Bf (28M) expects me to make what I(22F) consider some serious sacrifices for our relationship but I feel he won't even listen to my concerns about it

We've been dating for 1 year and things are generally great with us. We get along great, have similar values, he's loving and helpful and generally supportive. Until we get to my future, where I feel we hit a wall.

For some background, I'm currently finishing my uni degree and absolutely hate it. I've always wanted to do medicine but due to being silly in the past I chose not to. At the time I was dating my hs bf and he decided last minute to do uni in another country. I decided to go with him but medicine admissions had already closed so I chose what I thought would be a related degree I would be happy with. Wrong. It didn't work at all the way I expected it to and I absolutely hated my degree and my life in a new place. We broke up and I got together with my current bf. I also decided before that that I'd give my degree a chance and try finishing it out of guilt.

It's now about to end and I dread it. I want to do medicine, I've always wanted to and while I may have lost some years I feel like I still can do it and should asap.

My parents have told me that if I go back to my home country where university is free they'll support me while I do it, but that they can't support me here anymore after I finish my degree (costs are very high). My bf is also from the same country but got citizenship here and is adamantly against going back. He inists I can do medicine here but I feel won't even listen to my concerns. If I were to do it here I'd need someone supporting me and my parents can't do it anymore. I'd also need to pay for uni upfront since I had a loan for my previous one, which I just can't afford. Also, while I'm certain I could get into med school back home, I'm in no way certain I could do it here because I'm not familiar with the process nor the requirements. Plus I'd probably need some sort of training.

When I try to bring these things up he always brushes them off by saying it's not certain I could get in back home either or that if my parents can suport me there why couldn't they support me here (costs are about 5x higher here). He keeps saying if I really want it I can find a way here and it'll be much better for my future to do it at a prestigious uni (I did my degree in a top10 worldwide uni) but I just can't seem to feel the same.

I feel he's asking me to take a huge risk and I would but I feel like maybe we should be married and he should be willing to support me if he's asking so much of me.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just very confused about what I should do. I really love him but I'm afraid of giving up my dream a second time for someone.

Tl;dr: I want to do a different degree and can't seem to find a way to productively discuss it with my bf



Submitted March 19, 2020 at 12:00AM

We've been dating for 1 year and things are generally great with us. We get along great, have similar values, he's loving and helpful and generally supportive. Until we get to my future, where I feel we hit a wall.For some background, I'm currently finishing my uni degree and absolutely hate it. I've always wanted to do medicine but due to being silly in the past I chose not to. At the time I was dating my hs bf and he decided last minute to do uni in another country. I decided to go with him but medicine admissions had already closed so I chose what I thought would be a related degree I would be happy with. Wrong. It didn't work at all the way I expected it to and I absolutely hated my degree and my life in a new place. We broke up and I got together with my current bf. I also decided before that that I'd give my degree a chance and try finishing it out of guilt.It's now about to end and I dread it. I want to do medicine, I've always wanted to and while I may have lost some years I feel like I still can do it and should asap.My parents have told me that if I go back to my home country where university is free they'll support me while I do it, but that they can't support me here anymore after I finish my degree (costs are very high). My bf is also from the same country but got citizenship here and is adamantly against going back. He inists I can do medicine here but I feel won't even listen to my concerns. If I were to do it here I'd need someone supporting me and my parents can't do it anymore. I'd also need to pay for uni upfront since I had a loan for my previous one, which I just can't afford. Also, while I'm certain I could get into med school back home, I'm in no way certain I could do it here because I'm not familiar with the process nor the requirements. Plus I'd probably need some sort of training.When I try to bring these things up he always brushes them off by saying it's not certain I could get in back home either or that if my parents can suport me there why couldn't they support me here (costs are about 5x higher here). He keeps saying if I really want it I can find a way here and it'll be much better for my future to do it at a prestigious uni (I did my degree in a top10 worldwide uni) but I just can't seem to feel the same.I feel he's asking me to take a huge risk and I would but I feel like maybe we should be married and he should be willing to support me if he's asking so much of me.Sorry for the long post, I'm just very confused about what I should do. I really love him but I'm afraid of giving up my dream a second time for someone.Tl;dr: I want to do a different degree and can't seem to find a way to productively discuss it with my bf
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