/u/lemonadebaby6 on How can I confirm my asexuality when I don’t even want a boy to come close to me?

I used to feel the same exact way because I have absolutely no experience. But what really solidified it for me was when I moved away to college. The fact that I had the freedom to gain experience. I was away from my parents and had the freedom to do whatever I wanted. There were so many new people and boys that even dmed me and stuff. But I didn’t do anything. Not because I was scared or nervous, but because I literally did not want to. I’m not interested. And that’s when it clicked. I don’t need to kiss someone or have a bf or have sex to know it’s something that I don’t want. It’s something I have never desired/craved.

My friends began wanting to date and do sexual things in middle school. LITERALLY AT 13 years old people around me starting discovering their sexuality and engaging in romantic and sexual activity bc they were interested and curious. Here I am at 19, and I still have never had those feelings. If I could feel any type of sexual or romantic attraction to people, I’m pretty sure it would’ve happened by now. And I was soooo confused how everyone felt this one thing I was unable to. I could never (and i still can’t) understand why people wanted to date so bad. I could never understand how anyone would want to have sex. I literally thought people did it just because it’s what they show in the movies. It didn’t register that this was something they crave naturally. And I have never had these feelings bc I’m aroace.

It’s okay to be confused because this kind of stuff is confusing. Especially because we live in a sex-obsessed, heteronormative society. But you will figure it out one day I promise. And whatever it is you discover, just know that you are completely valid.





July 27, 2020 at 11:44PM

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