I think my fiancé has been drinking behind my back, and I might have physical proof.

Lately, I (23/F) have been tightening up on our finances. Every dollar I spend, any type of income I recieve, it is all tracked. I am finally moving on to my fiance's (21/M) end of things, and his bank statements are a lot more convulated.

I leave on the weekends to go to my dad's, and he stays at home. Going through the transcripts, I see there is usually a purchase of $20 or so on Fridays, the days I leave. Now, there is some plausible deniability. This could be just gas, or snacks. I don't know. There have been past transactions that I can definitely say we're alcohol, but those are seven-eight months back.

This week when I took off to my dad's, I had the truck and he had the car. When I left, the car had close to a full tank of gas. Interestingly, there was still a purchase at a gas station (one that has liquor) for 23 dollars and some odd change. I went to said gas station, and asked if I had the card in question, if they could pull up the transaction history and which items were bought. The cashier said that yes, it is possible.

Im planning on doing this tomorrow. The cashier did say that the receipts might take a few days to get, so I'm thinking I might be recieving them in the mail. I only want this past weeks transactions, nothing further than that.

I feel absolutely crazy for doing this. But I need to know if he's lying to me. There have been other instances when I was sure he was drinking, but I had no physical proof, only a hunch.

If it turns out he did buy alcohol, I don't know what I'm going to do. He's obviously still lying to me, and I can't trust him. He has said before he wants to stay in our house, but I don't think that he can afford it on his own. I know I won't be able to. Both vehicles are in his name, and I don't know if he will be willing to sell me/transfer over the title of the car, so that leaves me without a way to get to work. We also both work at the same place, so that will be ... interesting.

If it turns out he didn't buy alcohol, then there is still the issue of me not trusting him and actually getting receipts from a gas station that prove nothing. That will make me look absolutely insane.

I have no idea what to do or think. My stomach is churning, and I can't relax or turn off my mind. I can't believe I'm even in this position. I have no idea how to go on from here. I am currently at my dad's, and he is at home. I will be going home tomorrow, and I don't know if I should bring this up to him, or just wait until I get the concrete evidence.

Relevant information: We've been together 2 1/2 years

I go over to my dad's every weekend because that's where my horses are. So I see my ponies, hang out with my dad, help him with hay/wood.

I had no idea he was an alcoholic when we got together, but realized it about six months in. He tried to quit multiple times, when we moved into our new house we said no more.

The house is in my name, the loan for it, the internet, gas and electric, everything. He legally has no claim to that house.

TL;DR: I may have caught my alcoholic fiancé drinking behind my back, and I feel crazy and don't know what to do.

Submitted November 02, 2019 at 11:41PM

Lately, I (23/F) have been tightening up on our finances. Every dollar I spend, any type of income I recieve, it is all tracked. I am finally moving on to my fiance's (21/M) end of things, and his bank statements are a lot more convulated.I leave on the weekends to go to my dad's, and he stays at home. Going through the transcripts, I see there is usually a purchase of $20 or so on Fridays, the days I leave. Now, there is some plausible deniability. This could be just gas, or snacks. I don't know. There have been past transactions that I can definitely say we're alcohol, but those are seven-eight months back.This week when I took off to my dad's, I had the truck and he had the car. When I left, the car had close to a full tank of gas. Interestingly, there was still a purchase at a gas station (one that has liquor) for 23 dollars and some odd change. I went to said gas station, and asked if I had the card in question, if they could pull up the transaction history and which items were bought. The cashier said that yes, it is possible.Im planning on doing this tomorrow. The cashier did say that the receipts might take a few days to get, so I'm thinking I might be recieving them in the mail. I only want this past weeks transactions, nothing further than that.I feel absolutely crazy for doing this. But I need to know if he's lying to me. There have been other instances when I was sure he was drinking, but I had no physical proof, only a hunch.If it turns out he did buy alcohol, I don't know what I'm going to do. He's obviously still lying to me, and I can't trust him. He has said before he wants to stay in our house, but I don't think that he can afford it on his own. I know I won't be able to. Both vehicles are in his name, and I don't know if he will be willing to sell me/transfer over the title of the car, so that leaves me without a way to get to work. We also both work at the same place, so that will be ... interesting.If it turns out he didn't buy alcohol, then there is still the issue of me not trusting him and actually getting receipts from a gas station that prove nothing. That will make me look absolutely insane.I have no idea what to do or think. My stomach is churning, and I can't relax or turn off my mind. I can't believe I'm even in this position. I have no idea how to go on from here. I am currently at my dad's, and he is at home. I will be going home tomorrow, and I don't know if I should bring this up to him, or just wait until I get the concrete evidence.Relevant information: We've been together 2 1/2 yearsI go over to my dad's every weekend because that's where my horses are. So I see my ponies, hang out with my dad, help him with hay/wood.I had no idea he was an alcoholic when we got together, but realized it about six months in. He tried to quit multiple times, when we moved into our new house we said no more.The house is in my name, the loan for it, the internet, gas and electric, everything. He legally has no claim to that house.TL;DR: I may have caught my alcoholic fiancé drinking behind my back, and I feel crazy and don't know what to do.