Should I (18F) reach out to apologize to my ex and friend (17F) who I ghosted 6 months ago (well after we had broken up)?

A year ago, I started dating this girl I met at my job. I honestly should never have agreed to go out with her, as I was suffering with severe untreated depression and anxiety and thought the relationship would end like the one before it had, where I never ended up feeling the same way and kept ghosting until I got broken up with. Lo and behold, it did.

We stayed friends, but the thing is my other friends and I have never been the type to text each other a bunch, preferring to catch up in person(months will go by and neither of us has a problem with it), whereas my ex texts frequently and expects the same back or wants to call, so interacting with her made me somewhat anxious. I was really busy towards the end of senior year and was in rehearsal for a very intense show after I graduated, so from May-June she would text me random memes and "are you alive, I want to be your friend" after which I apologized, explaining that I would get home from rehearsal and just sleep causing me to have little time to talk to my friends. She said it was fine, but I continued my behavior and then was out of the country during July and had to move in to college at the beginning of August, so I didn't text her after my initial apology.

During those two months, she texted me stuff like "I want to have gained one good thing from working at our job" and "I feel sick thinking about us not being friends" "Bitch! I don't have time to be sad about you ditching me" and "You think you're too good to give me some explanation? Fuck you. You're a piece of shit. You're gonna fucking text me in four months saying "so sorry, I hate myself" who do you think you are? You have no excuse and I can't believe I ever thought you cared about me. All you care about is your own feelings and every day since you ghosted me proves to me more that you don't give a shit about anyone else but yourself."

Finally, around mid-August she texted saying that she wouldn't reach out anymore. Needless to say, her prior texts made me somewhat uncomfortable and I didn't text back for the rest of the semester.

I've worked a couple shifts at our old job recently and some of the managers asked if I was still in contact with her, as they saw how close we had been. I told them a short and less gay version of the truth and since then I've been considering apologizing to her, as I know I was definitely in the wrong for not communicating well but at the same time I don't want to make her upset about something she's probably already gotten over. I also am not sure if I want to be close friends with her again if she'll continue to expect me to constantly be in contact with her as that's not necessarily the kind of person I am and I think to some extent I still associate her with how stressful our relationship was. So, I drafted the text below but I haven't sent it.

"Hi so it's completely valid if you don't want to respond but I just want to say sorry. I didn't want to stop being friends with you, I was out of the country all of July and tbh I've never had a friend who I would text all the time and so I'll be honest some of ur messages freaked me out a little? Also you read me like a book and im baby lmao. Idk. I never wanted to hurt you but I definitely was inconsiderate and should've put in way more effort to communicate this earlier. I should've been more honest tbh even when we started dating, I was depressed as fuck for most of it and not in a place to date someone so maybe there's still the guilt/stress from that on my mind when I talk to you. I'm also realizing that I'm not as attracted to girls as I thought and probably just confused my gender presentation with what my sexuality was supposed to be. I don't even know. Again, I'm really sorry and it's entirely possible I'm doing this for subconsciously selfish reasons but I genuinely hope your life is going well. You're really cool, I'm glad to have met you and again don't feel like you have to respond if this is stupid."

tl;dr: Over the summer (primarily due to being busy and out of the country) I ghosted my friend who I had been in a relationship with during the previous fall and winter and she texted me multiple times about how she still wanted to be friends but that I was too selfish, never cared about her and had no excuse for ghosting her. I've considered texting her to apologize but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do.

Submitted January 02, 2020 at 12:09AM

A year ago, I started dating this girl I met at my job. I honestly should never have agreed to go out with her, as I was suffering with severe untreated depression and anxiety and thought the relationship would end like the one before it had, where I never ended up feeling the same way and kept ghosting until I got broken up with. Lo and behold, it did.We stayed friends, but the thing is my other friends and I have never been the type to text each other a bunch, preferring to catch up in person(months will go by and neither of us has a problem with it), whereas my ex texts frequently and expects the same back or wants to call, so interacting with her made me somewhat anxious. I was really busy towards the end of senior year and was in rehearsal for a very intense show after I graduated, so from May-June she would text me random memes and "are you alive, I want to be your friend" after which I apologized, explaining that I would get home from rehearsal and just sleep causing me to have little time to talk to my friends. She said it was fine, but I continued my behavior and then was out of the country during July and had to move in to college at the beginning of August, so I didn't text her after my initial apology.During those two months, she texted me stuff like "I want to have gained one good thing from working at our job" and "I feel sick thinking about us not being friends" "Bitch! I don't have time to be sad about you ditching me" and "You think you're too good to give me some explanation? Fuck you. You're a piece of shit. You're gonna fucking text me in four months saying "so sorry, I hate myself" who do you think you are? You have no excuse and I can't believe I ever thought you cared about me. All you care about is your own feelings and every day since you ghosted me proves to me more that you don't give a shit about anyone else but yourself."Finally, around mid-August she texted saying that she wouldn't reach out anymore. Needless to say, her prior texts made me somewhat uncomfortable and I didn't text back for the rest of the semester.I've worked a couple shifts at our old job recently and some of the managers asked if I was still in contact with her, as they saw how close we had been. I told them a short and less gay version of the truth and since then I've been considering apologizing to her, as I know I was definitely in the wrong for not communicating well but at the same time I don't want to make her upset about something she's probably already gotten over. I also am not sure if I want to be close friends with her again if she'll continue to expect me to constantly be in contact with her as that's not necessarily the kind of person I am and I think to some extent I still associate her with how stressful our relationship was. So, I drafted the text below but I haven't sent it."Hi so it's completely valid if you don't want to respond but I just want to say sorry. I didn't want to stop being friends with you, I was out of the country all of July and tbh I've never had a friend who I would text all the time and so I'll be honest some of ur messages freaked me out a little? Also you read me like a book and im baby lmao. Idk. I never wanted to hurt you but I definitely was inconsiderate and should've put in way more effort to communicate this earlier. I should've been more honest tbh even when we started dating, I was depressed as fuck for most of it and not in a place to date someone so maybe there's still the guilt/stress from that on my mind when I talk to you. I'm also realizing that I'm not as attracted to girls as I thought and probably just confused my gender presentation with what my sexuality was supposed to be. I don't even know. Again, I'm really sorry and it's entirely possible I'm doing this for subconsciously selfish reasons but I genuinely hope your life is going well. You're really cool, I'm glad to have met you and again don't feel like you have to respond if this is stupid."tl;dr: Over the summer (primarily due to being busy and out of the country) I ghosted my friend who I had been in a relationship with during the previous fall and winter and she texted me multiple times about how she still wanted to be friends but that I was too selfish, never cared about her and had no excuse for ghosting her. I've considered texting her to apologize but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do.