Friend is lying to us

This is all happening between two of my(23) very close friends; Amy(20f) and Jon (26m) and aquaitence Sam (24m).

My other friend and I were really trying not to get involved but it's kind of aggravating. Last night I was texting Amy and I told her that she just needs to talk to John about what's going on and just clear things up. She agreed with me. And then she canceled on seeing him again. He called me and he was very upset and I didn't know what to tell him because I don't know what else I can do.

Basically what happened is Amy and John got very close as friends and they ended up sleeping together and at one point they both confessed their love for each other. Amy was never really sure what John wanted from her but would get visibly upset if she heard he'd hung out platonically with a girl or anytime he treated her as a friend, "is that all this is to him?".Okay. anytime John has tried to define the relationship she has always stepped back and given us all the impression that she wants to remain free of that kind of commitment , but acts jealous if John demonstrates the same thing. This entire time she has been hanging out with another friend, Sam, and recently slept with him. John found out and was feeling a bit frustrated about it and confused. He and Amy had never said they were dating or put any rules on their relationship but it easily hurt his feelings still. He said that when he confronted her she lied to him about it having happened, and that's what really upsets him the most. Apparently she had even told him that she didn't like Sam that much. She had also told me that she wanted to sleep with him, but didnt see herself actually being with him (Sam), while her and John are basically best friends & that she cares about him a lot. After she did sleep with him, though, she sent me a long text detailing how great it was & that she had real feelings for him the whole time that were finally realized. This, in contrast with the fact that when she's with john she's actually said that she thinks Sam's an asshole & that shes not attracted to him. Two different stories. I didnt know this until john told us--we mostly always hang out seperatly. And sam has never hung out with us all, only with Amy recently.

When we spend time together she always manages to bring this stuff up and to me that means there's something that needs to be worked out. But when the moment comes she acts like nothings wrong. When i said she should talk to john, she asked about what, as if she hadnt been talking about all this stuff to me. She used to joke about "breaking hearts" or saying (after john confessed to her) that she "knew" he'd fall for her. After she slept with John she went to work (they work together) and basically told everyone inadvertently because she "assumed" he did--he didnt. When she slept with Sam she only told me but "somehow" everyone found out.  Amy is one of my best friends and all of this goes against who i thought she was.

One last thing: my other best friend (the one i refered to at the start) is "in love" (she's as much in love with him as you can be with someone who doesbt know how deep the feelings go) with sam. Amy told her to go after him and a few days later, Amy slept with him. My other friend is being incredibly calm about that but expressed how conflicting it was for both those things to exist. One moment shes encouraging my friend, saying she doesnt have feelings for him to lots of us, and then goes and sleeps with him and tells me that its my friend's fault for not being the "go getting" type like she is.

Tl;dr my friend is basically lying to everyone. She hangs out with us all seperatly and gives us different stories. She's taking advantage of John's emotions and disregarding how all this is making him feel. Instead of letting him go she does things to try and keep him chasing after her. We all have advised her to just talk because we thought it was miscommunication, but her lack of effort looks like she just wants the attention and drama. We were supposed to move in with her but we don't want to anymore if this is what she attracts. We still want to be her friend because it seems like a thing she needs to figure it out, to grow up out of, but how can we do this without her feeling completely dejected? She clearly doesnt know what she wants and is juggling all these different emotions. We know she's a good person and we still care abour her but we cant have this drama in our home.

Submitted September 11, 2019 at 11:24PM

This is all happening between two of my(23) very close friends; Amy(20f) and Jon (26m) and aquaitence Sam (24m).My other friend and I were really trying not to get involved but it's kind of aggravating. Last night I was texting Amy and I told her that she just needs to talk to John about what's going on and just clear things up. She agreed with me. And then she canceled on seeing him again. He called me and he was very upset and I didn't know what to tell him because I don't know what else I can do.Basically what happened is Amy and John got very close as friends and they ended up sleeping together and at one point they both confessed their love for each other. Amy was never really sure what John wanted from her but would get visibly upset if she heard he'd hung out platonically with a girl or anytime he treated her as a friend, "is that all this is to him?".Okay. anytime John has tried to define the relationship she has always stepped back and given us all the impression that she wants to remain free of that kind of commitment , but acts jealous if John demonstrates the same thing. This entire time she has been hanging out with another friend, Sam, and recently slept with him. John found out and was feeling a bit frustrated about it and confused. He and Amy had never said they were dating or put any rules on their relationship but it easily hurt his feelings still. He said that when he confronted her she lied to him about it having happened, and that's what really upsets him the most. Apparently she had even told him that she didn't like Sam that much. She had also told me that she wanted to sleep with him, but didnt see herself actually being with him (Sam), while her and John are basically best friends & that she cares about him a lot. After she did sleep with him, though, she sent me a long text detailing how great it was & that she had real feelings for him the whole time that were finally realized. This, in contrast with the fact that when she's with john she's actually said that she thinks Sam's an asshole & that shes not attracted to him. Two different stories. I didnt know this until john told us--we mostly always hang out seperatly. And sam has never hung out with us all, only with Amy recently.When we spend time together she always manages to bring this stuff up and to me that means there's something that needs to be worked out. But when the moment comes she acts like nothings wrong. When i said she should talk to john, she asked about what, as if she hadnt been talking about all this stuff to me. She used to joke about "breaking hearts" or saying (after john confessed to her) that she "knew" he'd fall for her. After she slept with John she went to work (they work together) and basically told everyone inadvertently because she "assumed" he did--he didnt. When she slept with Sam she only told me but "somehow" everyone found out.  Amy is one of my best friends and all of this goes against who i thought she was.One last thing: my other best friend (the one i refered to at the start) is "in love" (she's as much in love with him as you can be with someone who doesbt know how deep the feelings go) with sam. Amy told her to go after him and a few days later, Amy slept with him. My other friend is being incredibly calm about that but expressed how conflicting it was for both those things to exist. One moment shes encouraging my friend, saying she doesnt have feelings for him to lots of us, and then goes and sleeps with him and tells me that its my friend's fault for not being the "go getting" type like she is.Tl;dr my friend is basically lying to everyone. She hangs out with us all seperatly and gives us different stories. She's taking advantage of John's emotions and disregarding how all this is making him feel. Instead of letting him go she does things to try and keep him chasing after her. We all have advised her to just talk because we thought it was miscommunication, but her lack of effort looks like she just wants the attention and drama. We were supposed to move in with her but we don't want to anymore if this is what she attracts. We still want to be her friend because it seems like a thing she needs to figure it out, to grow up out of, but how can we do this without her feeling completely dejected? She clearly doesnt know what she wants and is juggling all these different emotions. We know she's a good person and we still care abour her but we cant have this drama in our home.