/u/Sherry_A_H on when and how you realise, that you are asexsual?

I had been reading Fanfictions about characters coming to terms with being ace and not feeling sexual attraction for months, and I had felt a bit of euphoric joy when they figured themselves out. I was thinking something along the lines of "Wow I can relate to these characters so well and I'm so happy for them, it's always cool learning about different sexualities and cultures behind them, it makes me a better ally."

I only looked at a definition when an online buddy accidentally came out. And the descriptions fit perfectly. At 15 I was sure of my sexuality and heteroromanticism.

Funny that... on my sixteenth I experienced a loss of romantic attraction and I was a wreck for a bit because of it, thinking something was wrong with me,until I browsed the definitions of romantic attractions to understand the difference between grey and demi. Being aroflux is a thing and I've mostly stopped being romantically attracted to people. If at all, those feelings only linger for a couple of hours and I'm completely fine with it and usually say I'm AroAce because it's easier.

But hey, at least I don't have to deal with body dysphoria seeing as I'm a cis woman... Oh wait, really disliking looking feminine and wanting to have your tubes tied and chest removed because you get anxiety attacks isn't the normal female experience... That explains a lot.

I'm me. It took a bit of time understanding who I was and I don't know how many beautiful stories about ace characters flew over my head, but who cares. I feel like I've collected the "A"s, Ace, Aro, Agender + a couple others. I'm happy where I am even if I still got a long way to go to have the androgynous body that would feel right, but any step towards the future is a great one already :)

Oh and sorry for the excessively long text.

TL;dR: I thought I was hetero and cis, and I was pretty far from the truth.





July 26, 2020 at 11:46PM
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