I cheated on my boyfriend with Mr XYZ while working abroad. Should I and Mr XYZ be connected on social media/ be contactable with each other?

Hi guys I know I'm a disgusting person, I cheated on my boyfriend while i was working abroad, with Mr XYZ. At that time, Mr XYZ was also attached with his girlfriend (they are currently still together). It happened in between September to october 2017. It has been quite sometime already.

From November 2017 to April 2019, we havent met. We have been breaking off contact with each other - blocking on whatsapp / telegram / facebook /instagram. But somehow, after awhile, one of us would reach out, and we re-connect again.. just asking about each other.

Anyway, till today, I am still feeling a little trapped. Being in contact with him constantly reminds me of our one off cheating affair, yet we are still in love with our long term-partners. But deep down, we are secretly lusting for each other, hoping we might meet again. During the times when we blocked each other, i still do think about him.

Mr XYz never found anyone else to cheat on. And I know he wouldnt, as he is quite a popular and famous face back at his home country.

I cannot bring myself to cheat on my boyfriend again, with another person. I had a very hard time living with this secret, and wouldnt do it again with a 2nd person.

My desire for Mr XYZ have died down, but if we were to meet again someday... it might just happen again. Thankfully, we are seperated by distance.

A part of me wants to cut off contact completely, and move on with life, as if we never met.. I tried very hard, but i'd still check up on him occqssionally. we tried cutting contact but we always end up reconnecting months later..

Its like wanting to keep (yet push away) someone you want to have, but cannot have.

Can someone knock sense into me?



Submitted May 02, 2019 at 06:00AM

Hi guys I know I'm a disgusting person, I cheated on my boyfriend while i was working abroad, with Mr XYZ. At that time, Mr XYZ was also attached with his girlfriend (they are currently still together). It happened in between September to october 2017. It has been quite sometime already.From November 2017 to April 2019, we havent met. We have been breaking off contact with each other - blocking on whatsapp / telegram / facebook /instagram. But somehow, after awhile, one of us would reach out, and we re-connect again.. just asking about each other.Anyway, till today, I am still feeling a little trapped. Being in contact with him constantly reminds me of our one off cheating affair, yet we are still in love with our long term-partners. But deep down, we are secretly lusting for each other, hoping we might meet again. During the times when we blocked each other, i still do think about him.Mr XYz never found anyone else to cheat on. And I know he wouldnt, as he is quite a popular and famous face back at his home country.I cannot bring myself to cheat on my boyfriend again, with another person. I had a very hard time living with this secret, and wouldnt do it again with a 2nd person.My desire for Mr XYZ have died down, but if we were to meet again someday... it might just happen again. Thankfully, we are seperated by distance.A part of me wants to cut off contact completely, and move on with life, as if we never met.. I tried very hard, but i'd still check up on him occqssionally. we tried cutting contact but we always end up reconnecting months later..Its like wanting to keep (yet push away) someone you want to have, but cannot have.Can someone knock sense into me?
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