I struggle to form close relationships and don’t know how to change

(This is about friendships and not relationships but the principles still stand)

I (20f) am a quite reserved and introverted person, and struggle to talk about myself or be the centre of attention in group situations. Apart from my boyfriend, I have no ‘real’ friends. I have many distant friends and acquaintances I’ve made through sports clubs and lectures, but couldn’t say I have a close group of friends as much as I’d like one.

Honestly, I think if someone were to describe me it would be ‘polite’. I mostly just laugh and nod along, occasionally saying a word or two or making a little joke but mainly keeping the ‘entertaining responsibility’ to others. It almost feels like my mind goes blank in these situations and I can’t contribute to what is happening. In conversations I am content to just focus on the other person as I feel like I am boring them or they don’t care about what I would have to say. I think this is from growing up in a household that always belittled what I had to say and would shut me down completely, meaning that now I find it difficult to hold my own in a conversation.

I have very low self confidence and insecurities about this, and have struggled for a while. Although I have improved in the last couple of years, I still try to deflect conversation or the spotlight whenever I can. I also find myself becoming jealous of my friends who find it so easy to hold conversations or entertain a group of people with stories or funny banter, as I find it so difficult to do those things.

If anyone has any advise (or even just conversation starters lol) to help on how I can become more comfortable talking about myself and making closer relationships pls put it below.

TLDR: my low confidence means I find it hard to talk about myself in conversations and form close friendships. How do I become the ‘entertainer’ and not the ‘entertained’ in a group context?

Submitted September 09, 2019 at 11:58PM

(This is about friendships and not relationships but the principles still stand)I (20f) am a quite reserved and introverted person, and struggle to talk about myself or be the centre of attention in group situations. Apart from my boyfriend, I have no ‘real’ friends. I have many distant friends and acquaintances I’ve made through sports clubs and lectures, but couldn’t say I have a close group of friends as much as I’d like one.Honestly, I think if someone were to describe me it would be ‘polite’. I mostly just laugh and nod along, occasionally saying a word or two or making a little joke but mainly keeping the ‘entertaining responsibility’ to others. It almost feels like my mind goes blank in these situations and I can’t contribute to what is happening. In conversations I am content to just focus on the other person as I feel like I am boring them or they don’t care about what I would have to say. I think this is from growing up in a household that always belittled what I had to say and would shut me down completely, meaning that now I find it difficult to hold my own in a conversation.I have very low self confidence and insecurities about this, and have struggled for a while. Although I have improved in the last couple of years, I still try to deflect conversation or the spotlight whenever I can. I also find myself becoming jealous of my friends who find it so easy to hold conversations or entertain a group of people with stories or funny banter, as I find it so difficult to do those things.If anyone has any advise (or even just conversation starters lol) to help on how I can become more comfortable talking about myself and making closer relationships pls put it below.TLDR: my low confidence means I find it hard to talk about myself in conversations and form close friendships. How do I become the ‘entertainer’ and not the ‘entertained’ in a group context?