My [29M] girlfriend [27F] slept with a bunch of her friends before we became official and it’s driving me crazy.

So I initially met my current girlfriend a couple months after she ended a very, very long-term thing. Like, high school sweethearts, lost their virginity to each other sort of long term. We started out as hookup buddies, and about six months later ended up becoming exclusive. Before she met me, she went through a wild phase and slept with about four of her close friends. I think there was some overlap between the friends and when her and I started hooking up too, but I can't hold that against her as we weren't exclusive and I don't really want to know the details.

I'm crazy about her. We click like mad and have so much fun together. She's the kind of person who makes hours feel like minutes. I've never been so happy.

But the friends she slept with are close friends. Men and women, and they're around all the time. And I can't help but feel mad fucking crazy jealous whenever we spend time with them. Like, just knowing they've seen my girlfriend naked, seen her do the sexual things I’ve seen her do, seen her cum.... like, it's so distracting. It's so hard to be around them without thinking about this stuff. I’m consumed by it.

Furthermore, there's a friend she slept with who is currently in a serious relationship. She said they slept together only a couple times because he told her he was planning on ending things with his girlfriend, and then they stopped fucking when he changed his mind, but this dude and his girlfriend will be at parties and out to group dinners and, like, she's so friendly with both of them. Like she wasn’t fucking this girl’s boyfriend a few months ago (and no, the gf does not know her boyfriend cheated on her with my girlfriend). It blows my mind. How can she be so casual about all this???

She swears she never had feelings for any of these people, she was just single for the first time in eight years and wanted to sow her wild oats. I know that what's done is done, she slept with some people and made a big mistake and I need to accept that she did this stuff and move on if I want to be with her — but it's so difficult. It keeps me up at night sometimes, it gives me knots in my stomach, it distracts me when we fuck. She told me all this stuff when we were just hooking up, like right at the beginning, and I considered it all red flags then, but I ended up falling for her anyway. I really want to work on this. Is it something I should bring up with her, or try to quietly move on from?

tl;dr: My girlfriend slept with about four of her close friends before we became official -- one of whom is in a relationship. Even though this happened before we got together, I'm having a really hard time being cool with it, especially when I'm around her friends.

Submitted October 14, 2019 at 11:49PM

So I initially met my current girlfriend a couple months after she ended a very, very long-term thing. Like, high school sweethearts, lost their virginity to each other sort of long term. We started out as hookup buddies, and about six months later ended up becoming exclusive. Before she met me, she went through a wild phase and slept with about four of her close friends. I think there was some overlap between the friends and when her and I started hooking up too, but I can't hold that against her as we weren't exclusive and I don't really want to know the details.I'm crazy about her. We click like mad and have so much fun together. She's the kind of person who makes hours feel like minutes. I've never been so happy.But the friends she slept with are close friends. Men and women, and they're around all the time. And I can't help but feel mad fucking crazy jealous whenever we spend time with them. Like, just knowing they've seen my girlfriend naked, seen her do the sexual things I’ve seen her do, seen her cum.... like, it's so distracting. It's so hard to be around them without thinking about this stuff. I’m consumed by it.Furthermore, there's a friend she slept with who is currently in a serious relationship. She said they slept together only a couple times because he told her he was planning on ending things with his girlfriend, and then they stopped fucking when he changed his mind, but this dude and his girlfriend will be at parties and out to group dinners and, like, she's so friendly with both of them. Like she wasn’t fucking this girl’s boyfriend a few months ago (and no, the gf does not know her boyfriend cheated on her with my girlfriend). It blows my mind. How can she be so casual about all this???She swears she never had feelings for any of these people, she was just single for the first time in eight years and wanted to sow her wild oats. I know that what's done is done, she slept with some people and made a big mistake and I need to accept that she did this stuff and move on if I want to be with her — but it's so difficult. It keeps me up at night sometimes, it gives me knots in my stomach, it distracts me when we fuck. She told me all this stuff when we were just hooking up, like right at the beginning, and I considered it all red flags then, but I ended up falling for her anyway. I really want to work on this. Is it something I should bring up with her, or try to quietly move on from?tl;dr: My girlfriend slept with about four of her close friends before we became official -- one of whom is in a relationship. Even though this happened before we got together, I'm having a really hard time being cool with it, especially when I'm around her friends.