BF [27] likes to spend his money and doesn't save it. I [25F]'just can't stand it.

Hi, sorry for any mistakes/formating, I'm on my mobile (and not a native speaker).

So, long story short. We've been together for 3 years and he is working and I'm still studying. We do not live together.

The thing is, I'm tired of seeing him being so bad with his money. He earns little more than a minimal wage and still lives at his parents (so do I). When we started dating he'd buy me little presents like snacks and drinks he knew I liked, he drove me on my fav places, etc. He still does that but rarely because I told him I appreciate all the things he does for me but I don't want him to spend money on these things and that we should save money for bigger trips and future. I also told him to stop spending so much money for my birthday/Christmas/anniversary presents but he just doesn't listen. I'm very appreciative but I'm just not happy anymore...I'm just scared and disappointed when he buys me stuff.

I have always been oriented in the future, and I'm very organised and responsible with money because my parents raised me like this. My BF is all another story - his mother never taught him about money when he was little (well they didn't have a lot of money when he was a kid).

He lives at his parents, pays his own bills and helps with money at home. But the expenses are not that high he couldn't save up some money (they are like half of his pay). One year ago he moved out and then he moved back with his parents because he was broke (well honestly there was a situation when he got really sick and couldn't go to work for a month and the rent was really high).

He doesn't buy a lot of stuff, just the unecessary stuff (in my opinion) that adds up. He is a sports fan so he buys a lot of sport magazines, pictures, figures, toys, etc. related to his favourite sport. He has a lot (like really a lot of this kind of stuff) and he just doesn't stop buying it. He told me he is a big fan and that collecting is his hobby (yeah, and an expensive one). He smokes a lot of cigarettes and weed so he spends a lot of money on this too. He spends a lot of money on energy drinks, coffee, snacks and that's it.

It frustrates me because he hasn't got any savings, is broke every month and we had never gone on a holiday (like for a few days, but we did go on a one day trips). We talked about this and he said that he knows he's bad with money. On the other occasion he told me he likes buying this stuff because he never had a lot of things because they were poor and now he can finally buy himself stuff he wants and that he works hard (this is true) for his money. I understand him completely but I'm worried that this won't change. Every month I'm disappointed because he doesn't save any money. Now everytime I bring his finances up he gets irritated and doesn't want to talk to me, says we already talked about this and that this is his money (we do not have shared finances).

Like I said I'm studying at the moment. But I have a job too and I too pay my bills and still save some money.

What should I do? On the one hand I understand him but on the other hand I'm worried that this will not get better (or that it will get worse) and that we won't make a life together because he will always be broke. I'm not sure if I'm over exaggerating or are my concerns right? Any thoughts, ideas, advice?

TL;DR: my BF is really bad with money and spends a lot of it and I'm worried it won't get better, especially because I want to create a life and my future with him.

Submitted January 02, 2020 at 12:09AM

Hi, sorry for any mistakes/formating, I'm on my mobile (and not a native speaker).So, long story short. We've been together for 3 years and he is working and I'm still studying. We do not live together.The thing is, I'm tired of seeing him being so bad with his money. He earns little more than a minimal wage and still lives at his parents (so do I). When we started dating he'd buy me little presents like snacks and drinks he knew I liked, he drove me on my fav places, etc. He still does that but rarely because I told him I appreciate all the things he does for me but I don't want him to spend money on these things and that we should save money for bigger trips and future. I also told him to stop spending so much money for my birthday/Christmas/anniversary presents but he just doesn't listen. I'm very appreciative but I'm just not happy anymore...I'm just scared and disappointed when he buys me stuff.I have always been oriented in the future, and I'm very organised and responsible with money because my parents raised me like this. My BF is all another story - his mother never taught him about money when he was little (well they didn't have a lot of money when he was a kid).He lives at his parents, pays his own bills and helps with money at home. But the expenses are not that high he couldn't save up some money (they are like half of his pay). One year ago he moved out and then he moved back with his parents because he was broke (well honestly there was a situation when he got really sick and couldn't go to work for a month and the rent was really high).He doesn't buy a lot of stuff, just the unecessary stuff (in my opinion) that adds up. He is a sports fan so he buys a lot of sport magazines, pictures, figures, toys, etc. related to his favourite sport. He has a lot (like really a lot of this kind of stuff) and he just doesn't stop buying it. He told me he is a big fan and that collecting is his hobby (yeah, and an expensive one). He smokes a lot of cigarettes and weed so he spends a lot of money on this too. He spends a lot of money on energy drinks, coffee, snacks and that's it.It frustrates me because he hasn't got any savings, is broke every month and we had never gone on a holiday (like for a few days, but we did go on a one day trips). We talked about this and he said that he knows he's bad with money. On the other occasion he told me he likes buying this stuff because he never had a lot of things because they were poor and now he can finally buy himself stuff he wants and that he works hard (this is true) for his money. I understand him completely but I'm worried that this won't change. Every month I'm disappointed because he doesn't save any money. Now everytime I bring his finances up he gets irritated and doesn't want to talk to me, says we already talked about this and that this is his money (we do not have shared finances).Like I said I'm studying at the moment. But I have a job too and I too pay my bills and still save some money.What should I do? On the one hand I understand him but on the other hand I'm worried that this will not get better (or that it will get worse) and that we won't make a life together because he will always be broke. I'm not sure if I'm over exaggerating or are my concerns right? Any thoughts, ideas, advice?TL;DR: my BF is really bad with money and spends a lot of it and I'm worried it won't get better, especially because I want to create a life and my future with him.