How do we mend the relationship between my partner and my familym

TL;DR: My partner cheated (emotionally, via text) and broke up with me. We got back together. I'm willing to work on things, and so is he, but my family is FURIOUS with him and he's terrified of facing them. How can we improve the family/partner dynamic?

Recently my partner broke up with me. He had been talking to another woman for some time, and was in love with her. He wanted to cut things off with me and see where things went with her.

We had a fantastic relationship aside from this. We have been through our ups and downs, but we are supportive of each other, and (despite his behaviour), there is a lot of love between us. He said at the time that he hated himself for feeling this way about her, but he didn't think it was fair on ME if he stayed. I disagreed. I didn't think it was fair on me if he left.

We fought. I cried. He cried. Things were fucked up for a few weeks. But in the end, we got back together. Things have been tough. I struggle to trust him a lot of the time - particularly when he's on his phone - and I cry a lot, but it's slowly getting better.

But this isn't about us.

When we broke up, I ran to my family and told them everything. They are FURIOUS with him, and they have lost a huge amount of respect for him, and probably for me too. ): I got back together with him and my dad and sister have made it clear they think I'm an idiot. My brother (who we live with) is the only one who still gets along with him. They are really great together.

I have a large family. Four sisters, two brothers, 3 brothers-in-law, and lots of nieces and nephews.

My partner is terrified of visiting any of them, for shame of what he's done. He KNOWS he fucked up. He clearly regrets his decision. But he also knows he deserves some shit from my family, and they won't hold back.

I am committed to this guy, and I know he loves me too. I understand that I am taking a huge risk when I choose to stay with him. But I believe that it is worth a shot. The grass is greener where you water it, and I'm trying to water this patch of happiness, taking each challenge as it comes. We are going to visit couples therapy, for example. And we talk more often about our feelings about the relationship than we used to. We are making slow progress.

The family dynamic is a worry though, and I don't know how to approach it. I want him to feel comfortable around my family. Nothing sucks worse than being hated by the in-laws. It could spoil every happy moment in our future.

So far, I've encouraged him to go to an escape room with myself and my sister. That went ok, but they didnt communicate together very much. To be fair, shes shy. I figured it was a good first step.

Any other ideas? I'm really lost. ):

EDIT: I want to add that I am able to stand up for myself with my family. I can argue with them and I think I can make them understand my reasons for staying. I've already tackled my older sister - the unofficial leader, and the strongest voice of reason. I'm not worried about my relationship with my family. I'm worried about HIM and my family.

Submitted September 09, 2019 at 11:42PM

TL;DR: My partner cheated (emotionally, via text) and broke up with me. We got back together. I'm willing to work on things, and so is he, but my family is FURIOUS with him and he's terrified of facing them. How can we improve the family/partner dynamic?Recently my partner broke up with me. He had been talking to another woman for some time, and was in love with her. He wanted to cut things off with me and see where things went with her.We had a fantastic relationship aside from this. We have been through our ups and downs, but we are supportive of each other, and (despite his behaviour), there is a lot of love between us. He said at the time that he hated himself for feeling this way about her, but he didn't think it was fair on ME if he stayed. I disagreed. I didn't think it was fair on me if he left.We fought. I cried. He cried. Things were fucked up for a few weeks. But in the end, we got back together. Things have been tough. I struggle to trust him a lot of the time - particularly when he's on his phone - and I cry a lot, but it's slowly getting better.But this isn't about us.When we broke up, I ran to my family and told them everything. They are FURIOUS with him, and they have lost a huge amount of respect for him, and probably for me too. ): I got back together with him and my dad and sister have made it clear they think I'm an idiot. My brother (who we live with) is the only one who still gets along with him. They are really great together.I have a large family. Four sisters, two brothers, 3 brothers-in-law, and lots of nieces and nephews.My partner is terrified of visiting any of them, for shame of what he's done. He KNOWS he fucked up. He clearly regrets his decision. But he also knows he deserves some shit from my family, and they won't hold back.I am committed to this guy, and I know he loves me too. I understand that I am taking a huge risk when I choose to stay with him. But I believe that it is worth a shot. The grass is greener where you water it, and I'm trying to water this patch of happiness, taking each challenge as it comes. We are going to visit couples therapy, for example. And we talk more often about our feelings about the relationship than we used to. We are making slow progress.The family dynamic is a worry though, and I don't know how to approach it. I want him to feel comfortable around my family. Nothing sucks worse than being hated by the in-laws. It could spoil every happy moment in our future.So far, I've encouraged him to go to an escape room with myself and my sister. That went ok, but they didnt communicate together very much. To be fair, shes shy. I figured it was a good first step.Any other ideas? I'm really lost. ):EDIT: I want to add that I am able to stand up for myself with my family. I can argue with them and I think I can make them understand my reasons for staying. I've already tackled my older sister - the unofficial leader, and the strongest voice of reason. I'm not worried about my relationship with my family. I'm worried about HIM and my family.