To Bang or Not To Bang...

I keep trying to find someone I know personally who I believe will answer me with the answer I want to hear and I am pretty sure thats not actually how advice is supposed to work, thus - I come to Reddit...

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Wondering if I (31F) should sleep with my ex (25M). The opportunity has recently come up and it is something I am seriously considering doing. We broke up in the beginning of February, so just a few months ago. I took it very, very hard. He on the other hand, did not. I have not slept with anyone else and I have only been on one date that ended up going very poorly. He immediately got into a relationship after we broke up and it has not gone well at all. He is planning on breaking up with her the next time he sees her in person. Something to note is that although they've been dating for a couple of months, they have not yet slept together for a few reasons (she has a traumatic sexual history, he isn't quick to go "all the way" - he's only had two previous partners, me being one of them, and he recently had surgery, which has prevented him from being able to really do anything physical anyway).

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We stopped speaking entirely for the past month or so, but he reached out to me a couple of days ago for emotional support that he was not getting from his current girlfriend. Long story short, I went to his house last night and saw him for the first time since February and there is definitely something there. Nothing happened, because he isn't someone to cheat and I have enough respect for him and his girlfriend to maintain my distance as well, but my mind has been racing. Knowing that he is definitely going to break up with her and that neither of us has been with anyone since each other makes me feel like it's possible the opportunity will come up soon and I am super unsure of what to do.

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I am still definitely NOT over him, but I am certain that I do not want to be in a relationship with him again. I am fairly certain he IS over me and he also does not want to be in a relationship with me again either. I fear though, that with him, there is no way to successfully separate my emotional and physical feelings and even though he is over me and doesn't want to be with me anymore, I don't think that he really knows how to seperate the two either (he is very inexperienced with these types of things).

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My reason for wanting to sleep with him is that it was so damn good and I just wanna do it some more. I am fairly positive that the only thing that could really come of this is orgasms and emotional pain. So... what do I do? Please let me know if I need to eleborate on anything. Thanks Reddit!



Submitted April 29, 2019 at 06:59AM

I keep trying to find someone I know personally who I believe will answer me with the answer I want to hear and I am pretty sure thats not actually how advice is supposed to work, thus - I come to Reddit...​Wondering if I (31F) should sleep with my ex (25M). The opportunity has recently come up and it is something I am seriously considering doing. We broke up in the beginning of February, so just a few months ago. I took it very, very hard. He on the other hand, did not. I have not slept with anyone else and I have only been on one date that ended up going very poorly. He immediately got into a relationship after we broke up and it has not gone well at all. He is planning on breaking up with her the next time he sees her in person. Something to note is that although they've been dating for a couple of months, they have not yet slept together for a few reasons (she has a traumatic sexual history, he isn't quick to go "all the way" - he's only had two previous partners, me being one of them, and he recently had surgery, which has prevented him from being able to really do anything physical anyway).​We stopped speaking entirely for the past month or so, but he reached out to me a couple of days ago for emotional support that he was not getting from his current girlfriend. Long story short, I went to his house last night and saw him for the first time since February and there is definitely something there. Nothing happened, because he isn't someone to cheat and I have enough respect for him and his girlfriend to maintain my distance as well, but my mind has been racing. Knowing that he is definitely going to break up with her and that neither of us has been with anyone since each other makes me feel like it's possible the opportunity will come up soon and I am super unsure of what to do.​I am still definitely NOT over him, but I am certain that I do not want to be in a relationship with him again. I am fairly certain he IS over me and he also does not want to be in a relationship with me again either. I fear though, that with him, there is no way to successfully separate my emotional and physical feelings and even though he is over me and doesn't want to be with me anymore, I don't think that he really knows how to seperate the two either (he is very inexperienced with these types of things).​My reason for wanting to sleep with him is that it was so damn good and I just wanna do it some more. I am fairly positive that the only thing that could really come of this is orgasms and emotional pain. So... what do I do? Please let me know if I need to eleborate on anything. Thanks Reddit!
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