Am I weird for living with my parents at the age of 30(M)?

I'm on mobile so sorry for bad formatting and throwaway because some friends know my real account. Also, sorry if I have grammar mistakes, English is my second language.

So I've lived with my parents (50 M/F) for almost my entire life (including during my undergrad) and I only ever went away for med school/residency (which I finished last year). When I was finished with residency, I moved back in with my parents and it seems like my younger brother (22M) is having some issues with that.

The reason I moved back in with my parents is because it is convenient (only a 15 min walk from work) and free (I guess you can say I'm leeching off my parents here). The reason because I don't pay my parents anything is because we have a mutual agreement. I'm around 350k in debt from school and after asking my dad if it was okay, we both agreed that it would be a smart idea to pay off my debt as aggressively as possible (like 90-95% of my salary per year because we both do not like the idea of being in debt) since they have enough money for all of us to live comfortably even if I'm not contributing. I told my dad that I'd compensate him after my loans were paid off but he said that wasn't necessary and that as long as I paid my fair share of bills afterwards, I'd be more than welcome to live with them.

My brother knows about our agreement and told me it's weird for me to live with my parents when I'm 30 years old and even worse that I'm not paying them anything. He lives in our basement and pays rent and utilities (according to my dad it's because he wants his privacy and he charges rent because they could otherwise have a tenant that does pay rent down there, if he were to move upstairs they wouldn't charge him rent either). Anyways his comments actually made me start questioning if I actually am being weird by living with my parents at my age. In our culture, it's normal for kids to stay with their parents for their entire lives, but I guess in Canada it is sort of frowned upon to do this.

Honestly, before his comments I wasn't actually ever planning on moving out because as far as I know, my parents and I enjoy each other's company (obviously this could change in the future).

I think I should also mention that my brother also found it weird that I swap rooms with my mom. My dad works the night shift (so he's NOT sleeping there when I am) and my mom finds the room too cold and told me that ever since I left for school she's been in my room since she finds it more comfortable. I said it's fine (their bed is larger anyways so more space for me).

I did start feeling a little guilty about living there for free so I started to e-transfer my dad about $2000 a month (seems to be appropriate considering Toronto's rent prices). My dad got angry at me for sending him money but I feel like trapped between him not wanting it and my guilt for living for free. I still sleep in their bed at my mom's request for wanting my room instead.

So am I really weird for living with my parents in my 30s (and should I start to plan on moving out)? I don't know if this is at this sub's pay grade, but it's been on my mind for a while and I don't know who else to ask for advice.

If this gets comments, I probably won't get to respond to everyone so I'll just say thanks in advance for taking the time to read this and responding to me.

TL;dr - moved back in with my parents at the age of 30 after finishing school (with a large amount of debt from school). Living with them for free while I pay off my debt and not planning on moving out anytime soon. Brother thinks I'm wired and leeching off of them for doing this while they say they're comfortable with it.



Submitted March 19, 2020 at 12:02AM

I'm on mobile so sorry for bad formatting and throwaway because some friends know my real account. Also, sorry if I have grammar mistakes, English is my second language.So I've lived with my parents (50 M/F) for almost my entire life (including during my undergrad) and I only ever went away for med school/residency (which I finished last year). When I was finished with residency, I moved back in with my parents and it seems like my younger brother (22M) is having some issues with that.The reason I moved back in with my parents is because it is convenient (only a 15 min walk from work) and free (I guess you can say I'm leeching off my parents here). The reason because I don't pay my parents anything is because we have a mutual agreement. I'm around 350k in debt from school and after asking my dad if it was okay, we both agreed that it would be a smart idea to pay off my debt as aggressively as possible (like 90-95% of my salary per year because we both do not like the idea of being in debt) since they have enough money for all of us to live comfortably even if I'm not contributing. I told my dad that I'd compensate him after my loans were paid off but he said that wasn't necessary and that as long as I paid my fair share of bills afterwards, I'd be more than welcome to live with them.My brother knows about our agreement and told me it's weird for me to live with my parents when I'm 30 years old and even worse that I'm not paying them anything. He lives in our basement and pays rent and utilities (according to my dad it's because he wants his privacy and he charges rent because they could otherwise have a tenant that does pay rent down there, if he were to move upstairs they wouldn't charge him rent either). Anyways his comments actually made me start questioning if I actually am being weird by living with my parents at my age. In our culture, it's normal for kids to stay with their parents for their entire lives, but I guess in Canada it is sort of frowned upon to do this.Honestly, before his comments I wasn't actually ever planning on moving out because as far as I know, my parents and I enjoy each other's company (obviously this could change in the future).I think I should also mention that my brother also found it weird that I swap rooms with my mom. My dad works the night shift (so he's NOT sleeping there when I am) and my mom finds the room too cold and told me that ever since I left for school she's been in my room since she finds it more comfortable. I said it's fine (their bed is larger anyways so more space for me).I did start feeling a little guilty about living there for free so I started to e-transfer my dad about $2000 a month (seems to be appropriate considering Toronto's rent prices). My dad got angry at me for sending him money but I feel like trapped between him not wanting it and my guilt for living for free. I still sleep in their bed at my mom's request for wanting my room instead.So am I really weird for living with my parents in my 30s (and should I start to plan on moving out)? I don't know if this is at this sub's pay grade, but it's been on my mind for a while and I don't know who else to ask for advice.If this gets comments, I probably won't get to respond to everyone so I'll just say thanks in advance for taking the time to read this and responding to me.TL;dr - moved back in with my parents at the age of 30 after finishing school (with a large amount of debt from school). Living with them for free while I pay off my debt and not planning on moving out anytime soon. Brother thinks I'm wired and leeching off of them for doing this while they say they're comfortable with it.
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