I want my marriage to be amazing again...

Im not even sure how to put this into words... I can’t imagine my life without my husband. I love him unconditionally, when we’re good, we’re REALLY good.... But since the start of this year it has been really rocky. I don’t even know how it has gotten so bad, but sometimes I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. I feel like all we do is fight lately. I don’t even know how to get us back to being good at this point since it has been so long that we just aren’t “good.” We have one child who’s in the toddler years. I work full time and so does he. I do everything from taking our daughter to school, picking her up, clean, cook every night, laundry, dog related duties, etc. He helps out, sometimes, mainly only when he’s asked. I will say he’s amazing with our child once he’s home. He plays with her, teaches her, and loves her. He use to be amazing with me too.... WE were amazing together. Sometimes I feel like I must be the problem because I’m the only one who’s ever upset with things. I don’t want to be the problem. I want us to be ok but I don’t even know why we’re not right now..... I’ve tried ignoring things he does/says that hurt me,... I’ve tried telling him what upsets me, but then it makes me feel like a horrible person because he’s so sorry and didn’t mean it to hurt me... Then sometimes I just can’t take it anymore and lose my sh*t.... I lost my shit tonight when he came home and said “this letting her watch TV thing is becoming a habit that you’re creating.” As we sat there with her freshly cooked meal watching TV that I started for her because I needed to prep our adult meal (homemade guacamole, mango salsa, cilantro lime cauliflower rice, and was waiting to sear the beef when he was ready to eat), finish some laundry, and clean up the kitchen...... Now he put her in our bed to fall asleep, took his shower, and went to sleep in the guest room and not take her back to her bed.... I’m just here, crying, and unsure of how to fix things at this point... I don’t even know if this makes sense to anyone. I just feel like my 5 year marriage is crumbling all around me........



Submitted May 01, 2019 at 07:16AM

Im not even sure how to put this into words... I can’t imagine my life without my husband. I love him unconditionally, when we’re good, we’re REALLY good.... But since the start of this year it has been really rocky. I don’t even know how it has gotten so bad, but sometimes I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. I feel like all we do is fight lately. I don’t even know how to get us back to being good at this point since it has been so long that we just aren’t “good.” We have one child who’s in the toddler years. I work full time and so does he. I do everything from taking our daughter to school, picking her up, clean, cook every night, laundry, dog related duties, etc. He helps out, sometimes, mainly only when he’s asked. I will say he’s amazing with our child once he’s home. He plays with her, teaches her, and loves her. He use to be amazing with me too.... WE were amazing together. Sometimes I feel like I must be the problem because I’m the only one who’s ever upset with things. I don’t want to be the problem. I want us to be ok but I don’t even know why we’re not right now..... I’ve tried ignoring things he does/says that hurt me,... I’ve tried telling him what upsets me, but then it makes me feel like a horrible person because he’s so sorry and didn’t mean it to hurt me... Then sometimes I just can’t take it anymore and lose my sh*t.... I lost my shit tonight when he came home and said “this letting her watch TV thing is becoming a habit that you’re creating.” As we sat there with her freshly cooked meal watching TV that I started for her because I needed to prep our adult meal (homemade guacamole, mango salsa, cilantro lime cauliflower rice, and was waiting to sear the beef when he was ready to eat), finish some laundry, and clean up the kitchen...... Now he put her in our bed to fall asleep, took his shower, and went to sleep in the guest room and not take her back to her bed.... I’m just here, crying, and unsure of how to fix things at this point... I don’t even know if this makes sense to anyone. I just feel like my 5 year marriage is crumbling all around me........
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