My parents got into a fight and I [16M] need help

This question probably gets posted here a lot and I might sound complainy but here's what happened:

My Dad's [51M] birthday is in a few days (Wednesday) and the argument started when my Dad wanted to go out today and eat dinner and do the same on his bday but my Mom [49F] wanted to go out and eat dinner today to celebrate his bday and eat dinner and the cake at home on Wednesday because she didn't want to go out and eat dinner on the weekdays. This argument could have easily ended with both sides talking through and forming a solution that would satisfy both of them, but that's not what happened.

My mom said that she didn't want to go outside on his bday because is "lazy" and wanted me to have enough time to finish my homework and studying on Wednesday. But it's most likely because she knew that eating outside today and on his bday would be expensive and she is very frugal and hates spending lots of money. She even got a gift card just for this bday dinner. I also already told her many times I would be fine in terms of school work with eating outside on Wednesday. And when my dad said that he would be ok with eating at home today but still eating outside on his bday, my mom lied that there is no food in the house to eat as dinner and insisted we eat outside tonight to celebrate his bday. My mom also keeps asking my dad what he wants to do but when he replies, she rejects his idea even thought in the end, it's still his bday.

My Dad refuses to listen and consider Mom's idea and although I personally like my Dad's idea more, the way he talked and treated my mom was so unnecessary and made the argument even worse. He started throwing insults at my mom and said that she was crazy and stupid for always wanting to save money on everything. This obviously did not make the situation any better and made my mom upset. He continued saying that she wasn't allowing me to live a good life because she wasn't letting me get the stuff that I wanted since she was very frugal. This is completely false since my mom isn't frugal towards me and does buy me almost everything that I want and I am very grateful for this. I also found him to be hypocritical cause he would always tell my mom to shut up but then he would continue saying something bad about her. Throwing insults and going off topic whenever he is arguing is one of his bad habits.

They haven't talked to each other since this happened and I'm worried that this will lead to another period of months where my parents don't talk to each other and I have to be their messenger. These "periods" happened many times throughout my life and the last one lasted for almost 6 months when they got into an argument over a glass bottle (which ended up with my dad throwing it at her and almost hitting her). The last period almost drove me insane and I can't afford to go through another one when high school is already giving me a bad time. My Dad also seems to have gotten more aggressive lately and my Mom is continuing to have lots of ego.

What should I do to help my parents?

TL;DR - My parents fought again because they could not agree on something and I don't know what to do.



Submitted November 02, 2019 at 11:51PM

This question probably gets posted here a lot and I might sound complainy but here's what happened:My Dad's [51M] birthday is in a few days (Wednesday) and the argument started when my Dad wanted to go out today and eat dinner and do the same on his bday but my Mom [49F] wanted to go out and eat dinner today to celebrate his bday and eat dinner and the cake at home on Wednesday because she didn't want to go out and eat dinner on the weekdays. This argument could have easily ended with both sides talking through and forming a solution that would satisfy both of them, but that's not what happened.My mom said that she didn't want to go outside on his bday because is "lazy" and wanted me to have enough time to finish my homework and studying on Wednesday. But it's most likely because she knew that eating outside today and on his bday would be expensive and she is very frugal and hates spending lots of money. She even got a gift card just for this bday dinner. I also already told her many times I would be fine in terms of school work with eating outside on Wednesday. And when my dad said that he would be ok with eating at home today but still eating outside on his bday, my mom lied that there is no food in the house to eat as dinner and insisted we eat outside tonight to celebrate his bday. My mom also keeps asking my dad what he wants to do but when he replies, she rejects his idea even thought in the end, it's still his bday.My Dad refuses to listen and consider Mom's idea and although I personally like my Dad's idea more, the way he talked and treated my mom was so unnecessary and made the argument even worse. He started throwing insults at my mom and said that she was crazy and stupid for always wanting to save money on everything. This obviously did not make the situation any better and made my mom upset. He continued saying that she wasn't allowing me to live a good life because she wasn't letting me get the stuff that I wanted since she was very frugal. This is completely false since my mom isn't frugal towards me and does buy me almost everything that I want and I am very grateful for this. I also found him to be hypocritical cause he would always tell my mom to shut up but then he would continue saying something bad about her. Throwing insults and going off topic whenever he is arguing is one of his bad habits.They haven't talked to each other since this happened and I'm worried that this will lead to another period of months where my parents don't talk to each other and I have to be their messenger. These "periods" happened many times throughout my life and the last one lasted for almost 6 months when they got into an argument over a glass bottle (which ended up with my dad throwing it at her and almost hitting her). The last period almost drove me insane and I can't afford to go through another one when high school is already giving me a bad time. My Dad also seems to have gotten more aggressive lately and my Mom is continuing to have lots of ego.What should I do to help my parents?TL;DR - My parents fought again because they could not agree on something and I don't know what to do.
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