Me (26M) and this girl (26F) have been talking for a month, but no date yet. Need some advice for my next step please!

To put this in perspective first... I am a 26-year-old male who is decently attractive. I have sorta put dating off until I finished grad school, so I've only ever been on one date in my entire life. My date at the time told me that I was someone who was ready for commitment. I've been using tinder for 2+ years and have only had about 10 matches (5 of which turned into conversations, 0 of which have resulted in a date).

So I (26M) matched with a girl (26F) on tinder at the beginning last month, and we have been talking almost every day since then. This is the first time that I've ever hit it off with someone so quickly and the most I have ever talked with someone on tinder. She even complimented me on my looks (which was a first) and I returned the favor of course because she is very pretty. The only off-putting thing at first was that she was discouraged about how far away we live from one another (like 75 minutes distance).

We exchanged numbers after a few hours of chatting on tinder. After about 3 days of talking to her, I asked her out on a date. She said she'd prefer to get to know someone better before jumping into a date right away. We then texted everyday - conversations have ranged from talking about our families, what we look for in a partner, our future goals, why we both want to move away from home, personal interests, etc. Mind you, we both work in healthcare and both have difficult schedules because we work long shifts. We even texted for like 3+ hours on Valentine's Day about pets and other things.

After about 3 weeks of talking, I asked her about going on a date again. I sent her my schedule for this month so she would have it handy. She told me she would look at hers to try and figure something out for us. This was the third time I brought up going on a date, and I promised to her this time that I wouldn't bring it up again until she gave me a day that works for her. Believe me, I really want to go on a date with her and see what she's like in person.

After texting for a month, I noticed that she wasn't responding to a few texts of mine. So I waited a few days and sent her a long-winded one asking her if I did something wrong (or upset her; or if she lost interest in me; etc.). She sent me back a long text explaining that she gets caught up in her life a bit too much at times and sometimes loses focus on what's important at the moment. She also said that she wasn't sure if us talking was more of a friendship or a romantic relationship. I informed her that I was definitely interested in her romantically and that I have been unsure how to gauge if she wanted to ever talk about more intimate things (I had flirted with her a few times over the past month). I told her that I take a while to open up to people, but with her, we clicked right away so I felt comfortable. She even agreed that we definitely have a lot in common.

So fast forward a day, and she texted me the next morning. We started talking again about interests and whatnot, but nothing sexual or intimate. My question is how to I add romance to our conversation and/or how do I get this date to finally happen? I have a few friends that have told me to ignore the promise I made about not bringing up a date again, but I feel that it is definitely time for us to meet since it's been over a month of just texting.

Please hit me with your thoughts or ideas about what I should do next. I am willing to be more patient with her too, but I'm also not sure if she's talking to other guys that she met online.

Submitted March 04, 2020 at 11:27PM

To put this in perspective first... I am a 26-year-old male who is decently attractive. I have sorta put dating off until I finished grad school, so I've only ever been on one date in my entire life. My date at the time told me that I was someone who was ready for commitment. I've been using tinder for 2+ years and have only had about 10 matches (5 of which turned into conversations, 0 of which have resulted in a date).So I (26M) matched with a girl (26F) on tinder at the beginning last month, and we have been talking almost every day since then. This is the first time that I've ever hit it off with someone so quickly and the most I have ever talked with someone on tinder. She even complimented me on my looks (which was a first) and I returned the favor of course because she is very pretty. The only off-putting thing at first was that she was discouraged about how far away we live from one another (like 75 minutes distance).We exchanged numbers after a few hours of chatting on tinder. After about 3 days of talking to her, I asked her out on a date. She said she'd prefer to get to know someone better before jumping into a date right away. We then texted everyday - conversations have ranged from talking about our families, what we look for in a partner, our future goals, why we both want to move away from home, personal interests, etc. Mind you, we both work in healthcare and both have difficult schedules because we work long shifts. We even texted for like 3+ hours on Valentine's Day about pets and other things.After about 3 weeks of talking, I asked her about going on a date again. I sent her my schedule for this month so she would have it handy. She told me she would look at hers to try and figure something out for us. This was the third time I brought up going on a date, and I promised to her this time that I wouldn't bring it up again until she gave me a day that works for her. Believe me, I really want to go on a date with her and see what she's like in person.After texting for a month, I noticed that she wasn't responding to a few texts of mine. So I waited a few days and sent her a long-winded one asking her if I did something wrong (or upset her; or if she lost interest in me; etc.). She sent me back a long text explaining that she gets caught up in her life a bit too much at times and sometimes loses focus on what's important at the moment. She also said that she wasn't sure if us talking was more of a friendship or a romantic relationship. I informed her that I was definitely interested in her romantically and that I have been unsure how to gauge if she wanted to ever talk about more intimate things (I had flirted with her a few times over the past month). I told her that I take a while to open up to people, but with her, we clicked right away so I felt comfortable. She even agreed that we definitely have a lot in common.So fast forward a day, and she texted me the next morning. We started talking again about interests and whatnot, but nothing sexual or intimate. My question is how to I add romance to our conversation and/or how do I get this date to finally happen? I have a few friends that have told me to ignore the promise I made about not bringing up a date again, but I feel that it is definitely time for us to meet since it's been over a month of just texting.Please hit me with your thoughts or ideas about what I should do next. I am willing to be more patient with her too, but I'm also not sure if she's talking to other guys that she met online.