My (27m) FWB (26f) is in a relationship but I still have feelings for her, is it possible to remain friends?

I have a friend who I used to be close with, the friendship turned into a friends with benefits type thing (closest I can describe it). She's now with someone but during that time I developed feelings for her which I've told her about. I'm finding it hard to see her as just a friend. Plus she sometimes still says she loves me. I'm assuming she means as a friend but it's hard to not interpret that the wrong way.

I think I should give her some space, so I can move on and so I don't interfere with her and her boyfriend. At the same time I still want her in my life. I've loved spending time with her, we've always had fun and if nothing else I'd like to go back to being friends. I'm just not sure the best way to go about it. Right now I need to stop thinking of her as more than a friend. I don't want to ruin the friendship by cutting her out completely and plus I don't want to cut her out completely.

Part of me thinks going no contact would be best for everyone but the rest of me is trying to find another way. I have tried to be just friends with her but really I'm lying to myself. If this was a break up I'd go no contact but it kind of isn't and I don't want to lose the friendship part. I don't really know what I'm asking here to be honest, I guess just want some guidance.

TL;DR: FWB is in relationship. I have feelings for her & don't want to lose her as a friend but not sure how to go back to being just friends.



Submitted September 11, 2019 at 11:19PM

I have a friend who I used to be close with, the friendship turned into a friends with benefits type thing (closest I can describe it). She's now with someone but during that time I developed feelings for her which I've told her about. I'm finding it hard to see her as just a friend. Plus she sometimes still says she loves me. I'm assuming she means as a friend but it's hard to not interpret that the wrong way.I think I should give her some space, so I can move on and so I don't interfere with her and her boyfriend. At the same time I still want her in my life. I've loved spending time with her, we've always had fun and if nothing else I'd like to go back to being friends. I'm just not sure the best way to go about it. Right now I need to stop thinking of her as more than a friend. I don't want to ruin the friendship by cutting her out completely and plus I don't want to cut her out completely.Part of me thinks going no contact would be best for everyone but the rest of me is trying to find another way. I have tried to be just friends with her but really I'm lying to myself. If this was a break up I'd go no contact but it kind of isn't and I don't want to lose the friendship part. I don't really know what I'm asking here to be honest, I guess just want some guidance.TL;DR: FWB is in relationship. I have feelings for her & don't want to lose her as a friend but not sure how to go back to being just friends.
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