Girl wants me to text more often, I don't have anything to talk about

So I've been talking to this girl for a little while now and it's been going well, we hang out regularly and are kind of in the preliminary stages of a relationship; we've talked about how we feel and we're just trying to work some things out right now - she's had bad experiences in the past and she's a bit worried about how this could turn out, she's trying to learn more about me and make sure that this is something that I actually want, but my bad texting is not helping her see that.

She's repeatedly brought up the fact that I'm bad at texting/replying. At first it was just a friendly dig, but as we've gotten closer, gotten on the same page and started to talk about where we want to take this, she's started to become really irritated about it, as in her eyes, my lack of texting is a sign of low interest.

For example, yesterday we talked about our day/had a normal conversation about something random that she had to do at university, and then the conversation kind of died down and she sent a text like 'Yeah rip me'. To me that looked like the end of a conversation and I didn't really have a whole lot to contribute after that, so I left it there. Hours later that night, she called me really upset that I didn't respond or text at all again the whole day.

We've been through all this together and I've explained my situation to her, but she stands pretty firmly on the idea that 'if you really care about someone and want to talk to them, you'll find time/things to talk to them about regardless, even if a particular topic of conversation is over, you'll want to talk to them', and I see where she's coming from, I just don't really know what to say other than 'how was work/how are you/what's up' - I could easily say those things, but I guess in my head, only saying things like that, especially every day, just comes off as low effort and boring. Especially now that we've had these talks and she knows I want to text more, I feel like saying things like that will look like I'm just texting because I feel obligated to.

I haven't really involved myself in any type of relationship before, and so I guess that in her experience (she's been in several relationships in the past), texting someone you're talking to/a boyfriend throughout the day is an important part of a relationship to her, and I understand that and want to accommodate it, but unlike her, who is involved in several sports clubs, work and other social groups, I just don't have a whole lot to talk about during my day compared to her.

In retrospect, I get that realistically there are more important things than texting and it shouldn't be a huge concern, but we're both young (19) and I guess things like these are just naturally more important to us at the moment, at least at this point of our relationship

What do you think I should do in this situation? What do you guys talk about when you text?

Thanks for any help

Submitted May 02, 2019 at 06:56AM

So I've been talking to this girl for a little while now and it's been going well, we hang out regularly and are kind of in the preliminary stages of a relationship; we've talked about how we feel and we're just trying to work some things out right now - she's had bad experiences in the past and she's a bit worried about how this could turn out, she's trying to learn more about me and make sure that this is something that I actually want, but my bad texting is not helping her see that.She's repeatedly brought up the fact that I'm bad at texting/replying. At first it was just a friendly dig, but as we've gotten closer, gotten on the same page and started to talk about where we want to take this, she's started to become really irritated about it, as in her eyes, my lack of texting is a sign of low interest.For example, yesterday we talked about our day/had a normal conversation about something random that she had to do at university, and then the conversation kind of died down and she sent a text like 'Yeah rip me'. To me that looked like the end of a conversation and I didn't really have a whole lot to contribute after that, so I left it there. Hours later that night, she called me really upset that I didn't respond or text at all again the whole day.We've been through all this together and I've explained my situation to her, but she stands pretty firmly on the idea that 'if you really care about someone and want to talk to them, you'll find time/things to talk to them about regardless, even if a particular topic of conversation is over, you'll want to talk to them', and I see where she's coming from, I just don't really know what to say other than 'how was work/how are you/what's up' - I could easily say those things, but I guess in my head, only saying things like that, especially every day, just comes off as low effort and boring. Especially now that we've had these talks and she knows I want to text more, I feel like saying things like that will look like I'm just texting because I feel obligated to.I haven't really involved myself in any type of relationship before, and so I guess that in her experience (she's been in several relationships in the past), texting someone you're talking to/a boyfriend throughout the day is an important part of a relationship to her, and I understand that and want to accommodate it, but unlike her, who is involved in several sports clubs, work and other social groups, I just don't have a whole lot to talk about during my day compared to her.In retrospect, I get that realistically there are more important things than texting and it shouldn't be a huge concern, but we're both young (19) and I guess things like these are just naturally more important to us at the moment, at least at this point of our relationshipWhat do you think I should do in this situation? What do you guys talk about when you text?Thanks for any help