I [27/M] am scared my friend [23/M] is rushing into marriage. What's the best way to support him without supporting his marriage?

TL;DR: Don't approve of friend marriage, I don't want to go to his wedding. How do I tell him? I don't want to lie and make up some shit about how I'm busy on the date.

edit: He's 24 not 23 sorry*****

I've been playing video games with my friend group for the last 2, going on 3 years. Despite knowing each-other for a short time, we became fast friends (turned out randomly we're all obsessed with Runescape). Group has A [24/M], B[27/M], C[25/M], D[20/M], E[24/M](E is the one getting married).

Quick summary of relationships because I think its important to context of their inputs. A and B are brothers who have known C and D since school. E has known them since school as well, and he was in the same grade/class as A.

A: Doesn't think E should get married because he doesn't like his wife. He has known her since high school and still judges her by the decisions shes made in the past. I don't like this, however some of the mistakes in the past have involved infidelity and multiple partners.

B: Thinks F should get married, they're best friends.

C: Thinks they should get married but has heard myself and A talk about the reservations we have about (at the time, just their relationship).

D: Youngest of the group, going through some weird woman things right now. He is supportive but doesn't really have a stake in the conversation.

ME: I really don't like marriages so I am biased off the bat. The fact that I tend to agree more with A's line of thinking when it comes to his relationship. I don't think someone should get married to their first girlfriend. I don't think someone should get married so young with no stable job yet or place to live. I know that it doesn't really matter what I think, a good friend should be supportive no matter what. I feel like a shit friend for even asking reddit how to go about this. However I just very very strongly dislike this woman. I don't like her based on the few interactions I have and the stories A has told me which I independently confirmed with B&C.

All of this leads to me not wanting to go to the wedding. I am sure it will be beautiful and fun, to me it is the celebration of the union. I feel disingenuous showing up and partying when I don't approve in my heart. I don't want him to take it personally but I don't think there is a way for him to not take it that way? I'm hoping you guys can help me out phrase my emotions or if anyone has been in a similar situation in the past, any advice you have. It's only been a few years and I want there to be many more, I love these guys.



Submitted August 04, 2019 at 11:47PM

TL;DR: Don't approve of friend marriage, I don't want to go to his wedding. How do I tell him? I don't want to lie and make up some shit about how I'm busy on the date.edit: He's 24 not 23 sorry*****I've been playing video games with my friend group for the last 2, going on 3 years. Despite knowing each-other for a short time, we became fast friends (turned out randomly we're all obsessed with Runescape). Group has A [24/M], B[27/M], C[25/M], D[20/M], E[24/M](E is the one getting married).Quick summary of relationships because I think its important to context of their inputs. A and B are brothers who have known C and D since school. E has known them since school as well, and he was in the same grade/class as A.A: Doesn't think E should get married because he doesn't like his wife. He has known her since high school and still judges her by the decisions shes made in the past. I don't like this, however some of the mistakes in the past have involved infidelity and multiple partners.B: Thinks F should get married, they're best friends.C: Thinks they should get married but has heard myself and A talk about the reservations we have about (at the time, just their relationship).D: Youngest of the group, going through some weird woman things right now. He is supportive but doesn't really have a stake in the conversation.ME: I really don't like marriages so I am biased off the bat. The fact that I tend to agree more with A's line of thinking when it comes to his relationship. I don't think someone should get married to their first girlfriend. I don't think someone should get married so young with no stable job yet or place to live. I know that it doesn't really matter what I think, a good friend should be supportive no matter what. I feel like a shit friend for even asking reddit how to go about this. However I just very very strongly dislike this woman. I don't like her based on the few interactions I have and the stories A has told me which I independently confirmed with B&C.All of this leads to me not wanting to go to the wedding. I am sure it will be beautiful and fun, to me it is the celebration of the union. I feel disingenuous showing up and partying when I don't approve in my heart. I don't want him to take it personally but I don't think there is a way for him to not take it that way? I'm hoping you guys can help me out phrase my emotions or if anyone has been in a similar situation in the past, any advice you have. It's only been a few years and I want there to be many more, I love these guys.
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