The guy I was hoping to marry has asked me for space

Q: for those in happy marriages, did you ever ask for space or time to think while in a relationship with your now spouse?

Background: I (33F) am in a year long relationship with him (33M) We had our first fight where we were going around in circles last week. We must’ve spoken for about 2 hours before he said he needs space.

I can’t even fully summarize what the fight was about. Part of it was him thinking that I ThINK he’s not a good guy because he’s cheated in a past relationship however I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater and he gave me so many details I actually don’t think it’s a red flag. However I think a lot of my past insecurities came through and I said something stupid like “I’m scared you’re going to leave me if I gain weight or if I ever fall sick”. I now realize this is coming from my abandonment issues

Anyways I’m giving him his space. He has messaged me one msg per day since just to say “hi and that he hopes I’m having a good day. “ Last I heard from him he said he appreciates that I’m respecting his request for space and said he wants to meet up later this week to talk

Just hearing “to talk” gives me palpitations



Submitted July 29, 2020 at 12:03AM

Q: for those in happy marriages, did you ever ask for space or time to think while in a relationship with your now spouse?Background: I (33F) am in a year long relationship with him (33M) We had our first fight where we were going around in circles last week. We must’ve spoken for about 2 hours before he said he needs space.I can’t even fully summarize what the fight was about. Part of it was him thinking that I ThINK he’s not a good guy because he’s cheated in a past relationship however I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater and he gave me so many details I actually don’t think it’s a red flag. However I think a lot of my past insecurities came through and I said something stupid like “I’m scared you’re going to leave me if I gain weight or if I ever fall sick”. I now realize this is coming from my abandonment issuesAnyways I’m giving him his space. He has messaged me one msg per day since just to say “hi and that he hopes I’m having a good day. “ Last I heard from him he said he appreciates that I’m respecting his request for space and said he wants to meet up later this week to talkJust hearing “to talk” gives me palpitations
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