My mother (F55) is refusing to come to my (F33) baby shower because of an argument

My mother posted a meme on FB calling the political party I typically vote for (which she knows) Nazis, pro eugenics and so on. I've asked her before to block me from seeing this type of thing or better yet, consider the fact I'm part of the party and even reconsider her opinions in general. I'm a social worker and a lot of the institutions she demonizes are the very things I rely on to help the people I support, it feels as if though she's got no respect for my moral outlook in life, or profession, or simply my role as her daughter.

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She said I should only feel offended if I identified as a Nazi or the other things, and that I was 'choosing to get triggered' . Between the meme, and then her utter lack of care for my feelings in general I got annoyed and basically told her I didn't think Facebook was a good place for us to be connected any longer.

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She continued to say how I was choosing to be angry and triggered and just a bunch of rude crap and that there was nothing wrong with the meme since it was 'true'.

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She then blocked me from her phone ending with "Im happy in my life and not miserable and I will not let someone bring me down like my miserable ex husband". She compares us kids to her ex every single time we bicker.

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I'm 30 weeks pregnant, driving home 3 hours for a small baby shower and just am so sick of having to never show her any type of emotion or it's a huge ordeal that she never ever accepts any responsibility for.

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Question: Should I care that she doesn't care about how things can be offensive to me, such as this political meme? Should I just overlook things when they are offensive for the sake of us not fighting (like I do the vast majority of the time) even when she blatantly ignores my emotions? Is it my responsibility to apologize since I was the one who was originally offended?

TL;DR- Mother posted a hateful/offensive meme despite being aware daughter would likely find it so. Daughter expressed feelings, Mother accused daughter of liking fighting like ex-husband and has blocked daughter. Mother will not be attending baby shower due to argument unless daughter is willing to put in the effort to 'fix' it.



Submitted September 12, 2019 at 12:08AM

My mother posted a meme on FB calling the political party I typically vote for (which she knows) Nazis, pro eugenics and so on. I've asked her before to block me from seeing this type of thing or better yet, consider the fact I'm part of the party and even reconsider her opinions in general. I'm a social worker and a lot of the institutions she demonizes are the very things I rely on to help the people I support, it feels as if though she's got no respect for my moral outlook in life, or profession, or simply my role as her daughter.​She said I should only feel offended if I identified as a Nazi or the other things, and that I was 'choosing to get triggered' . Between the meme, and then her utter lack of care for my feelings in general I got annoyed and basically told her I didn't think Facebook was a good place for us to be connected any longer.​She continued to say how I was choosing to be angry and triggered and just a bunch of rude crap and that there was nothing wrong with the meme since it was 'true'.​She then blocked me from her phone ending with "Im happy in my life and not miserable and I will not let someone bring me down like my miserable ex husband". She compares us kids to her ex every single time we bicker.​I'm 30 weeks pregnant, driving home 3 hours for a small baby shower and just am so sick of having to never show her any type of emotion or it's a huge ordeal that she never ever accepts any responsibility for.​Question: Should I care that she doesn't care about how things can be offensive to me, such as this political meme? Should I just overlook things when they are offensive for the sake of us not fighting (like I do the vast majority of the time) even when she blatantly ignores my emotions? Is it my responsibility to apologize since I was the one who was originally offended?TL;DR- Mother posted a hateful/offensive meme despite being aware daughter would likely find it so. Daughter expressed feelings, Mother accused daughter of liking fighting like ex-husband and has blocked daughter. Mother will not be attending baby shower due to argument unless daughter is willing to put in the effort to 'fix' it.
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