/u/gamerpisces on Does I count as asexual if I still like doing stuff to other people, but I hate it when they try to do stuff to me?

As long as you don't experience sexual attraction in a "conventional" way you are asexual/on the ace spectrum. Your sexual preferences, sexual behaviour and/or libido have nothing to do with your sexuality. That said, if you feel like asexuality is a label that fits you then you are welcome on the spectrum, only you can truly know yourself.

People among all sexualities have roughly preferences ranging from: only want to be done but not do -> want to do do and be done equally -> only want to do but not be done. I believe this is what is in the lesbian community called being paper or stone, or something similar, paper = only want to be done and stone = only want to do (not sure if these terms are exclusive for the lesbian community and shouldn't be used by others though).

I personally have realized that my preference is, as far as I am willing to go in a sexual context, to "be done" or have stuff done to me. The idea of me doing stuff to other people (beyond kissing them back e.g.) is off putting and awkward and just kind of eeehhh, nah, I'd rather not, sorry. I still don't experience sexual attraction however, so I am still 100% asexual.

April 29, 2019 at 06:35AM