Seeking perspective on my (30m) sex issues

Tldnr; i dont like sex or the idea of casual sex. Can I find love in 2019s hook up culture ? Will I have to start pretending to like sex to find love ?

I've always wanted to save myself for marriage. I dont enjoy sex. I don't enjoy the idea of casual sex. So dating has been challenging. I'm always up front about those facts

My first gf said we would always be together. We slept together. The sex was bad. She left me. I was devastated

I felt foolish and ashamed for giving her my virginity.

My next gf I was (again ) very honest about my ideas of sex. She was (also) very patient. Eventually we were talking about moving in together. We had sex. It was great. She left me

I feel even worse now.

I feel I'm developing trust issues. It seems people cannot comit. They change their minds. Their perspectives.

I was recently seeing a girl and she left me because I didn't want to have sex until we were more committed. She pressured me to have sex and I declined .

Even though I was honest with her from the start she pressured me and then left. No patience ? Or was she lying ? My trust issues intensify

The idea of sleeping with 3 people is sad to me. But at some point I'll have to give dating a try again.

Should I just start having casual sex and give up my ideas about intimacy? Even though I won't enjoy it ?

Is it possible to find someone both honest and patient ?

Any help would be appreciated. Any input. Even if you think I'm totally backwards on the issue. I'm feeling very lost and would appreciate some perspective.



Submitted April 29, 2019 at 06:32AM

Tldnr; i dont like sex or the idea of casual sex. Can I find love in 2019s hook up culture ? Will I have to start pretending to like sex to find love ?I've always wanted to save myself for marriage. I dont enjoy sex. I don't enjoy the idea of casual sex. So dating has been challenging. I'm always up front about those factsMy first gf said we would always be together. We slept together. The sex was bad. She left me. I was devastatedI felt foolish and ashamed for giving her my virginity.My next gf I was (again ) very honest about my ideas of sex. She was (also) very patient. Eventually we were talking about moving in together. We had sex. It was great. She left meI feel even worse now.I feel I'm developing trust issues. It seems people cannot comit. They change their minds. Their perspectives.I was recently seeing a girl and she left me because I didn't want to have sex until we were more committed. She pressured me to have sex and I declined .Even though I was honest with her from the start she pressured me and then left. No patience ? Or was she lying ? My trust issues intensifyThe idea of sleeping with 3 people is sad to me. But at some point I'll have to give dating a try again.Should I just start having casual sex and give up my ideas about intimacy? Even though I won't enjoy it ?Is it possible to find someone both honest and patient ?Any help would be appreciated. Any input. Even if you think I'm totally backwards on the issue. I'm feeling very lost and would appreciate some perspective.
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