very lucky

i’ve been suffering from ptsd for over a year due to a really bad car accident that i was in. the guy i was dating at the time (now my ex) was supportive for the first 3 months, but then he started treating me like shit because he “couldn’t handle it” anymore which boggled me, because i was the one having flashbacks, constantly disassociating from reality, waking up from horrific nightmares and being too afraid to fall back asleep, panic/anxiety attacks, severe depression. few nights ago i crashed and my boyfriend went to take a shower. i had a really bad nightmare, one of the worst i’ve had in a while. i woke up freaking the fuck out. he came in a few minutes later, and as soon as he saw me crying his whole demeanour changed, he dropped everything he was doing and ran straight to me and grabbed me. he laid back on the bed and held onto me so tight. i felt so fucking safe in his arms, i kept crying more and more but his voice started to soothe me. i was calming down, i felt so loved. SO loved. i think it really goes to show that if someone truly loves you, the things you come with, the baggage you carry, the weight on your shoulders, none of it will ever be too much for them if they truly love you. i’m so glad i found someone who supports me fully and doesn’t give up when the road gets bumpy. had to share because i’ve never seen him let his guard down so low so quickly, and just embrace me like that. it was the rawest and most beautiful forum of emotions. i’m so lucky to have someone like him. and i guess i’m just really overwhelmed because i was used to getting treated like i was nothing, but now i’m on a pedestal and i’m so thankful.

Submitted May 01, 2019 at 12:21PM

i’ve been suffering from ptsd for over a year due to a really bad car accident that i was in. the guy i was dating at the time (now my ex) was supportive for the first 3 months, but then he started treating me like shit because he “couldn’t handle it” anymore which boggled me, because i was the one having flashbacks, constantly disassociating from reality, waking up from horrific nightmares and being too afraid to fall back asleep, panic/anxiety attacks, severe depression. few nights ago i crashed and my boyfriend went to take a shower. i had a really bad nightmare, one of the worst i’ve had in a while. i woke up freaking the fuck out. he came in a few minutes later, and as soon as he saw me crying his whole demeanour changed, he dropped everything he was doing and ran straight to me and grabbed me. he laid back on the bed and held onto me so tight. i felt so fucking safe in his arms, i kept crying more and more but his voice started to soothe me. i was calming down, i felt so loved. SO loved. i think it really goes to show that if someone truly loves you, the things you come with, the baggage you carry, the weight on your shoulders, none of it will ever be too much for them if they truly love you. i’m so glad i found someone who supports me fully and doesn’t give up when the road gets bumpy. had to share because i’ve never seen him let his guard down so low so quickly, and just embrace me like that. it was the rawest and most beautiful forum of emotions. i’m so lucky to have someone like him. and i guess i’m just really overwhelmed because i was used to getting treated like i was nothing, but now i’m on a pedestal and i’m so thankful.