neglected from love since i was a child

I grew up in a country that i am not originally from with parents who were as new to the culture as i was hence there was already a culture difference to which i had to struggle with in my younger years. I would usually encounter difference in opinion and virtues in school and home and this was pretty hard for me especially as my parents didn't know how society and people socialized here.
The notion of going out to a bar and hanging around friends late at night has been something very alien to them hence i was already starting to be secluded from my peers.

The notion of love is also something of a taboo. I can't even remember the last time they told me they loved me and i'm 22 years old. You could say that my emotional side has been neglected from my childhood to now where i am suffering such consequences of not feeling loved nor appreciated. I feel that such a thing has made me into a sort of needy person and someone who at times cannot believe it when people come say hi or even want me for something.

I have perhaps tried making up for this neglection by looking for it from girls in college but i did not have any luck with that either and this has consumed my thoughts whenever i do something and it makes me really sad when i think about it.
I love my parents as they have sacrificed a lot for me but till this day whenever i talk to them about feeling sad or hinting that i want even the most simple of affection from them like a hug, they always downplay my situation and although i try not to show any signs of sadness in front of them, it really hurts me inside as i was neglected such a thing since a young age especially as i was bullied which makes it even worse.
I have tried looking up online for a solution and one of things i found that intrigued my attention was that at times people look for things in others that they were neglected from having and i can see similarities with that since i have been trying to find this love from women in my college and i could see where this opinion comes from.

I always try not to feel sorry for myself because it really isn't going to change anything but at times i just can't help myself.

Submitted April 28, 2019 at 09:52PM

I grew up in a country that i am not originally from with parents who were as new to the culture as i was hence there was already a culture difference to which i had to struggle with in my younger years. I would usually encounter difference in opinion and virtues in school and home and this was pretty hard for me especially as my parents didn't know how society and people socialized here.The notion of going out to a bar and hanging around friends late at night has been something very alien to them hence i was already starting to be secluded from my peers.The notion of love is also something of a taboo. I can't even remember the last time they told me they loved me and i'm 22 years old. You could say that my emotional side has been neglected from my childhood to now where i am suffering such consequences of not feeling loved nor appreciated. I feel that such a thing has made me into a sort of needy person and someone who at times cannot believe it when people come say hi or even want me for something.I have perhaps tried making up for this neglection by looking for it from girls in college but i did not have any luck with that either and this has consumed my thoughts whenever i do something and it makes me really sad when i think about it.I love my parents as they have sacrificed a lot for me but till this day whenever i talk to them about feeling sad or hinting that i want even the most simple of affection from them like a hug, they always downplay my situation and although i try not to show any signs of sadness in front of them, it really hurts me inside as i was neglected such a thing since a young age especially as i was bullied which makes it even worse.I have tried looking up online for a solution and one of things i found that intrigued my attention was that at times people look for things in others that they were neglected from having and i can see similarities with that since i have been trying to find this love from women in my college and i could see where this opinion comes from.I always try not to feel sorry for myself because it really isn't going to change anything but at times i just can't help myself.