My(17F) boyfriend (16M) broke up with me because of family

This will be long so I apologize in advance. Some background info before I get into it. I am a female, a senior in HS, 17. My ex (will call him S), is a junior in HS, and 16. Yes, I’m well aware of the stigma around high school relationships and i’m well aware that the both of us are young. Please don’t use those things as an excuse to attack me and/or him for being young, foolish, etc.. I’m just looking to rant and get some outsiders advice about how the breakup went.

So, me and S have been friends for a good year now. I met him when I was dating someone else (that relationship lasted about a year, wasn’t that great, that BF would often be an asshole and ignore me and lie and shit, ended with him cheating on me and me dumping him after i found out). the breakup ended a few months ago, and I was able to move on fairly quickly as I made sure to get my emotions out there right away. Didn’t bottle anything up. If I wanted to cry, I cried. If I wanted to be sad, I was sad. Etc.. I also kept a positive mindset. Everything’s happens for a reason, things will always get better, i deserve better, focused on the things he gave me rather then he took from me (i don’t harbor much ill will towards him. i’m a very patient and forgiving person, which isn’t always a good thing lol), etc.. I started talking to S more this year as I had a class with him. Fast forward, we start talking-talking. Develop feelings for him, vice-versa, go out on a few dates, start dating, boom. I genuinely do really like this guy. Our personalities are very similar, he’s just a good guy, actually put effort into the dates, etc.. I was very happy and just enjoying life.

Then, to get into the breakup. Something to note is that S has very, VERY, strict parents. To the point where it’s excessive. They constantly block him from going out because they fear he’s gonna get into trouble (even though he never has and they have no reason to think he will be). He can’t go play basketball with his friends, attend sporting events, go out to eat, etc.. It has gotten pretty bad lately, with them essentially banning him from going anywhere except school and work, and also requiring him to share his phone location with everyone in the family 24/7. This is part of the reason he broke up with me. He did it over phone, as he couldn’t do it in person because his parents wouldn’t let him leave. Essentially, he said that with his life right now, he knows that he won’t be able to treat me the way I deserve. He has to focus on school (family is up his ass about that even though he gets good grades), basketball, work, and he has his family blocking him from doing anything. He knows that he won’t be able to talk to me a lot, hang out with me, anything, and that i deserve more then that. That I deserve his undivided attention and nothing less, which he can’t do right now. That I should be #1 on his priorities, not below that. Essentially, he broke up with me because he didn’t want me to get used to a relationship where it’s only “half-way”. Because I deserve more then that. He did go on a fairly long rant about how i’m amazing so i deserve everything, that it has absolutely nothing to do with me, that the past few months of his life where we’ve been getting closer have been the best and he’s loved every second of it, etc.. Yes, very sweet and cheesy, I’m aware. But i’d be lying if I didn’t say that hearing that stuff made me feel better. Something else he also noted is that the only thing changing between us is our relationship title. We’ll still be super close friends who talk a ton and will see each-other at school and even hang out sometimes. He just knows we can’t date right now because of what he is able to provide. And he wants to provide more for me. He also said that the relationship is something he wants to revisit in the future, when he can get his family life under control and school and basketball and everything. When he knows he’ll be able to actually give me what I deserve. So yes, an interesting breakup I’d say. I was sad because I was genuinely happy and I don’t want to lose him (which he reassured me that definitely wouldn’t happen. And so far it hasn’t). I’m sure he said other stuff that I forgot but that was the jist of it.

Overall, I did really want to get it off my chest. But I also wouldn’t mind some opinions or input on the breakup. Do you think he did the right thing? How would you have reacted. Anything. If anyone is interested, I am doing fine. I was sad when it happened but being able to sleep on it and think has helped me calm down. It helps that while we broke up, he’s still in my life. And there’s still a possibility of a relationship in the future. So until that time possibly comes, I’m just going to focus on school and friends and having a good life. Feel free to really say anything about this story, just please don’t tear me down LMAO. Ik we’re both young, but maturity can come in a lot of ways and ages. Thank you for reading everyone :)

TL;DR-Boyfriend (16M) broke up with me (17F) because of his insanely strict parents blocking him from going out, having to dedicate a lot of time to school, basketball, work, etc.. He knows that I don’t deserve part of his time and attention, I deserve all of it. So he ended the relationship, but still plan on remaining really good friends with a large possibility of revisiting the relationship in the future.

Submitted November 03, 2019 at 12:04AM

This will be long so I apologize in advance. Some background info before I get into it. I am a female, a senior in HS, 17. My ex (will call him S), is a junior in HS, and 16. Yes, I’m well aware of the stigma around high school relationships and i’m well aware that the both of us are young. Please don’t use those things as an excuse to attack me and/or him for being young, foolish, etc.. I’m just looking to rant and get some outsiders advice about how the breakup went.So, me and S have been friends for a good year now. I met him when I was dating someone else (that relationship lasted about a year, wasn’t that great, that BF would often be an asshole and ignore me and lie and shit, ended with him cheating on me and me dumping him after i found out). the breakup ended a few months ago, and I was able to move on fairly quickly as I made sure to get my emotions out there right away. Didn’t bottle anything up. If I wanted to cry, I cried. If I wanted to be sad, I was sad. Etc.. I also kept a positive mindset. Everything’s happens for a reason, things will always get better, i deserve better, focused on the things he gave me rather then he took from me (i don’t harbor much ill will towards him. i’m a very patient and forgiving person, which isn’t always a good thing lol), etc.. I started talking to S more this year as I had a class with him. Fast forward, we start talking-talking. Develop feelings for him, vice-versa, go out on a few dates, start dating, boom. I genuinely do really like this guy. Our personalities are very similar, he’s just a good guy, actually put effort into the dates, etc.. I was very happy and just enjoying life.Then, to get into the breakup. Something to note is that S has very, VERY, strict parents. To the point where it’s excessive. They constantly block him from going out because they fear he’s gonna get into trouble (even though he never has and they have no reason to think he will be). He can’t go play basketball with his friends, attend sporting events, go out to eat, etc.. It has gotten pretty bad lately, with them essentially banning him from going anywhere except school and work, and also requiring him to share his phone location with everyone in the family 24/7. This is part of the reason he broke up with me. He did it over phone, as he couldn’t do it in person because his parents wouldn’t let him leave. Essentially, he said that with his life right now, he knows that he won’t be able to treat me the way I deserve. He has to focus on school (family is up his ass about that even though he gets good grades), basketball, work, and he has his family blocking him from doing anything. He knows that he won’t be able to talk to me a lot, hang out with me, anything, and that i deserve more then that. That I deserve his undivided attention and nothing less, which he can’t do right now. That I should be #1 on his priorities, not below that. Essentially, he broke up with me because he didn’t want me to get used to a relationship where it’s only “half-way”. Because I deserve more then that. He did go on a fairly long rant about how i’m amazing so i deserve everything, that it has absolutely nothing to do with me, that the past few months of his life where we’ve been getting closer have been the best and he’s loved every second of it, etc.. Yes, very sweet and cheesy, I’m aware. But i’d be lying if I didn’t say that hearing that stuff made me feel better. Something else he also noted is that the only thing changing between us is our relationship title. We’ll still be super close friends who talk a ton and will see each-other at school and even hang out sometimes. He just knows we can’t date right now because of what he is able to provide. And he wants to provide more for me. He also said that the relationship is something he wants to revisit in the future, when he can get his family life under control and school and basketball and everything. When he knows he’ll be able to actually give me what I deserve. So yes, an interesting breakup I’d say. I was sad because I was genuinely happy and I don’t want to lose him (which he reassured me that definitely wouldn’t happen. And so far it hasn’t). I’m sure he said other stuff that I forgot but that was the jist of it.Overall, I did really want to get it off my chest. But I also wouldn’t mind some opinions or input on the breakup. Do you think he did the right thing? How would you have reacted. Anything. If anyone is interested, I am doing fine. I was sad when it happened but being able to sleep on it and think has helped me calm down. It helps that while we broke up, he’s still in my life. And there’s still a possibility of a relationship in the future. So until that time possibly comes, I’m just going to focus on school and friends and having a good life. Feel free to really say anything about this story, just please don’t tear me down LMAO. Ik we’re both young, but maturity can come in a lot of ways and ages. Thank you for reading everyone :)TL;DR-Boyfriend (16M) broke up with me (17F) because of his insanely strict parents blocking him from going out, having to dedicate a lot of time to school, basketball, work, etc.. He knows that I don’t deserve part of his time and attention, I deserve all of it. So he ended the relationship, but still plan on remaining really good friends with a large possibility of revisiting the relationship in the future.