My parents [60F/58M] admitted to not loving me [24F] as much as my siblings.

This happened today, and I've been trying to figure out how I feel so that I can see how to process this in a productive way.

My sister called me this afternoon and said in a calm voice that I should know that my parents have admitted to not loving me as much as her and my other sister. For background information, my parents are extremely religious, somewhat conservative, and recently divorced for almost a year and a half. My relationships with them have always been strained due to my mental health issues that I've struggled with in the past. I was a troubled pre-teen, and I with depression, PTSD, and disordered eating. My family was very good about keeping up appearances when I was dealing with that. Both of them were emotionally abusive to me all of my siblings. I was pushed to me this image of a ‘good Christian’. I can still hear my mother’s voice in my head criticizing me for anything and everything. I’ve always been the ‘different’ one due to my beliefs and how I’ve wanted to find my own place within the world. There were more good days than bad in my opinion, but I have realized the toxicity of household. I still desired relationships with both of them when I moved out of their house.

I think I have a need to feel like I’ve finally gotten to a place where they’ll accept me.

Years later, it seems like my parents have gotten much gentler with me. They’re kinder and more reasonable. I talk to each of them once or twice a week, where they tell me what’s gone on with their lives and the occasional sidebar of one of them asking when I’ll get married.

They have been very supportive of my siblings (one of which has just gotten married and the other has started her own business).

I was under the assumption that they would only get better as I’ve gotten older. Especially as I have a job in a field I love and am established.

But all of that came crashing down around me when my sister said that to me. She said they don’t really care about how I’m doing because they never think to ask. And are convinced that I have ‘become my problems’, (meaning that I’m still actively working on my mental health). I didn’t realize it was such a sensitive spot for me until I collapsed on my floor crying a few hours ago. I feel like I’ve been reduced to what I can have to show for my life instead of me as a person, and I think that’s what hurt me the most.

I’ve always had an assumption that it was true.

But I feel so betrayed. Family is something that I’ve so desperately clung to my whole life.

And I feel like I don’t have anything else.

I know that being fairly socially isolated isn’t helping my condition at the moment, but I think I just need to know if I’m being dramatic or not.

TLDR: My parents have admitted that they don’t love me like they love my siblings and I don’t know how to move forward with my relationships with both of them.

Suggestions are appreciated.

Submitted August 04, 2019 at 11:49PM

This happened today, and I've been trying to figure out how I feel so that I can see how to process this in a productive way.My sister called me this afternoon and said in a calm voice that I should know that my parents have admitted to not loving me as much as her and my other sister. For background information, my parents are extremely religious, somewhat conservative, and recently divorced for almost a year and a half. My relationships with them have always been strained due to my mental health issues that I've struggled with in the past. I was a troubled pre-teen, and I with depression, PTSD, and disordered eating. My family was very good about keeping up appearances when I was dealing with that. Both of them were emotionally abusive to me all of my siblings. I was pushed to me this image of a ‘good Christian’. I can still hear my mother’s voice in my head criticizing me for anything and everything. I’ve always been the ‘different’ one due to my beliefs and how I’ve wanted to find my own place within the world. There were more good days than bad in my opinion, but I have realized the toxicity of household. I still desired relationships with both of them when I moved out of their house.I think I have a need to feel like I’ve finally gotten to a place where they’ll accept me.Years later, it seems like my parents have gotten much gentler with me. They’re kinder and more reasonable. I talk to each of them once or twice a week, where they tell me what’s gone on with their lives and the occasional sidebar of one of them asking when I’ll get married.They have been very supportive of my siblings (one of which has just gotten married and the other has started her own business).I was under the assumption that they would only get better as I’ve gotten older. Especially as I have a job in a field I love and am established.But all of that came crashing down around me when my sister said that to me. She said they don’t really care about how I’m doing because they never think to ask. And are convinced that I have ‘become my problems’, (meaning that I’m still actively working on my mental health). I didn’t realize it was such a sensitive spot for me until I collapsed on my floor crying a few hours ago. I feel like I’ve been reduced to what I can have to show for my life instead of me as a person, and I think that’s what hurt me the most.I’ve always had an assumption that it was true.But I feel so betrayed. Family is something that I’ve so desperately clung to my whole life.And I feel like I don’t have anything else.I know that being fairly socially isolated isn’t helping my condition at the moment, but I think I just need to know if I’m being dramatic or not.TLDR: My parents have admitted that they don’t love me like they love my siblings and I don’t know how to move forward with my relationships with both of them.Suggestions are appreciated.