I (21m) have alienated works and friends during a depressive/unhealthy season. I’m in the right mind and have no idea how to fix/change it.

There’s a lot to unpack here so bare with me.

I work for my college as a student lead in a group to set up events for the students and such. My co-workers and such are all friends and genuinely great people, all of them are far better at it than me. Last semester was rough, this group started and at the same time was fighting some not great mental health issues, usually involved me wish I didn’t wake up in the mornings.

Cut to this semester. I’m a senior, I’ve sought therapy and medications and for the first time in years I’ve been excited to start school, it been wildly refreshing.

Sadly recently I’ve found out some people take issue with me. In the past I was blunt/short with people. I teased at the little things like how someone was always oddly peppy as that’s just how they were. A lot of people felt this to be demeaning, something I can understand. Other find me bossy as “I’m always telling them what to do”, meanwhile I’m just in the office often and can’t do everything myself, and just suggest things that should be done.

I want to address this and how people view me. It’s hard to shift away from the douche persona I had given often, and I’m more than not proud of it. I want to foster kindness and friendliness, despite that I’m a bit more introverted and dorky than the others.

Some caveats: Most of the complaints have been from the female members, as I’m just a bit blunt and sarcastic with them. I’m in the office so often as I’m just a student worker, and worked their over the summer, so usually our boss bounces ideas off me and asks for my advice and such, so usually I’m the one who texts everyone about things that need to be done. My mental health is fine, just a nasty combo of Depression, Anxiety, and ADD that flared after a rough break up, but I’ve grown immensely since then. In no way do I want to be the boss, I prefer just a support position and would rather just support others in their goals. I consider all of them great people and was the first to recommend most of them for the team.

Ok so after my long spew: Where should I go from here? I’ve talked to my boss about it, and while he just wants to build me up we understand we can’t ignore this. Tomorrow we have a meeting so I’m tempted to just address the elephant in the room and just say everything on my mind, from my past mental health to how I’m having to rebuild most of who I am lately. I’ve asked a few friends who’s opinion I trust as they’ve been the honest with me, and while they say I’m not a bad guy, they do admit I’m blunt and can be a bit sarcastic at times so I know where to start.

Overall what are some recommendations as to how mend these bridges, I don’t want them to burn and I refuse to just ignore it.

Thoughts?

Tl;dr - I alienated some friends/workmates during a bad season in my life. There’s a bunch of reasons why but I won’t let them be excuses. I want to fix this or at least start with some apologizes soon. How do I begin now that I’m in a good place?

Submitted September 10, 2019 at 12:04AM

There’s a lot to unpack here so bare with me.I work for my college as a student lead in a group to set up events for the students and such. My co-workers and such are all friends and genuinely great people, all of them are far better at it than me. Last semester was rough, this group started and at the same time was fighting some not great mental health issues, usually involved me wish I didn’t wake up in the mornings.Cut to this semester. I’m a senior, I’ve sought therapy and medications and for the first time in years I’ve been excited to start school, it been wildly refreshing.Sadly recently I’ve found out some people take issue with me. In the past I was blunt/short with people. I teased at the little things like how someone was always oddly peppy as that’s just how they were. A lot of people felt this to be demeaning, something I can understand. Other find me bossy as “I’m always telling them what to do”, meanwhile I’m just in the office often and can’t do everything myself, and just suggest things that should be done.I want to address this and how people view me. It’s hard to shift away from the douche persona I had given often, and I’m more than not proud of it. I want to foster kindness and friendliness, despite that I’m a bit more introverted and dorky than the others.Some caveats: Most of the complaints have been from the female members, as I’m just a bit blunt and sarcastic with them. I’m in the office so often as I’m just a student worker, and worked their over the summer, so usually our boss bounces ideas off me and asks for my advice and such, so usually I’m the one who texts everyone about things that need to be done. My mental health is fine, just a nasty combo of Depression, Anxiety, and ADD that flared after a rough break up, but I’ve grown immensely since then. In no way do I want to be the boss, I prefer just a support position and would rather just support others in their goals. I consider all of them great people and was the first to recommend most of them for the team.Ok so after my long spew: Where should I go from here? I’ve talked to my boss about it, and while he just wants to build me up we understand we can’t ignore this. Tomorrow we have a meeting so I’m tempted to just address the elephant in the room and just say everything on my mind, from my past mental health to how I’m having to rebuild most of who I am lately. I’ve asked a few friends who’s opinion I trust as they’ve been the honest with me, and while they say I’m not a bad guy, they do admit I’m blunt and can be a bit sarcastic at times so I know where to start.Overall what are some recommendations as to how mend these bridges, I don’t want them to burn and I refuse to just ignore it.Thoughts?Tl;dr - I alienated some friends/workmates during a bad season in my life. There’s a bunch of reasons why but I won’t let them be excuses. I want to fix this or at least start with some apologizes soon. How do I begin now that I’m in a good place?