Was it wrong to tell my ex that I liked someone else the whole time that we were dating so that she would stop arguing with me?

So, bit of info about me and the other person in this story; 3 months ago I started dating a girl, Elspeth, she has 3 mental illnesses. Schizophrenia, OCD, and anxiety. At this point, I was depressed, and it got very bad. Like, to the point that I wrote a suicide note bad. The year before we started dating, she was in a bad place too, but she recovered. She was happy now, and that did make me happy for a while.

Now, onto the actual story. We only dated for 3 weeks, and our relationship was going perfectly up until the last 3 days. Or at least, to me it seemed perfect. However, she randomly started an argument with me over the fact that I hadn't been happy for the past few days. The reason I hadn't been happy was that one of my best friends had started turning against me and just generally being a dick, but I didn't want to cut him off, and that made my school life pretty miserable.

I told her it exactly why it was right from the start. Yet she refused to believe me. She thought it was her fault and no matter how many times I told her it wasn't, she wouldn't believe me.

Then she said that I'd been manipulative and that I had been controlling her with threats. She said that I told her that if we broke up then I'd kill myself. I never said that, I know how fucked up that is and I wouldn't do that to anyone. But here's where I fucked up. I just agreed with her.

I was in a really bad emotional state, I wasn't thinking properly, I couldn't be bothered to check if I actually had, but because I had been depressed and she knew that I was, and that had thoughts about it a lot, so it made sense to me that I could have potentially said that.

I know that so far there's nothing I've really done wrong. That kind of changes during the next argument we had, like a week after we broke up. She kept saying I liked another girl, she's called Holly, everyone else also thought that, and they had for at least 2 months. Admittedly, I kind of did, and kind of still do, like her. But I'm not entirely sure about her, and it's not like how I liked Elspeth.

She also wanted me to tell her what was wrong, why I wasn't happy. I mean come on that's pretty obvious, she shouldn't have even had to ask. But she did, because she knew that if I said she's upset me then she can use it against me. She did just that. By this point I just wanted to be done with her, so I told her that I did have a crush on Holly and then she had a go at me, she said I was cheating on her just because I liked someone else??

It did work though. By (sort of) lying, I got her to leave me alone. It's been 2 months and I've only talked to her once. That was another argument though, and this time she was just complaining about life and then lying to her friends about me messaging her first.

Tl;dr: I was arguing with my ex and she tried to manipulate me into telling her that I liked someone else and also that I was upset because we broke up, as she wanted to use both of those things against me. So I did tell her both of those, hoping it would make her leave me alone, and it did.

Lots of people hate me because of this. I know that she has been spreading rumors about me, one of her friends messaged me showing me screenshots of it, but I still didn't expect so many people to side with her over me. So am I the one in the wrong here or is it her, and how would I be able to fix all of the friendships she's ruined?

Submitted September 12, 2019 at 12:06AM

So, bit of info about me and the other person in this story; 3 months ago I started dating a girl, Elspeth, she has 3 mental illnesses. Schizophrenia, OCD, and anxiety. At this point, I was depressed, and it got very bad. Like, to the point that I wrote a suicide note bad. The year before we started dating, she was in a bad place too, but she recovered. She was happy now, and that did make me happy for a while.Now, onto the actual story. We only dated for 3 weeks, and our relationship was going perfectly up until the last 3 days. Or at least, to me it seemed perfect. However, she randomly started an argument with me over the fact that I hadn't been happy for the past few days. The reason I hadn't been happy was that one of my best friends had started turning against me and just generally being a dick, but I didn't want to cut him off, and that made my school life pretty miserable.I told her it exactly why it was right from the start. Yet she refused to believe me. She thought it was her fault and no matter how many times I told her it wasn't, she wouldn't believe me.Then she said that I'd been manipulative and that I had been controlling her with threats. She said that I told her that if we broke up then I'd kill myself. I never said that, I know how fucked up that is and I wouldn't do that to anyone. But here's where I fucked up. I just agreed with her.I was in a really bad emotional state, I wasn't thinking properly, I couldn't be bothered to check if I actually had, but because I had been depressed and she knew that I was, and that had thoughts about it a lot, so it made sense to me that I could have potentially said that.I know that so far there's nothing I've really done wrong. That kind of changes during the next argument we had, like a week after we broke up. She kept saying I liked another girl, she's called Holly, everyone else also thought that, and they had for at least 2 months. Admittedly, I kind of did, and kind of still do, like her. But I'm not entirely sure about her, and it's not like how I liked Elspeth.She also wanted me to tell her what was wrong, why I wasn't happy. I mean come on that's pretty obvious, she shouldn't have even had to ask. But she did, because she knew that if I said she's upset me then she can use it against me. She did just that. By this point I just wanted to be done with her, so I told her that I did have a crush on Holly and then she had a go at me, she said I was cheating on her just because I liked someone else??It did work though. By (sort of) lying, I got her to leave me alone. It's been 2 months and I've only talked to her once. That was another argument though, and this time she was just complaining about life and then lying to her friends about me messaging her first.Tl;dr: I was arguing with my ex and she tried to manipulate me into telling her that I liked someone else and also that I was upset because we broke up, as she wanted to use both of those things against me. So I did tell her both of those, hoping it would make her leave me alone, and it did.Lots of people hate me because of this. I know that she has been spreading rumors about me, one of her friends messaged me showing me screenshots of it, but I still didn't expect so many people to side with her over me. So am I the one in the wrong here or is it her, and how would I be able to fix all of the friendships she's ruined?