Am I foolish to think my husband won't cheat again?

I will give you a bit of background. My husband and I were long distance lovers. Eventually he decided to man up and relocate to be with me and I began the process of sponsoring him. While he was here in my country he was not allowed to work till the sponsorship application was completed and confirmed which requires 8 months. During this time I had gotten my first regular job to support us both financially. I was under a tremendous amount of pressure because my job paid minimum wage,I had to pay rent as well as sponsorship fees and take care of both of us completely on my own. I felt overwhelmed and brought up the idea of me prostituting so we would have money to pay for everything. At first my husband said no. I respected his wish and left it at that but than one day he randomly came up to me and said "fine. Just no black men. " I agreed but after receiving calls from nothing BUT black men I came to my husband and said sooooo I have a black client that is coming to see me he's not attractive or anything but before I could even explain the situation further he cut me off and was like "its fine I honestly don't even care" So for the next months I sold my body for hundreds of dollars. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders because I could pay for everything and anything. He seemed perfectly fine with it except for one time when he cried that I was going to see a client on his birthday so I immiediately cancelled on that client for him. we thought we would be able to be together till the application finalized but Unfortunately the application did not process fast enough and my husband had to return back to his home country. He could have immiediately returned but instead he decided to stay home to make more money at his job because he felt dependant on me and didn't like that but he encouraged me to keep prostituting for our future expenses. For the next 3 months he would fly back and forth to see me. I kept telling him to come home but he used the excuse of wanting to make his own money yet when he came here for our anniversary he had no gift yet I managed to gift him a brand new ring. So On the 3rd month he called me crying saying he wanted to come back home to me after he had a heated argument with a coworker at his job and quit. He returned and things were great. The application finalized and we could still be together 247. I no longer had to prostitute and he found work here. till one day I went in his phone and discovered that while we were dating long distance before marriage he went on a secret trip to visit two women as well as was buying used panties and cum filled cookies from a sex worker. To top it off he contacted this sex worker once again while we were married at that time when he went back to his home country to allegedly make money for us. Yet came back here empty handed for our anniversary!?! Needless to say I was furious. My husband proclaims he contacted the sex worker because he felt I emasculated/humiliated him when I prostituted myself in the other room. And resented me for it. I told him I only did it because he said he was okay with it as long as I charged them. He said he only said he was ok with it but secretly wasn't. He proclaims he would never cheat on me if that prostitution thing never happened. When I bring up the fact that he contacted that sex worker even when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend he claims he didn't do anything physically with her just ate cum filled cookies and sniffed panties she mailed to him so he didn't consider it really cheating. And those two girls he went to hang out with in another country were just female friends. Which personally I don't believe them being. So am I crazy for thinking may be he won't ever cheat now that I'm not prostituting and he really only did cheat just because I was sleeping with men for money? He said he's willing to do marriage counseling because he realizes he was wrong for doing wat he did because he knows I only prostituted to support us financially. yet in arguments he blames me for prostituting. He claims he loves me and wants to be with me and even split his 401k with me to show his devotion. But I don't care about any of that money if he will break my heart again. We finally have a chance to live together prostitution/long distance free.but I fear I may be setting myself up for failure. Do you think he will cheat again?

Submitted July 27, 2020 at 11:44PM

I will give you a bit of background. My husband and I were long distance lovers. Eventually he decided to man up and relocate to be with me and I began the process of sponsoring him. While he was here in my country he was not allowed to work till the sponsorship application was completed and confirmed which requires 8 months. During this time I had gotten my first regular job to support us both financially. I was under a tremendous amount of pressure because my job paid minimum wage,I had to pay rent as well as sponsorship fees and take care of both of us completely on my own. I felt overwhelmed and brought up the idea of me prostituting so we would have money to pay for everything. At first my husband said no. I respected his wish and left it at that but than one day he randomly came up to me and said "fine. Just no black men. " I agreed but after receiving calls from nothing BUT black men I came to my husband and said sooooo I have a black client that is coming to see me he's not attractive or anything but before I could even explain the situation further he cut me off and was like "its fine I honestly don't even care" So for the next months I sold my body for hundreds of dollars. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders because I could pay for everything and anything. He seemed perfectly fine with it except for one time when he cried that I was going to see a client on his birthday so I immiediately cancelled on that client for him. we thought we would be able to be together till the application finalized but Unfortunately the application did not process fast enough and my husband had to return back to his home country. He could have immiediately returned but instead he decided to stay home to make more money at his job because he felt dependant on me and didn't like that but he encouraged me to keep prostituting for our future expenses. For the next 3 months he would fly back and forth to see me. I kept telling him to come home but he used the excuse of wanting to make his own money yet when he came here for our anniversary he had no gift yet I managed to gift him a brand new ring. So On the 3rd month he called me crying saying he wanted to come back home to me after he had a heated argument with a coworker at his job and quit. He returned and things were great. The application finalized and we could still be together 247. I no longer had to prostitute and he found work here. till one day I went in his phone and discovered that while we were dating long distance before marriage he went on a secret trip to visit two women as well as was buying used panties and cum filled cookies from a sex worker. To top it off he contacted this sex worker once again while we were married at that time when he went back to his home country to allegedly make money for us. Yet came back here empty handed for our anniversary!?! Needless to say I was furious. My husband proclaims he contacted the sex worker because he felt I emasculated/humiliated him when I prostituted myself in the other room. And resented me for it. I told him I only did it because he said he was okay with it as long as I charged them. He said he only said he was ok with it but secretly wasn't. He proclaims he would never cheat on me if that prostitution thing never happened. When I bring up the fact that he contacted that sex worker even when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend he claims he didn't do anything physically with her just ate cum filled cookies and sniffed panties she mailed to him so he didn't consider it really cheating. And those two girls he went to hang out with in another country were just female friends. Which personally I don't believe them being. So am I crazy for thinking may be he won't ever cheat now that I'm not prostituting and he really only did cheat just because I was sleeping with men for money? He said he's willing to do marriage counseling because he realizes he was wrong for doing wat he did because he knows I only prostituted to support us financially. yet in arguments he blames me for prostituting. He claims he loves me and wants to be with me and even split his 401k with me to show his devotion. But I don't care about any of that money if he will break my heart again. We finally have a chance to live together prostitution/long distance free.but I fear I may be setting myself up for failure. Do you think he will cheat again?