going no matter what. I text him about something else a few hours later and he takes almost an hour to reply. He still seems kind of enthusiastic tho? From then on he takes abnormally long to reply. Conversation ended again.A couple hours later he texted me again to update me about something that happened right before he met me. Once again takes a long time to reply. Seems slightly less receptive to flirting. An hour between replies. Culminated in me texting something about our next meeting and it’s been over three hours without a reply. No acknowledgement, no goodnight, nothing. I’m heartbroken tbh.I know it sounds ridiculous but he’s never just ignored me before or not said goodnight. It’s never taken anywhere near this long to get a reply back. I feel weird and dejected now. I know no one is going to text in exactly the same way every day but this is odd. I’m really sad and feel awful for letting someone in again. I know it’s not necessarily over yet but I can already feel him discarding me, losing interest. He really truly seemed ‘different’. I woke up almost two hours ago to no text and LITERALLY can’t go to sleep because of how distraught I am. Help me.Anyways...my heart hurts. I don’t get how people can switch so easily. He didn’t ask about talking on the phone today either. HOW is it possible that someone is more gung ho about talking to someone from tinder they haven’t even met than they are to talk to that person AFTER they actually meet them?Do you think he’s ditching me already? I’m having a meltdown right now basically. It’s like I have PTSD from being ghosted. But also he’s being weird, so...right?