I cheated on my boyfriend with Mr XYZ while working abroad. Should I and Mr XYZ be connected on social media/ be contactable with each other?

Hi guys I know I'm a disgusting person, I cheated on my boyfriend while i was working abroad, with Mr XYZ. At that time, Mr XYZ was also attached with his girlfriend (they are currently still together). It happened in between September to october 2017. It has been quite sometime already.

From November 2017 to April 2019, we havent met. We have been breaking off contact with each other - blocking on whatsapp / telegram / facebook /instagram. But somehow, after awhile, one of us would reach out, and we re-connect again.. just asking about each other.

Anyway, till today, I am still feeling a little trapped. Being in contact with him constantly reminds me of our one off cheating affair, yet we are still in love with our long term-partners. But deep down, we are secretly lusting for each other, hoping we might meet again. During the times when we blocked each other, i still do think about him.

Mr XYz never found anyone else to cheat on. And I know he wouldnt, as he is quite a popular and famous face back at his home country.

I cannot bring myself to cheat on my boyfriend again, with another person. I had a very hard time living with this secret, and wouldnt do it again with a 2nd person.

My desire for Mr XYZ have died down, but if we were to meet again someday... it might just happen again. Thankfully, we are seperated by distance.

A part of me wants to cut off contact completely, and move on with life, as if we never met.. I tried very hard, but i'd still check up on him occqssionally. we tried cutting contact but we always end up reconnecting months later..

Its like wanting to keep (yet push away) someone you want to have, but cannot have.

Can someone knock sense into me?



Submitted May 02, 2019 at 06:00AM

Hi guys I know I'm a disgusting person, I cheated on my boyfriend while i was working abroad, with Mr XYZ. At that time, Mr XYZ was also attached with his girlfriend (they are currently still together). It happened in between September to october 2017. It has been quite sometime already.From November 2017 to April 2019, we havent met. We have been breaking off contact with each other - blocking on whatsapp / telegram / facebook /instagram. But somehow, after awhile, one of us would reach out, and we re-connect again.. just asking about each other.Anyway, till today, I am still feeling a little trapped. Being in contact with him constantly reminds me of our one off cheating affair, yet we are still in love with our long term-partners. But deep down, we are secretly lusting for each other, hoping we might meet again. During the times when we blocked each other, i still do think about him.Mr XYz never found anyone else to cheat on. And I know he wouldnt, as he is quite a popular and famous face back at his home country.I cannot bring myself to cheat on my boyfriend again, with another person. I had a very hard time living with this secret, and wouldnt do it again with a 2nd person.My desire for Mr XYZ have died down, but if we were to meet again someday... it might just happen again. Thankfully, we are seperated by distance.A part of me wants to cut off contact completely, and move on with life, as if we never met.. I tried very hard, but i'd still check up on him occqssionally. we tried cutting contact but we always end up reconnecting months later..Its like wanting to keep (yet push away) someone you want to have, but cannot have.Can someone knock sense into me?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more