/u/foreverreigning on Yo I'm really over people misunderstanding demisexuality

I really feel this. I've just started to tell people I'm bisexual, and then when they inevitably get confused by my dating style/preferences, I just let them be confused. I've been sexually attracted to one person, and my current "dating" quest is more towards finding a queer platonic partner.

Also, for asexuals who have never felt sexual attraction: don't let allosexuals tell you that your sensual attraction is sexual attraction. It is not even remotely the same (though allosexuals may think so if the two types always come together for them). If you're thinking, "Am I sexually attracted to them?" it's fine to say "No, I'm not sexually attracted to them." You don't need to go into in depth analysis. Doesn't matter if you like cuddling them or kissing them etc. Sexual attraction doesn't require deep introspection for you to experience it. And don't feel any pressure to "try it out" to "know for sure".

Of course, feel free to explore and try things out if you personally want to. And introspecting about "is this sexual attraction?" can have value for some people. But my point is, you don't actually have to prove it. You don't have to live with the lingering doubt. Sexual attraction is not some vague thing that you have to monitor yourself to detect, you don't have to live thinking you're confused. So many allosexuals act like "What is romance without sexual attraction? IF you're experiencing romance, yes, that is sexual attraction" but that is simply not true in the slightest. All because they cannot separate the two does not mean the two are the same.

Ultimately, there's a sense of irony in the fact that before I experienced sexual attraction, I always wondered "is this it?" and doubted myself. But after experiencing it, I'm like "LOL no none of that was sexual attraction. None of this is sexual attraction" and feel more secure in the knowledge that I'm ace spectrum.





May 02, 2019 at 05:18AM
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