When I started to look into my sexuality I was often advised to look at p rn and see what I liked but I never understood how that would help because I have never felt anything towards either gender in that way and when I realised that I keep getting told to see who I liked by checking out p rn I started to question if maybe I’m asexual and after all this research I’m almost certain I’m asexual August 01, 2020 at 12:04AM

I felt the same way that I was broken or wrong in some way for just not caring about relationships and always excused myself from them by saying “I want to finish school and establish a career before trying to build a family”. It wasn’t until my second year of college I heard the term ‘asexual’ which finally made me feel like there wasn’t anything wrong with me. We’re all valid in the way that we feel. It is true that 16 is young but not so young that you can’t know yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you different. July 31, 2020 at 11:51PM

Few years ago, I lost my bestfriend and now I feel so alone and scared that I won't find another relationship where I can truly talk and being happy. Hobbies can help passing the hard times but the feeling is still there. I'm still hoping for a better futur even if it's hard, and I hope all of you will find the happy relationship that you're looking for. July 31, 2020 at 11:50PM

Hello! Welcome to the community, would you like to try some cake or our delicious garlic bread? July 31, 2020 at 11:48PM

Another person who shows off how great looking they are, another way we can prove that the statement "Asexuals are just ugly" is stupid. July 31, 2020 at 11:45PM

Represent brother July 31, 2020 at 11:45PM

Oh well thanks for the input. Glad to know I’m not the only confused one. July 31, 2020 at 11:44PM

Hey! Do you like cake, pizza, or garlic bread? July 31, 2020 at 11:44PM

Is yours a hematite one? July 31, 2020 at 11:37PM

I'm not really sure how I feel about sex to be honest, I'm happy that other people enjoy it and it can make for some very powerful romance scenes in movies. Just please don't give me too much detail and I definitely don't want to think about myself in that situation. July 31, 2020 at 11:35PM

Bought them from GrumpyAlison on Etsy if anyone is interested: 3D Printed Ace Ring July 31, 2020 at 11:35PM

Lol tell that to my libido, oh wait- July 31, 2020 at 11:34PM

Ace males unite! July 31, 2020 at 11:34PM

HEY SAME! I FEEL REPRESENTED! July 31, 2020 at 11:33PM

i want one but i’m not out to my family and they’d wonder what it’s for. July 31, 2020 at 11:32PM

you have good tastes lol July 31, 2020 at 11:26PM

I want to copy this! I like your bedding, where is it from? July 31, 2020 at 11:24PM

Hotel Chocolat is the best chocolate ever made, so look on the bright side. On the not so bright side I’m hungry now. July 31, 2020 at 11:19PM

Hehe we're matching! Looks exactly like mine ~ July 31, 2020 at 11:14PM

I was younger than 16 when I came to terms with my asexuality, and I still am. My friends also knes what they were. If other people can know their asexuality (and I'm assuming your friend knows there's), then they should accept that you can know yours July 31, 2020 at 11:13PM

https://ift.tt/3gdjltv Submitted July 31, 2020 at 11:22PM https://ift.tt/3gdjltv

https://ift.tt/33dvHhF Submitted July 31, 2020 at 11:38PM https://ift.tt/33dvHhF

I've (31m) just started to date this wonderful woman (31f) who gives a LOT compared to anyone I've dated before. I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up, and that she'll become unsatisfied and leave. It might be normal for people out there, but she would prepare small thoughtful gifts/treats for half of our dates. In gifting, I usually keep to the practical stuff and hardly ever buy small things like snacks or things I don't think they will want to use in the long run. I would like to reciprocate but I'm not quite sure where to start. Any tips on this? Edit: other than physical gifts, she also offers to do favors like giving me a lift etc. I think I'm ok on that front but I'm more worried about the gifting. Submitted July 31, 2020 at 11:47PM I've (31m) just started to date this wonderful woman (31f) who gives a LOT compared to anyone I've dated before. I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up, and that she'll become unsatisfie...

I agree most of the time but sometime I see some so pretty it makes me question being ace again July 31, 2020 at 12:01AM

But I like aesthetic attraction. People are so pretty 🥺 July 30, 2020 at 11:58PM

getting drunk 🤢 July 30, 2020 at 11:56PM

Well... think of it this way... wanting sexual pleasure and having sexual attraction are two different things. July 30, 2020 at 11:55PM

I am panda. July 30, 2020 at 11:53PM

Ayeee leo buddies!! I'm in nz so my birthday was yesterday (30th) I wonder if we're birthday buddies too!! I'm 19 now ~^ July 30, 2020 at 11:52PM

Tesla allegedly proclaimed his love for a white pigeon at one point. He also exchanged flirtatious letters with a friend's wife. So who knows. Speculation is pointless. July 30, 2020 at 11:52PM

22 in like a week! July 30, 2020 at 11:51PM

Parvati in Outer Worlds July 30, 2020 at 11:50PM

Any gender with flannel and Converse with or without winged eyeliner and smokey eye shadow Also just smoky eye shadow in general. July 30, 2020 at 11:50PM

I have a very dirty mind even though I'm ace so reading through these comments just hurts my soul- July 30, 2020 at 11:50PM

Happy birthday! I turned 17 last week July 30, 2020 at 11:49PM

Mines pretty much 90% based on personality, I like nerdy peeps who kinda seem more serious and put together but have a goofy side. But I've noticed I prefer brunettes. July 30, 2020 at 11:48PM

I'm not asexual but I've always had crushes on fictional characters. Far more frequently than actual people. They exist as pure fantasy and there's no risk or vulnerability involved. July 30, 2020 at 11:47PM

Ooo, pretty July 30, 2020 at 11:46PM

Stunning!! July 30, 2020 at 11:45PM

Oh my god, it’s beautiful July 30, 2020 at 11:43PM

I tend to be more romantically attracted to men (I’m a guy), but but there are some women. So like, 70/30 biromantic? July 30, 2020 at 11:43PM

My wife and I have been together since college and it seems every 5 or so years there is lots of tension around big life changes regarding career, moving, etc. it doesn’t seem to get any better the longer we are together and I am wondering what tips other couples have found to help during these periods of big transition? It seems it should get easier with time, but to have kids and family I presume it just gets more difficult? We do our parts to communicate but still get frustrated with each other during the months/year the transition tends to occur. Submitted July 30, 2020 at 11:42PM My wife and I have been together since college and it seems every 5 or so years there is lots of tension around big life changes regarding career, moving, etc. it doesn’t seem to get any better the longer we are together and I am wondering what tips other couples have found to help during these periods of big transition? It seems it should get easier with time, but to have kids and family I presume...

https://ift.tt/2P9Z2Bl Submitted July 30, 2020 at 11:48PM https://ift.tt/2P9Z2Bl

https://ift.tt/39GaQEI Submitted July 30, 2020 at 11:20PM https://ift.tt/39GaQEI

https://ift.tt/2PehSag Submitted July 30, 2020 at 11:21PM https://ift.tt/2PehSag

https://ift.tt/312tPFH Submitted July 30, 2020 at 11:36PM https://ift.tt/312tPFH

So, I'm not sure how to express this but I'm going to try. If you are content and healthy being "broken", it doesn't matter what "normal" is. If you are traumatized, you should absolutely get help to deal with it, but if you are emotionally and mentally happy, then just be you. There is nothing wrong with not wanting sex with other people. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to con you, for their benefit (either explicitly or subconsciously). Don't fall for that lie. I personally feel a need to be intimate and have sex with my husband, for reasons well stated by others in this thread. But it baffles me that we as human beings have such a lack of live and let live. If you're not hurting anyone, please know that you are just fine the way you are. I wish you all the best. July 30, 2020 at 12:04AM

hey, no problem! At least I’m not alone with this, and at least you’re not alone with this! July 30, 2020 at 12:03AM

I agree with you! Desiring sex is completely fine for obvious reasons. I wish I could edit the title to clarify that I posted this in means to highlight where the op mentioned faithlessness, and as a comment suggested, even rape. It's an odd thing to say to justify bad actions over your "needs" because sex shouldn't be a big enough need to hurt somebody. But there's obviously, absolutely no shame in loving sex or just being indifferent or being disgusted altogether. Not to mention it's not like they need my opinion for validation since I'm literally ace, it's just my opinion on the asshole-y way the phrase is used July 30, 2020 at 12:01AM

yeah that's 100 percent valid, people who prefer to have sex because it strengthens their relationship is obviously fine, I posted this more for that rapey vibe of "i have needs". That's such a gross thing to say, and if it's a healthy relationship, it should be something like "I have desires" You have strong desires for sex, you're very lustful, but nobody desperately needs sex the way they need air or water. They need it to be happy which I guess when it comes to us we need garlic bread to be happy July 29, 2020 at 11:58PM

waIT I FORGOT THE FLAIR ​ ​ edit: okay I added the flair July 29, 2020 at 11:51PM

This needs to stop getting posted everywhere. Supporting violence against any group is horrible. They do horrible things, don’t get me wrong. I hope justice is properly served and they are removed from any capacity where they can harm someone else. But wishing violence upon anyone isn’t the way to go. Pedophiles are mentally ill and need to seek therapy before they commit any crimes, and posts like this don't make it any easier for someone to admit they need help. July 29, 2020 at 11:49PM

Not talking to anyone is counted as a method of torture and is used as punishment in prisons and during wars or in places like Guantanamo bay, etc. It can cause permanent psychological damage. July 29, 2020 at 11:49PM

Can someone tell me what’s going on? I keep seeing this all over reddit July 29, 2020 at 11:48PM

not to mention that's not at all what the post is even about. It's about people calling sex a need. I understand the comments that it's a need for someone to be happy and I respect that but it's not a need in a way people should justify rape or cheating. Sex is not that strong of a need and if you think its strong enough to be unfaithful or hurt a person then you're actually disgusting July 29, 2020 at 11:48PM

Allos domt understand what its like not to want sex just like how in most cases we cant fathom wanting it. Asexual is a starting point, you coukd try expanding on it. What its like to be asexual for you. In the long run its not really their business any way, wether or not you are intimate with your partner or if you want a partner at all. July 29, 2020 at 11:47PM

I genuinely want to be a lawyer July 29, 2020 at 11:46PM

Why the heck are you on an asexual subreddit then lol and also, I didn't even make that post, but I related to it because of what they said about cheating and what a comment said about how people justifying rape. July 29, 2020 at 11:46PM

good catch :) very true July 29, 2020 at 11:45PM

you're an asexual, you don't get to have an opinion. if that upsets you try it like this, listen: 'it's fine to be gay, god loves you. just don't act on your urges. i don't want to have sex with men, why can't you stop doing it?' keep your mouth shut when you comes to matters you can't possibly understand July 29, 2020 at 11:43PM

*any gender July 29, 2020 at 11:42PM

Youve already told them that your asexual, so that part is done. Allo people really cant understand not wanting sex, its in the media, 'its part of life' they cant fathom it. Just like how some aces cant fathom how allos want it. But, Its not really their choice or buisness if you are sexual with your partner. The 'that's not what it means' could be the whole 'asexual reproduction' thing they learnt in primary school and its stuck with them, asexual means non-sexual, queer folx use that word as a starting point, you coukd try adding on to it, describe what it feels like for you to be asexual. For me, I grew up having it shoved down my throat but when I finally came across the option I wasn't interested and thats when i went down my path to figuring out my asexual identity. I cant fathom being in a sexual relationship with anyone and if i end up seeking a partner a must is for them to accept that, by either feeling similar, as in aspec or doesnt believ...

I totally get that fear of people not believing you because of your past, and kinda feeling like a walking contradiction; it's a really tough thing to go through. I was in the same boat for the longest time. Getting involved in online ace communities really helped me, because odds are you'll find someone who truly understands. That goes a long way in helping to comfort you until you feel ready to come out to someone in your existing circle. And once you are ready to tell someone you're close to, you can tell them the same thing you posted here: how you truly felt when you were in a relationship. A good friend would listen, and realize there is no contradiction after all. Best of luck to you. :) July 29, 2020 at 11:38PM

Not gonna die from not having sex and not gonna die from not talking to somebody. Not saying you're saying this. I'm just pointing out that it is absolutely not a need. Even if someone is sad and lonely or miserable without sex, they aren't gonna die without it. They'll just be unhappy. July 29, 2020 at 11:37PM

well for some people it's not even fight or flight, for some people you just stand there with a shield instead of fighting or flying, because some aces are indifferent toward sex but do it for external reasons such as pleasure or satisfying someone else July 29, 2020 at 11:31PM

I used to lump romantic attraction together with sexual attraction. Sometimes I find androgynous looking people aesthetically pleasing but i dont think about having sex with that person. But I do think what it would be like to hold hands and laugh with the person. So I'm not too sure actually, I thought I was grey, but I could possibly be a plain ace July 29, 2020 at 11:31PM

I wish I could help but you are Pretty much in the same boat as me July 29, 2020 at 11:30PM

I (F40) have been married to my husband (M48) for 15 years. Together for 17 years. We met when I was 22 and he was 30. I was a college drop out, failed model, who had just completed a stint in rehab. I was chaotic and rudderless but charming and pretty and “a good listener”. I grew up in an evangelical home and but I left the church at 18 successfully sowed my wild oats. On the other hand, my husband had a law degree from a top 10 law school and was stable and responsible and a self described “moral conservative”. He had several long term relationships and he certainly was not a virgin, but planted less wild oats than I did, I guess. My family loved him, and said not to mess it up because usually I had a broken picker. I knew from early on that he and I weren’t a great chemistry match but he felt safe. I was comfortable with him and I loved his intellectualism and maturity. He is rigid and logical, my polar opposite, as I am all emotion and impulse. After a few months of dating, he s...

I'm not sure where to start... I'm so overwhelmed by a lot of things lately, but today was kind of a tipping point. I'm sorry this ended up so long, but I'm really at a loss of what to do. My husband messaged me from work telling me he had to get a covid test because we recently returned from a trip where we flew in commercial planes. (But apparently it's just for paperwork because they're allowing him to keep going to work the whole time, and by the time he gets the results it will have been almost two weeks anyway.) So he asks me to call the local pharmacy and set up an appointment for him. I called, and was told to go online. So I figured since he has time to message me back and forth about it, he could do that. But he asked me to do that too. Then there were no times, so he wanted me to call the urgent care to see if they had tests left. He ended up having to go to one 30 minutes away, and he had my dad drive him after work. I'm pissed for several rea...

OK, so im laughing at all the 'asexuals with claim anything with 2 or more of their colors' memes, but we seriously will lol July 28, 2020 at 11:50PM

You should probs quit while you're ahead because you're only proving my point haha. By saying my last comment was "alloarophobic" you proved my entire point because I was using a hypothetical analogy to explain why your previous comments were wrong and exclusionary. My entire point was that you ARE welcome by our standards you absolute spoon. Don't embarrass yourself further pls 🥴 Edit: to reply to your edit. My logic is literally the opposite. You're the one saying het aces and het aros are fully het and thus unwelcome in the LGBT+ community. I'm saying that both sexual and romantic attractions are significant individually and therefore being A MINORITY IN ONE OF THEM IS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU LGBT how many times do I have to repeat myself. July 28, 2020 at 11:42PM

I know this was sarcastic, but it also perfectly describes my actual experience with chocolate. July 28, 2020 at 11:41PM

Sadly a lot of people don’t want to recognize asexuals, as they honestly don’t feel they are valid. Also, personally I would consider asexuals as part of the greater LGBTQ community. July 28, 2020 at 11:40PM

Its very dumb logic so yes July 28, 2020 at 11:39PM

So by their logic if a bisexual man dates a woman, that man is now straight? July 28, 2020 at 11:39PM

Link to the book. July 28, 2020 at 11:38PM

U just had to go and do it. July 28, 2020 at 11:37PM

I just assume asexuals look like garlic bread. Or cake. July 28, 2020 at 11:37PM

It's because you're very confusing with this logic. Het aces and het aros are then fully straight. Mean those who are cis are then cishet. Some allosexuals with ace partners are here anyway to learn about Asexuality so I don't think it matters whether or not you think I'm in the 'ace community' (which is an alloarophobic term). July 28, 2020 at 11:36PM

aroace, trans, and childfree. it's literally only here to torment me July 28, 2020 at 11:34PM

Honestly what scares me so much is coming out as ace and then the first thing people go to is "oh ok but you're not LGBT". Like fine, I'm not LGBT, but why is that the first thing to say instead of trying to validate my identity?¿?¿? July 28, 2020 at 11:32PM

Good on you tbh. Im now ingaged in conversation and in the wise words of ben the cow, "i wont back down" July 28, 2020 at 11:31PM

Honestly yeah it's so tiring seeing endless aphobia posts. Like surely this is the community we can go to when we're tired of seeing aphobia from everywhere else. Like this should be our safe zone haha. July 28, 2020 at 11:31PM

At least it's pronounceable July 28, 2020 at 11:30PM

Yeah, I blocked them. It’s a troll account July 28, 2020 at 11:29PM

You're completely missing the point here. You're fully bisexual, fully aromantic. They're separate things and being a minority in either one (IE. not being heteroromantic AND heterosexual) then you're included in LGBT+. Idk why I've had to repeat this three times now in varying ways. By your logic you shouldn't be in this sub because you're not asexual, but by OUR logic you're part of the community bc you're aromantic. July 28, 2020 at 11:28PM

They’re just upset because they know that despite being ace we have a higher chance of getting laid July 28, 2020 at 11:28PM

Q: for those in happy marriages, did you ever ask for space or time to think while in a relationship with your now spouse? Background: I (33F) am in a year long relationship with him (33M) We had our first fight where we were going around in circles last week. We must’ve spoken for about 2 hours before he said he needs space. I can’t even fully summarize what the fight was about. Part of it was him thinking that I ThINK he’s not a good guy because he’s cheated in a past relationship however I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater and he gave me so many details I actually don’t think it’s a red flag. However I think a lot of my past insecurities came through and I said something stupid like “I’m scared you’re going to leave me if I gain weight or if I ever fall sick”. I now realize this is coming from my abandonment issues Anyways I’m giving him his space. He has messaged me one msg per day since just to say “hi and that he hopes I’m having a go...

https://ift.tt/30aplOd Submitted July 28, 2020 at 11:46PM https://ift.tt/30aplOd

So I had a pretty turbulant 2 month romp with a girl I started dating in January. We stopped meeting up to have sex at the end of March and got into petty little fights. I saw her for the first time yesterday in 4 months. I like her as a person, I don't hate her. BUT! She did disrespect me many times in those short 2 months. So there is a tiny streak in me that HATES what makes her tick and just some of her behavior. So anyway, we have sex and I climax in like a minute and it was just more powerful than ever ( I wore a condom) I normally would have slowed down but I didnt care if she enjoyed it ( I went down on her first - Im not an a-hole I swear.) I didnt even know this was a thing! How normal is it? Like the average reader - Have you had and enjoyed hate-sex? What is it about this that was so appealing? Do I tell her next time and let her in on it? Submitted July 28, 2020 at 11:34PM So I had a pretty turbulant 2 month romp with a girl I started dating in January. We s...

A couple years ago I got involved with a man who is 10+ years older than me. It was a complex relationship, but now that I'm about a month out, there are a few things my ex said to me that are haunting me that I'm curious to know what others' thoughts are on. I always had a strange gut feeling about things, but didn't listen to it. I can't say I ever really trusted him. Anyway, a couple months into the relationship I went to quickly drop something off at his house, and there was a car outside. I didn't go in or anything, I just drove away and texted him later to say sorry I missed him. He claimed he was helping a friend with their phone. I let it go. About a month later I tried to surprise him and show up at one of his club hockey games (I had been several times before and had the schedule). About 15 minutes in, a woman came walking in. As soon as he saw both of us, he left. When he came out, he breezed past me, and the other woman followed him out. He came ba...

Hey all, apologies if this has been asked and answered - I have looked and couldn't see anything. I appreciate this is a completely hypocritical questions, but, how are people that are taking COVID seriously managing dating? I came out of a relationship in Jan and have been ready to get back out there for a couple of months, however I was of the opinion that dating during COVID is craziness. In view of "during COVID" potentially being for another year or so I am now contemplating getting back out there, but I havent resolved how to do that given those dating are probably those not doing the right thing around social distancing which puts my vulnerable parents at risk. So I guess, of those of you who are legitimately taking COVID seriously (e.g., avoiding public transport, not going to shops, limiting social contact, not eating out or going to events etc), if you are actively dating, how are you going about it? Also, do you put anything in your profile about social di...

I was today years old when I found out. I mean, I knew there was some nuance there separating it from attractive, but I never understood exactly what. I know what type of things are supposed to be sexy, but I don't get why they are. July 28, 2020 at 12:02AM

Weekly? Daily? More? July 28, 2020 at 12:01AM

*Rain of Aros July 27, 2020 at 11:59PM

I just feel like crap, because almost every time I try to come out I end up developing more self doubt, and a stronger fear of doing it again. July 27, 2020 at 11:57PM

Woaahhhh there buddy that's a little TOO hot n steamy July 27, 2020 at 11:56PM

I haven't listened to them much, but I've heard good things about their music. July 27, 2020 at 11:55PM

Thank you for this. I was going to post this on the LGBT community to see if gay people might provide an input, and chickened out, so you just seriously helped me with your words. July 27, 2020 at 11:55PM

Finally able to looks at this after work, my boss would've freaked out if he caught a glimpse of the sexy stringy goodness. July 27, 2020 at 11:52PM

Someone in this sub sent it to me free last year :) July 27, 2020 at 11:51PM

i have used the teleporter technology to transport garlic bread July 27, 2020 at 11:50PM

I suggest we use our long-time allies, the Arie. Some of us have been fighting for both sides, we should combine our forces completely. Together we have control over the plants, this cannot be ignored. July 27, 2020 at 11:50PM

Yeah but have you tried the rice paper ones? Never fails to make me drool July 27, 2020 at 11:50PM

Indeed porn July 27, 2020 at 11:49PM

Oh my god is this allowed I didn’t realise this subreddit was so nsfw July 27, 2020 at 11:48PM

as an ace homoromantic i guess my form of being “sexually” attracted to someone is thinking “i want to get into bed and cuddle under a blanket and tell them stories” July 27, 2020 at 11:48PM

We need to initiate Operation: Doughball, immediately !! Overwhelm them with garlicy goodness and strike when their defences are lowest! -Colonel Lily, Axolotl Division July 27, 2020 at 11:45PM

Yeah, we had to start early since some people were catching on. The cake and garlic bread cannons are ready, though. July 27, 2020 at 11:45PM

I used to feel the same exact way because I have absolutely no experience. But what really solidified it for me was when I moved away to college. The fact that I had the freedom to gain experience. I was away from my parents and had the freedom to do whatever I wanted. There were so many new people and boys that even dmed me and stuff. But I didn’t do anything. Not because I was scared or nervous, but because I literally did not want to. I’m not interested. And that’s when it clicked. I don’t need to kiss someone or have a bf or have sex to know it’s something that I don’t want. It’s something I have never desired/craved. My friends began wanting to date and do sexual things in middle school. LITERALLY AT 13 years old people around me starting discovering their sexuality and engaging in romantic and sexual activity bc they were interested and curious. Here I am at 19, and I still have never had those feelings. If I could feel any type of sexual or romantic attraction to people, I’m p...

I’ve been thinking of getting a copy as well! July 27, 2020 at 11:42PM

Disappointed Celiac here whose last mozzarella stick was probably a decade ago. So freaking jealous right now. I had completely forgotten these exist. The garlic bread and cake continues to taunt me as well. July 27, 2020 at 11:40PM