I came back with my ex and he conffesed he needs time about sex. I feel guilty, what should I do?

Knew him 3yrs ago. Well, our first relationship took time to concrete. It didn't work bc I had a lot of trust problems that I dragged from pasts relationships but...we always liked each other. In that moment we had sex but it was always bad; we had no experience and I had no mental stability (had lots of guilty thoughts around sex). This time, after 1,5 year we reconnected. He ended up inviting me at his home at the second date. We "had sex" but he stopped it bc in his words "he felt tired". Okay, I believe him but still felt something weird. Thought something went wrong but end up believing it just was me and my bad thoughts. He kept sending me flirty messages and it thought everything was okay. Yesterday came up to his house again. I was giving him an oral and he didn't seem into it. (I asked him various time if he liked but he didn't looked exited). So I asked him If he felt right... He started saying that everytime we see each other he has a heavy day and doesn't help him in a sexually. I told him that he doesn't need to say excuses to me, that being man doesn't mean you have the obligation to fuck, that he might need time for that... He agreed and told me that was the real reason and I was right. I totally understood him. Felt that in the past. The sad was that he told me that after two times sleeping together and flirt with me. After giving him an oral :/. I feel kinda sluty for let it happen too soon. I don't know what to do. I have the fear that I might lose value or attractive to him... I don't know what to do feel or think. Any advice?



Submitted March 19, 2020 at 12:06AM

Knew him 3yrs ago. Well, our first relationship took time to concrete. It didn't work bc I had a lot of trust problems that I dragged from pasts relationships but...we always liked each other. In that moment we had sex but it was always bad; we had no experience and I had no mental stability (had lots of guilty thoughts around sex). This time, after 1,5 year we reconnected. He ended up inviting me at his home at the second date. We "had sex" but he stopped it bc in his words "he felt tired". Okay, I believe him but still felt something weird. Thought something went wrong but end up believing it just was me and my bad thoughts. He kept sending me flirty messages and it thought everything was okay. Yesterday came up to his house again. I was giving him an oral and he didn't seem into it. (I asked him various time if he liked but he didn't looked exited). So I asked him If he felt right... He started saying that everytime we see each other he has a heavy day and doesn't help him in a sexually. I told him that he doesn't need to say excuses to me, that being man doesn't mean you have the obligation to fuck, that he might need time for that... He agreed and told me that was the real reason and I was right. I totally understood him. Felt that in the past. The sad was that he told me that after two times sleeping together and flirt with me. After giving him an oral :/. I feel kinda sluty for let it happen too soon. I don't know what to do. I have the fear that I might lose value or attractive to him... I don't know what to do feel or think. Any advice?
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