In need of help with my relations with my Mom

I (22) have been struggling to contain the changes in my house.

Background:

  1. My mom(47) raised my brother (23) and I on her own. Our father left due to second thoughts. Unfortunately, his leaving was shortly after my grandpa passed away. She was keen to leave her emotions out and embark on growing us and controlling her life on her own. She had minor help from friends and family.

  2. She manage her self-employment- kindergarten in our living room. This with alimony were enough to make decent living. Side note, we won love at its best and she felt content seeing us succeed, having healthy life and getting our education together (bro started uni studies at highschool and I can enroll to a preferred major

  3. In my teenage years, outlooks were changed: my teen years made drastic changes. I started criticizzing the difference and challenges I was into. Ive learnt to make the most of my condition, But still I was shy and silent to keep my condition outside of main topics.

  4. After a military service, Ive absorbed different live views and eventually, matured and reached lasting confidence. I served where I wished to be and all in all, it did well to me. I loved the equality and close connections there.

Nearly to the end of it, I arranged a knee surgery to take care of a sports injury. Thus, I set my mind to long rest at home.

Fast forward to present: My Mom considers new approaches:

A.she got partly religious and prays on her own. It adds to many hobby and acitivities she does solo.

B. She gave second chance to an unhealthy relationship with a guy- who used to help us, when I was an infant. They aren't 100p together, they are not intimate, and my mother claims she learns how to be in a relationship.

Besides giving her my opinion and having to respect her requests for more time to reconsider, meaning no changes.

I dont feel at home anymore. I avoid dinners with him, becuase he has toxic behavior: Mr knownall, arrogant, stuborn and complains a lot.

I love my Mom. I took a lot on my shoulders to help her see reality and believe that even at her age- she can live well and explicit her good karma in life ;). Nothing seem to hit in 5 months of emotional high and lows.

I will be starting working soon and will leave for studies in a year and am planning a trip just before. I am young and want to feel young among my peers. I stopped meeting new people, because I dont want anyone to understand later on how uncertain I am in my place.

Tldr: mother's old unwanted partner got her attention, moved in and changed our well being and home dynamics. How can I best evaluate this?



Submitted November 02, 2019 at 11:30PM

I (22) have been struggling to contain the changes in my house.Background:My mom(47) raised my brother (23) and I on her own. Our father left due to second thoughts. Unfortunately, his leaving was shortly after my grandpa passed away. She was keen to leave her emotions out and embark on growing us and controlling her life on her own. She had minor help from friends and family.She manage her self-employment- kindergarten in our living room. This with alimony were enough to make decent living. Side note, we won love at its best and she felt content seeing us succeed, having healthy life and getting our education together (bro started uni studies at highschool and I can enroll to a preferred majorIn my teenage years, outlooks were changed: my teen years made drastic changes. I started criticizzing the difference and challenges I was into. Ive learnt to make the most of my condition, But still I was shy and silent to keep my condition outside of main topics.After a military service, Ive absorbed different live views and eventually, matured and reached lasting confidence. I served where I wished to be and all in all, it did well to me. I loved the equality and close connections there.Nearly to the end of it, I arranged a knee surgery to take care of a sports injury. Thus, I set my mind to long rest at home.Fast forward to present: My Mom considers new approaches:A.she got partly religious and prays on her own. It adds to many hobby and acitivities she does solo.B. She gave second chance to an unhealthy relationship with a guy- who used to help us, when I was an infant. They aren't 100p together, they are not intimate, and my mother claims she learns how to be in a relationship.Besides giving her my opinion and having to respect her requests for more time to reconsider, meaning no changes.I dont feel at home anymore. I avoid dinners with him, becuase he has toxic behavior: Mr knownall, arrogant, stuborn and complains a lot.I love my Mom. I took a lot on my shoulders to help her see reality and believe that even at her age- she can live well and explicit her good karma in life ;). Nothing seem to hit in 5 months of emotional high and lows.I will be starting working soon and will leave for studies in a year and am planning a trip just before. I am young and want to feel young among my peers. I stopped meeting new people, because I dont want anyone to understand later on how uncertain I am in my place.Tldr: mother's old unwanted partner got her attention, moved in and changed our well being and home dynamics. How can I best evaluate this?
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