Losing Faith

Growing up I always was told and believed that when the time would come I would find someone. I was told this when I was in high school by family and friends when the girls never even looked in my direction. "Don't worry, the girls get more mature in college, it will be better" I was top student, top athlete, and well respected by all so it didn't make sense but I went with it.

When I was in college I struggled finding myself at first, I tried to become a better version of myself to see more success in the departments of love and relationships but it didn't work. I ended up growing as a person but left my 4 years of undergrad with no relationship to speak of and nothing more than my first kiss. I had a great job, had a perfect GPA and graduated top of my class. I was also told by many people what an amazing person I was, yet nothing. My family said "Don't worry, the girls get more mature in grad school, it will be better"

A year later I again graduate top of my class with a masters degree, I still had the great job, and I began going on dates but none ever became second dates. As you could probably guess by now, my family told me "Don't worry the girls are more mature in law school, it will be better"

Now we are in the present and I am finish up my first year of law school. I still have the job, am still doing well in school, and am loved by everyone at my school (no this is not me trying to sound over confident or cocky, rather just an analysis of what people tell me). I still haven't been on a second date with anyone and I feel as lonely as ever.

I used to believe in this romantic version of love. I see a girl I like and I honestly don't think man id love to have sex with her. I think, man id love to talk to her, to have an intelligent conversation with her, to sit and just smile at each other. Im getting to the point in life where I am doubting everything I do. I have good friends, success in work and school, and am extremely driven but I feel like with all the failed dates and attempts with girls it is just something im doing. Im starting to lose faith in myself and love. I know that I have so much to offer in life. I know I would make someone very happy and lucky and I don't know why it just doesn't want to go right for me. I see all these jerks with girls who claim that they don't like that kind of guy and yet here I am and here they are. I've never really put these words out there and im not even sure I expressed how im feeling clearly. I just need a bone thrown my way, some kind of sign to tell me that it's in my near future. Im not looking for my wife right now but being lonely isn't fun either.

Submitted April 24, 2019 at 02:30AM

Growing up I always was told and believed that when the time would come I would find someone. I was told this when I was in high school by family and friends when the girls never even looked in my direction. "Don't worry, the girls get more mature in college, it will be better" I was top student, top athlete, and well respected by all so it didn't make sense but I went with it.When I was in college I struggled finding myself at first, I tried to become a better version of myself to see more success in the departments of love and relationships but it didn't work. I ended up growing as a person but left my 4 years of undergrad with no relationship to speak of and nothing more than my first kiss. I had a great job, had a perfect GPA and graduated top of my class. I was also told by many people what an amazing person I was, yet nothing. My family said "Don't worry, the girls get more mature in grad school, it will be better"A year later I again graduate top of my class with a masters degree, I still had the great job, and I began going on dates but none ever became second dates. As you could probably guess by now, my family told me "Don't worry the girls are more mature in law school, it will be better"Now we are in the present and I am finish up my first year of law school. I still have the job, am still doing well in school, and am loved by everyone at my school (no this is not me trying to sound over confident or cocky, rather just an analysis of what people tell me). I still haven't been on a second date with anyone and I feel as lonely as ever.I used to believe in this romantic version of love. I see a girl I like and I honestly don't think man id love to have sex with her. I think, man id love to talk to her, to have an intelligent conversation with her, to sit and just smile at each other. Im getting to the point in life where I am doubting everything I do. I have good friends, success in work and school, and am extremely driven but I feel like with all the failed dates and attempts with girls it is just something im doing. Im starting to lose faith in myself and love. I know that I have so much to offer in life. I know I would make someone very happy and lucky and I don't know why it just doesn't want to go right for me. I see all these jerks with girls who claim that they don't like that kind of guy and yet here I am and here they are. I've never really put these words out there and im not even sure I expressed how im feeling clearly. I just need a bone thrown my way, some kind of sign to tell me that it's in my near future. Im not looking for my wife right now but being lonely isn't fun either.