Does it ever get better?

Its been a little over one month since Dday and some days are better than others but most days, and especially nights are awful.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years now, we are both 22 years old. We had our ups and downs in our relationship but things we're always good between us, we always seemed happy together and we we're always each others emotional support systems. I can't really seem to find the energy to explain the situation in detail but basically she went out drinking one night with some her friends then ended up making out with a guy she met at the bar. She then proceeded to lie to me about the situation and I only found out a couple days later from a mutual friend who went out with her that night. It's been a long month of trickle truth I feel and she claims she's telling me the complete truth but theres a side of me that still has this gut feeling more happened that night then she's leading me onto believe.

Never the less, her and I have been trying to work past things. However, I'm not really sure if I can ever move past the thought of her wanting someone and wanting to act on it so bad she was willing to destroy our entire relationship over it. I can see she's really trying to do everything she can to help me feel better and I'd like to believe she's truly remorseful but I feel like its only been a month and she's not aware of the full extent of the pain her actions have caused me yet. A lot of the days I see her I start telling her I need to move on but it usually ends in her crying, getting super emotional and begging me to not give up so soon and to give it time and I always feel so bad because even after everything she's done to me I care about her and hate seeing her like that and tell her I'll keep trying. I just feel so lost though. I care about this girl and she's been my best friend for the past 4 years and I hate the idea of letting that go but I just feel like as long as I'm still with her and still have feelings for her I'll never be able to move on and the pain will never go away. So I just wanted to ask is it too early on for me to be thinking this way? Have any of you felt the same way while trying to reconcile with a partner who betrayed you? I just don't know if I should stick around and continue trying or just cut all contact, take the space I need and begin the healing and moving on process without her.

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TL;DR: Trying to work through things with my girlfriend of 4 years who cheated on me because I'm having trouble letting go but I feel like I'll never be able to get over what happened unless I move on.



Submitted September 11, 2019 at 11:57PM

Its been a little over one month since Dday and some days are better than others but most days, and especially nights are awful.My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years now, we are both 22 years old. We had our ups and downs in our relationship but things we're always good between us, we always seemed happy together and we we're always each others emotional support systems. I can't really seem to find the energy to explain the situation in detail but basically she went out drinking one night with some her friends then ended up making out with a guy she met at the bar. She then proceeded to lie to me about the situation and I only found out a couple days later from a mutual friend who went out with her that night. It's been a long month of trickle truth I feel and she claims she's telling me the complete truth but theres a side of me that still has this gut feeling more happened that night then she's leading me onto believe.Never the less, her and I have been trying to work past things. However, I'm not really sure if I can ever move past the thought of her wanting someone and wanting to act on it so bad she was willing to destroy our entire relationship over it. I can see she's really trying to do everything she can to help me feel better and I'd like to believe she's truly remorseful but I feel like its only been a month and she's not aware of the full extent of the pain her actions have caused me yet. A lot of the days I see her I start telling her I need to move on but it usually ends in her crying, getting super emotional and begging me to not give up so soon and to give it time and I always feel so bad because even after everything she's done to me I care about her and hate seeing her like that and tell her I'll keep trying. I just feel so lost though. I care about this girl and she's been my best friend for the past 4 years and I hate the idea of letting that go but I just feel like as long as I'm still with her and still have feelings for her I'll never be able to move on and the pain will never go away. So I just wanted to ask is it too early on for me to be thinking this way? Have any of you felt the same way while trying to reconcile with a partner who betrayed you? I just don't know if I should stick around and continue trying or just cut all contact, take the space I need and begin the healing and moving on process without her.​TL;DR: Trying to work through things with my girlfriend of 4 years who cheated on me because I'm having trouble letting go but I feel like I'll never be able to get over what happened unless I move on.
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