Basically engaged to 2 men

Hi I created a reddit account just to get some insight on my situation. So I have an “ex” let’s call him Ahmed for now. He’s from Morocco and we started talking 2016. We talked for a few months and he fell madly in love with me. I also loved him but not nearly as much as he loved me. I sent him a written letter telling him how I love him etc.(will be a detail later). He told me he wanted to marry me then and I agreed. Time passed and I started realizing this was just a fairytale because I was only 17 at the time and he lived across the damn world so I cut things off with him. It hurt us both really badly and he couldn’t get over it. I started a new relationship with a college boy (because I went off to college) and that lasted around 2 years but I noticed myself always thinking about Ahmed here and there. Fast forward to winter 2018 and I was really bored during winter break so I decided to make an account on an international dating site. I saw a really cute Moroccan guy (yes I have a thing for Moroccans lol) and matched with him immediately. Let’s call this guy Yousef. Yousef is my dream guy looks wise. He’s skinny, olive skin tone, big nose, big brown eyes and has a killer smile. I talked with him for a little and he told me he doesn’t speak French or English. I asked why and he said he was too lazy to learn. I was immediately turned off by that because I expected him to know French and for him to tell me it’s because he’s lazy was not good. So I started being petty to him (idk why I know I’m a bitch). I didn’t talk to Yousef for a few months until I got bored again which was last April. We exchanged WhatsApp’s and things got a little serious. I got to know him better and we spoke about religion and other stuff all the time and every day. I flirted with him a lot and he flirted back with me a little bit. Then one day, Yousef asks me if I want to be in a serious relationship with him and it took me by surprise. He told me he wants to know me better so he can marry me. I asked him so many questions such as “will you force me to convert to Islam etc etc” and I accepted all his answers. He then started talking every single day and I was falling hard for him. But then, Ahmed resurfaces yet again. Mind you, he would always pop up in my messages from time to time. Ahmed is my dream guy personality wise but not so much looks wise. Yes he has that Moroccan look that I like but I don’t like his nose or his teeth. I know it’s mean but it’s the truth. However, Ahmed is the sweetest person I have ever met on this planet. We video chatted a few weeks ago for the first time and he’s more attractive in person than I imaged. Oh by the way, he speaks English and French enough for us to communicate smoothly but we often code switch. He started telling me things like “I love you so much and I miss you etc. etc.” I immediately felt feelings rushing back and when he asked me if I loved him I told him only a little. Then yesterday happened when me and Ahmed video chatted for 3 hours. I asked him why does he still love me after all this time despite me being in another relationship and why he didn’t get a new girlfriend. He told me “because you still dwell in my heart” and I felt my stomach churn. He took out the letter that I sent him years ago and I felt like my intestines fell. He asked me why I only love him a little and I started crying and telling him I still love him. The morning happened and I was getting ready for school when he called to video chat. We chatted for an hour and a half and I came late to school. He then told me he wants to marry me, that I’m his angel and his queen, that he wants his children to be under my feet (it’s translated weird but in Arabic that means SO MUCH). And I agreed to marry him. Honestly though, what guy does this? This is rare asf to find in this world. But on the other hand, Yousef is there too and I really like him. We video chatted today and it felt really good. I like the topics we talk about because I am attracted to intelligence and whenever he smiles my heart melts. With Ahmed, he’s so sweet and romantic but I try talking about religion with him and he gets a little uncomfortable. I just don’t know what to do. I am so lost and I feel like Ahmed is the one but I feel bad leaving Yousef but I also don’t want to lead him on. Please help.

Submitted May 18, 2019 at 07:38AM

Hi I created a reddit account just to get some insight on my situation. So I have an “ex” let’s call him Ahmed for now. He’s from Morocco and we started talking 2016. We talked for a few months and he fell madly in love with me. I also loved him but not nearly as much as he loved me. I sent him a written letter telling him how I love him etc.(will be a detail later). He told me he wanted to marry me then and I agreed. Time passed and I started realizing this was just a fairytale because I was only 17 at the time and he lived across the damn world so I cut things off with him. It hurt us both really badly and he couldn’t get over it. I started a new relationship with a college boy (because I went off to college) and that lasted around 2 years but I noticed myself always thinking about Ahmed here and there. Fast forward to winter 2018 and I was really bored during winter break so I decided to make an account on an international dating site. I saw a really cute Moroccan guy (yes I have a thing for Moroccans lol) and matched with him immediately. Let’s call this guy Yousef. Yousef is my dream guy looks wise. He’s skinny, olive skin tone, big nose, big brown eyes and has a killer smile. I talked with him for a little and he told me he doesn’t speak French or English. I asked why and he said he was too lazy to learn. I was immediately turned off by that because I expected him to know French and for him to tell me it’s because he’s lazy was not good. So I started being petty to him (idk why I know I’m a bitch). I didn’t talk to Yousef for a few months until I got bored again which was last April. We exchanged WhatsApp’s and things got a little serious. I got to know him better and we spoke about religion and other stuff all the time and every day. I flirted with him a lot and he flirted back with me a little bit. Then one day, Yousef asks me if I want to be in a serious relationship with him and it took me by surprise. He told me he wants to know me better so he can marry me. I asked him so many questions such as “will you force me to convert to Islam etc etc” and I accepted all his answers. He then started talking every single day and I was falling hard for him. But then, Ahmed resurfaces yet again. Mind you, he would always pop up in my messages from time to time. Ahmed is my dream guy personality wise but not so much looks wise. Yes he has that Moroccan look that I like but I don’t like his nose or his teeth. I know it’s mean but it’s the truth. However, Ahmed is the sweetest person I have ever met on this planet. We video chatted a few weeks ago for the first time and he’s more attractive in person than I imaged. Oh by the way, he speaks English and French enough for us to communicate smoothly but we often code switch. He started telling me things like “I love you so much and I miss you etc. etc.” I immediately felt feelings rushing back and when he asked me if I loved him I told him only a little. Then yesterday happened when me and Ahmed video chatted for 3 hours. I asked him why does he still love me after all this time despite me being in another relationship and why he didn’t get a new girlfriend. He told me “because you still dwell in my heart” and I felt my stomach churn. He took out the letter that I sent him years ago and I felt like my intestines fell. He asked me why I only love him a little and I started crying and telling him I still love him. The morning happened and I was getting ready for school when he called to video chat. We chatted for an hour and a half and I came late to school. He then told me he wants to marry me, that I’m his angel and his queen, that he wants his children to be under my feet (it’s translated weird but in Arabic that means SO MUCH). And I agreed to marry him. Honestly though, what guy does this? This is rare asf to find in this world. But on the other hand, Yousef is there too and I really like him. We video chatted today and it felt really good. I like the topics we talk about because I am attracted to intelligence and whenever he smiles my heart melts. With Ahmed, he’s so sweet and romantic but I try talking about religion with him and he gets a little uncomfortable. I just don’t know what to do. I am so lost and I feel like Ahmed is the one but I feel bad leaving Yousef but I also don’t want to lead him on. Please help.