My (M 25) Friend ( F 25) yells at me when she's upset

Not in the seance that she's angry at me. It's more like collateral anger. Take today for example. Her father refused to give her any money. She came into my room and yelled at me. She was saying things like "all you people want to take and take I don't care I'll blow this whole place up you are all a bunch of mother-fers". I'm like what are you talking about? Then she started yelling at me about how I owe her cause she looks after my kids, and that I'm a slut, and I never do anything for her. WTF? I don't have any kids. Then I realised she was yelling at her friend Janine, whose kids she does look after. She just pretending that I'm her friend. She gets very specific, while misdirecting her anger. She'll say I'm a dirty skank, I fucked her boyfriend. She's gonna stab me if I'm not careful It's hard to know what to say. I mean to say "I'm not Janine" seems pointless. Her anger is so pointed and real, I might as well be Janine at that point. And directing her towards reality like it might upset her more. It's paralysing. Usually I just wait for her to run out of gas. How are you supposed to act in a conflict like this?

tl;dr She intentionally misplaces her anger and I don't know how to deal.



Submitted September 09, 2019 at 11:57PM

Not in the seance that she's angry at me. It's more like collateral anger. Take today for example. Her father refused to give her any money. She came into my room and yelled at me. She was saying things like "all you people want to take and take I don't care I'll blow this whole place up you are all a bunch of mother-fers". I'm like what are you talking about? Then she started yelling at me about how I owe her cause she looks after my kids, and that I'm a slut, and I never do anything for her. WTF? I don't have any kids. Then I realised she was yelling at her friend Janine, whose kids she does look after. She just pretending that I'm her friend. She gets very specific, while misdirecting her anger. She'll say I'm a dirty skank, I fucked her boyfriend. She's gonna stab me if I'm not careful It's hard to know what to say. I mean to say "I'm not Janine" seems pointless. Her anger is so pointed and real, I might as well be Janine at that point. And directing her towards reality like it might upset her more. It's paralysing. Usually I just wait for her to run out of gas. How are you supposed to act in a conflict like this?tl;dr She intentionally misplaces her anger and I don't know how to deal.
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