I [24 F] do not want to go camping with my ex's [26 M] family [50s+] with my toddler. [1 F]

We planned this before my ex and I seperated.

However, I then discovered he had a second cell phone, he was on snap chat after agreeing in couples counselling to not use it plus it said he was active on dating sites. I broke up with him. He left for his deployment with the navy, so now he's busy in Spain getting drunk and doing whatever. We're not in contact unless it's regarding our child.

It's been a month now. His mother messaged me saying she still expects me to go on this camping trip, and I don't want to anymore. Not only has his mother told everyone that we're separating, but she peddled his narrative that I'm controlling and crazy and he denied all of his sketchy behaviours such as sleeping around, calling his ex in the middle of the night, etc. I found out all of this from his aunt who was begging me to "Stop trying to control ex" and that "it's so sad he had to lie to you to go be friends with other women". After that, I stopped seeing them as allies and supportive family members, but rather people to only be civil with and kept at an arm's length because they are still my daughter's family. According to them, I'm crazy and broke her son's heart who could possibly do no wrong. He isn't even heartbroken, he's already seeing someone else and it further leads me to believe he was seeing her all along. Who knows, I stopped trying to understand him.

So this camping trip is coming up, and they messaged me saying they hope to see me there. Truthfully, I can't think of anything worse than chasing a toddler around a campground while still trying to maintain my composure since my family and home life just got nuked.

I'm scared that this will already make a tense situation tenser. I do not want my ex-MIL to get on my back further, and if absolute need be I will shut her down and tell her just because her son isn't around to tell her to fuck off doesn't mean she can do/say whatever she wants. (One good quality about him, was that when she was trying to bully/steamroll me or be a passive aggressive jerk her son would tell her to stop and she would.)

However, I'm still trying to settle custody/divorce proceedings so I don't want any drama either.

But the thought of going on this camping trip while trying to not cry to the point I scream, being around his senile grandmother who will constantly ask me how heartbroken am I that we broke up, and his passive-aggressive mother and enabling aunt all while trying to entertain a strong-willed toddler sounds like hell.

I don't know what to do. I feel lost. I just want to exist without people making my life harder than it already is.

TLDR. Passive-aggressive ex-MIL expects me to still go to family camping trip with a toddler around people who obviously dislike me, despite I'm separating, depressed and soon to be divorcing her son.

Submitted August 04, 2019 at 11:56PM

We planned this before my ex and I seperated.However, I then discovered he had a second cell phone, he was on snap chat after agreeing in couples counselling to not use it plus it said he was active on dating sites. I broke up with him. He left for his deployment with the navy, so now he's busy in Spain getting drunk and doing whatever. We're not in contact unless it's regarding our child.It's been a month now. His mother messaged me saying she still expects me to go on this camping trip, and I don't want to anymore. Not only has his mother told everyone that we're separating, but she peddled his narrative that I'm controlling and crazy and he denied all of his sketchy behaviours such as sleeping around, calling his ex in the middle of the night, etc. I found out all of this from his aunt who was begging me to "Stop trying to control ex" and that "it's so sad he had to lie to you to go be friends with other women". After that, I stopped seeing them as allies and supportive family members, but rather people to only be civil with and kept at an arm's length because they are still my daughter's family. According to them, I'm crazy and broke her son's heart who could possibly do no wrong. He isn't even heartbroken, he's already seeing someone else and it further leads me to believe he was seeing her all along. Who knows, I stopped trying to understand him.So this camping trip is coming up, and they messaged me saying they hope to see me there. Truthfully, I can't think of anything worse than chasing a toddler around a campground while still trying to maintain my composure since my family and home life just got nuked.I'm scared that this will already make a tense situation tenser. I do not want my ex-MIL to get on my back further, and if absolute need be I will shut her down and tell her just because her son isn't around to tell her to fuck off doesn't mean she can do/say whatever she wants. (One good quality about him, was that when she was trying to bully/steamroll me or be a passive aggressive jerk her son would tell her to stop and she would.)However, I'm still trying to settle custody/divorce proceedings so I don't want any drama either.But the thought of going on this camping trip while trying to not cry to the point I scream, being around his senile grandmother who will constantly ask me how heartbroken am I that we broke up, and his passive-aggressive mother and enabling aunt all while trying to entertain a strong-willed toddler sounds like hell.I don't know what to do. I feel lost. I just want to exist without people making my life harder than it already is.TLDR. Passive-aggressive ex-MIL expects me to still go to family camping trip with a toddler around people who obviously dislike me, despite I'm separating, depressed and soon to be divorcing her son.