I just broke up with my long distance GF 2 days ago and I NEED HELP :(

am Hella confused

SO i met a girl online in a platform we lot of people chat in a room by text or voice we don't see eachothers pics, i met the girl there and she attracted me by her pesonalities and her age ( since she was older than me and i'm into older than me girls and she's into younger boys) and her interests too so i talked to her and we called liked eachothers exchanged pics and started dating it was so fast, then we started loving eachother and the fire was lit between us, the thing is when i saw her she wasn't exactly my type doesnt mean she wasnt pretty just not my type but has a nice body but i already liked her before seeing her cuz i believed i cared more about personality

so i didnt care and i felt like i forced love and liking on my self ( that was my biggest mistake)

soo we started loving and talking all day and night every day it was 2 months and a half everyday whole day then after i started feeling weir because when u force something into ur self it start showing after, so after all i guesss i care more about apparence than i thought then i was going in ups and down something i feel the love fade then it come back and in a points it became hard to say i love you but we got along and liked eachother in everything else i still think she is almost perfect never met someone like her then i didnt want to lie to her or pretend so i caught up my guts and told her 2 days ago that i no longer love and we broke up and this is the hardest thing in my life i can't get over it and i miss her a loooot and i'm so depressed i even cried ( knowing i was unable to cry since my childhood didn't cry even when i lost my dad) but i cried and she really loved me i know she's having it harder than me, my head whispered to me many time to try and get back i still cant see my self with someone else but i tried to stay strong and stopped myself because i already hurted her now and i don't wanna do it again, the problem is we never met yet i'm sure if we were close i wouldv developed more feelings and liked her more in personal and things wouldntv come to this but now with this corona shit it's hard and i have a problem that i can't wait and give up things very fast.. and we are still talking we coulmldnt do the no cotnact rule it'll be much harder

i don't know what to do now i don't even know what question to ask, it feels like the greatest lost of my life i don't know if i still love her or what i'm feeling but i feel i can't live without her but i don't trust myself i don't wanna hurt her again i don't knowwww what to do..

so if u have any advices or solutions or u had simmillar experience just tell me anything i'm really broken and i feel more bad how i broken the hard of an innocent person that didn't deserve it but it's good that i did it now after just months and before even meeting better than hurting her later itll be harder.. i'm so desperate i shouldn't have rushed love since we started talking shouldv took things slower that was one of my biggest mistakes but that's how it is i hate msyelf for this.

TL;DR; : i dated a girl online that's not exactly my type but still pretty i forced love on me we loved eachother she really love me after 2 months of talking day and night i broke up with her we didnt meet yet and now i'm confused and feel hella bad and miss her and feel bad for what i did too

Submitted April 25, 2020 at 11:32PM

am Hella confusedSO i met a girl online in a platform we lot of people chat in a room by text or voice we don't see eachothers pics, i met the girl there and she attracted me by her pesonalities and her age ( since she was older than me and i'm into older than me girls and she's into younger boys) and her interests too so i talked to her and we called liked eachothers exchanged pics and started dating it was so fast, then we started loving eachother and the fire was lit between us, the thing is when i saw her she wasn't exactly my type doesnt mean she wasnt pretty just not my type but has a nice body but i already liked her before seeing her cuz i believed i cared more about personalityso i didnt care and i felt like i forced love and liking on my self ( that was my biggest mistake)soo we started loving and talking all day and night every day it was 2 months and a half everyday whole day then after i started feeling weir because when u force something into ur self it start showing after, so after all i guesss i care more about apparence than i thought then i was going in ups and down something i feel the love fade then it come back and in a points it became hard to say i love you but we got along and liked eachother in everything else i still think she is almost perfect never met someone like her then i didnt want to lie to her or pretend so i caught up my guts and told her 2 days ago that i no longer love and we broke up and this is the hardest thing in my life i can't get over it and i miss her a loooot and i'm so depressed i even cried ( knowing i was unable to cry since my childhood didn't cry even when i lost my dad) but i cried and she really loved me i know she's having it harder than me, my head whispered to me many time to try and get back i still cant see my self with someone else but i tried to stay strong and stopped myself because i already hurted her now and i don't wanna do it again, the problem is we never met yet i'm sure if we were close i wouldv developed more feelings and liked her more in personal and things wouldntv come to this but now with this corona shit it's hard and i have a problem that i can't wait and give up things very fast.. and we are still talking we coulmldnt do the no cotnact rule it'll be much harderi don't know what to do now i don't even know what question to ask, it feels like the greatest lost of my life i don't know if i still love her or what i'm feeling but i feel i can't live without her but i don't trust myself i don't wanna hurt her again i don't knowwww what to do..so if u have any advices or solutions or u had simmillar experience just tell me anything i'm really broken and i feel more bad how i broken the hard of an innocent person that didn't deserve it but it's good that i did it now after just months and before even meeting better than hurting her later itll be harder.. i'm so desperate i shouldn't have rushed love since we started talking shouldv took things slower that was one of my biggest mistakes but that's how it is i hate msyelf for this.TL;DR; : i dated a girl online that's not exactly my type but still pretty i forced love on me we loved eachother she really love me after 2 months of talking day and night i broke up with her we didnt meet yet and now i'm confused and feel hella bad and miss her and feel bad for what i did too