I (25f) recently found out my (25m) boyfriend is on Grindr periodically

Pretty much what the title says. We’ve been together a little over 2.5 years. He recently had some messages up on his computer from a woman that I confronted him about because I was concerned. He immediately went into panic mode crying and begging me not to leave him. He originally said it was a woman from a work trip and it was only sexting that meant nothing to him and he knew it would not lead to anything.

After pulling information out of him for four days (and many changing stories) he finally admitted he likes to download Grindr to talk to transgender women while he jerks off and has done so several times while we’ve been together. He doesn’t think it’s cheating but he did say he wouldn’t do it again because he doesn’t want to hurt me. Basically he thinks it’s okay because it never leads to anything more and he doesn’t meet up with these women.

I have no idea how to proceed. I don’t think I can trust him moving forward. I feel so betrayed and hurt, but I also feel like the biggest asshole for wanting to end things. Am I completely overreacting?

TL;DR Boyfriend has been downloading Grindr behind my back and doesn’t think it’s cheating.



Submitted October 15, 2019 at 12:09AM

Pretty much what the title says. We’ve been together a little over 2.5 years. He recently had some messages up on his computer from a woman that I confronted him about because I was concerned. He immediately went into panic mode crying and begging me not to leave him. He originally said it was a woman from a work trip and it was only sexting that meant nothing to him and he knew it would not lead to anything.After pulling information out of him for four days (and many changing stories) he finally admitted he likes to download Grindr to talk to transgender women while he jerks off and has done so several times while we’ve been together. He doesn’t think it’s cheating but he did say he wouldn’t do it again because he doesn’t want to hurt me. Basically he thinks it’s okay because it never leads to anything more and he doesn’t meet up with these women.I have no idea how to proceed. I don’t think I can trust him moving forward. I feel so betrayed and hurt, but I also feel like the biggest asshole for wanting to end things. Am I completely overreacting?TL;DR Boyfriend has been downloading Grindr behind my back and doesn’t think it’s cheating.
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