(30 F) I’m feeling really depressed and lonely during quarantine and my boyfriend that I live with (30 M) has no desire to spend time with me.

Tldr: My boyfriend hasn’t spent time with me unless it’s to sleep or hang out for a little bit before sleeping since March 20 (the day we were both laid off). I am growing increasingly lonely and depressed and he doesn’t care because “everyone is depressed and stressed right now”

So, basically since quarantine has begun, my boyfriend spends all day in the other room playing video games. Normally I have no issue with this. I play games a lot as well. I got a new game that I’ve been playing for hours on end. But we have spent no quality time at all since this began over a month ago. I have asked and he spends about 15 minutes with me until he gets bored and goes back to his game. It’s a game we can’t play together btw since we only have one of that particular console. One day we watched exactly 3 episodes of a show together before he got bored and went back to the game.

He won’t even finish a meal with me. He takes a few bites and then goes back, or he takes his meal to the couch and watches something he wants to watch on tv.

I’ve expressed to him a few times that I want to hang out but he doesn’t see it as not spending time together because we live together. Being in the same house counts as spending time together for him.

I’m also really missing my job (that I love) and I’m very sad and he says that it’s irrelevant because everyone feels that way right now. He has left me to cry on my own. I have literally no money, I haven’t gotten any government assistance yet, I can’t pay a single bill or even buy a meal, and I’m so stressed and lonely. I have nobody to talk to. He offers no comfort.. he just leaves or says “ok but everyone is going through that right now”. He has bought groceries and offered me money but I really just want the comfort of him being there.

He also will only come out to talk to me about something that happened in the game. I love to hear about it (I play the game too) but I really wish he wanted to go for a walk with me, watch a movie with me, finish a meal next to me, etc.

He also stays up all night playing and some nights I have to ask him to please come to bed.

He swears he still loves me, but I honestly feel like he’s going to break up with me right after quarantine. Part of me even thinks he might be talking to someone else online. This is hard because we have been close for over 10 years and dating for almost 3. But I think he doesn’t love me anymore and I don’t know how to come to terms with this during quarantine.

I should mention that life wasn’t like this AT ALL until lockdown. We have always spent lots of time hanging out and doing things together. Now we are hardly ever in the same room.

I also have no friends or family to talk to. Everyone has been really unavailable for me, which is ok I guess considering what’s going on. But I’m really really lonely and I have nobody. I can barely take it anymore. I have nobody at all that cares about me right now but I miss everyone.

What do I do? I’m so stressed that I feel like I will pass out from the heaviness of life right now. Part of me thinks I should just leave after quarantine but I love him and I don’t know if this is just a phase that will pass.



Submitted April 26, 2020 at 12:02AM

Tldr: My boyfriend hasn’t spent time with me unless it’s to sleep or hang out for a little bit before sleeping since March 20 (the day we were both laid off). I am growing increasingly lonely and depressed and he doesn’t care because “everyone is depressed and stressed right now”So, basically since quarantine has begun, my boyfriend spends all day in the other room playing video games. Normally I have no issue with this. I play games a lot as well. I got a new game that I’ve been playing for hours on end. But we have spent no quality time at all since this began over a month ago. I have asked and he spends about 15 minutes with me until he gets bored and goes back to his game. It’s a game we can’t play together btw since we only have one of that particular console. One day we watched exactly 3 episodes of a show together before he got bored and went back to the game.He won’t even finish a meal with me. He takes a few bites and then goes back, or he takes his meal to the couch and watches something he wants to watch on tv.I’ve expressed to him a few times that I want to hang out but he doesn’t see it as not spending time together because we live together. Being in the same house counts as spending time together for him.I’m also really missing my job (that I love) and I’m very sad and he says that it’s irrelevant because everyone feels that way right now. He has left me to cry on my own. I have literally no money, I haven’t gotten any government assistance yet, I can’t pay a single bill or even buy a meal, and I’m so stressed and lonely. I have nobody to talk to. He offers no comfort.. he just leaves or says “ok but everyone is going through that right now”. He has bought groceries and offered me money but I really just want the comfort of him being there.He also will only come out to talk to me about something that happened in the game. I love to hear about it (I play the game too) but I really wish he wanted to go for a walk with me, watch a movie with me, finish a meal next to me, etc.He also stays up all night playing and some nights I have to ask him to please come to bed.He swears he still loves me, but I honestly feel like he’s going to break up with me right after quarantine. Part of me even thinks he might be talking to someone else online. This is hard because we have been close for over 10 years and dating for almost 3. But I think he doesn’t love me anymore and I don’t know how to come to terms with this during quarantine.I should mention that life wasn’t like this AT ALL until lockdown. We have always spent lots of time hanging out and doing things together. Now we are hardly ever in the same room.I also have no friends or family to talk to. Everyone has been really unavailable for me, which is ok I guess considering what’s going on. But I’m really really lonely and I have nobody. I can barely take it anymore. I have nobody at all that cares about me right now but I miss everyone.What do I do? I’m so stressed that I feel like I will pass out from the heaviness of life right now. Part of me thinks I should just leave after quarantine but I love him and I don’t know if this is just a phase that will pass.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more