Are My [16F] Parents [50F & 49M] Toxic?

It's better if I jump right in, so I'll start from the beginning. I'm also sorry if the formatting isn't good, I'm posting on mobile.

Growing up, I would witness my father call my mother demeaning names (Stupid, A Dumbss, Btch, C*nt, Etc.). He would also throw objects and even was physically violent with my mother at points. This made me extremely fearful of my father, so I would always do my best to please him. One day my mother decided to move out and try to leave. She took me and my older brother with her (though my dad likes to say she "left us all") and we stayed in an apartment. He hired a private investigator to track us down and eventually found us. At this point, we moved back with my dad and he took it upon himself to begin doing drugs. As a result of this, I didn't see much of him until middle school, which is the time period he quit.

My father always placed immense pressure on me to succeed. It always bothered me that he took enjoyment out of bragging about my accomplishments, even when he had nothing to do with them. He also always wanted me to do more. To Do another sport, to get my grades even higher, to get into an Ivy-League with a full-ride. I was very overwhelmed and always did my best, but it seemed that nothing was enough. He would often call me "Stupid" or a "B*tch." Names he used on my mother. Everything I said was considered me "talking back." I was never taken seriously and was told that I could never understand anything outside of myself. My mother took to alcohol to avoid my father's outbursts. To this day, there is not a night that goes by where she doesn't drink.

Eventually the pressure built-up and I had a breakdown in my freshman year of high school. I was extremely depressed and desperately wanted help. I ended up in the hospital and was told I had Depression. My father told me to "Get over it and stop being so dramatic." I called my mother for support and told her that I needed her. I needed someone. I told her that I honestly wanted to die. She told me that I was bothering her. That I was ruining her vacation with her sister. My mother has always been a bit emotionally distant, always prioritizing work and other people instead of me. It never hurt so bad until this day. I thankfully had my best friend to lean on in that time, and my mental health is much better.

I never looked at my parents the same after that. I'm currently going into my Junior Year of High School and my parents can't tell enough people how "proud they are" of me. How I'm Valedictorian and destined for greatness. However, at the same time, I'm continually told that I'm not good enough. That I'm too sensitive. That I'm heartless and think of no one but myself. I am always interrogated and accused of using drugs and alcohol (never have, never will). That even when I speak facts, I'm wrong.

There have been times where I try talking to my parents about things. Tried to work something out. Set boundaries. But I'm told that I'm too emotional or that such past events never happened.

I resent my parents, but they also provide for me. They also give me birthday presents. They let me get a cat. They praise my academic success. I'm just so emotionally confused.

Am I being too emotional? Am I being overdramatic for considering cutting them off when I go to University?

TL;DR: My parents have shown aggression/been demeaning and have been consistently defensive towards me throughout my life. Am I Just overreacting?

Submitted August 05, 2019 at 12:07AM

It's better if I jump right in, so I'll start from the beginning. I'm also sorry if the formatting isn't good, I'm posting on mobile.Growing up, I would witness my father call my mother demeaning names (Stupid, A Dumbss, Btch, C*nt, Etc.). He would also throw objects and even was physically violent with my mother at points. This made me extremely fearful of my father, so I would always do my best to please him. One day my mother decided to move out and try to leave. She took me and my older brother with her (though my dad likes to say she "left us all") and we stayed in an apartment. He hired a private investigator to track us down and eventually found us. At this point, we moved back with my dad and he took it upon himself to begin doing drugs. As a result of this, I didn't see much of him until middle school, which is the time period he quit.My father always placed immense pressure on me to succeed. It always bothered me that he took enjoyment out of bragging about my accomplishments, even when he had nothing to do with them. He also always wanted me to do more. To Do another sport, to get my grades even higher, to get into an Ivy-League with a full-ride. I was very overwhelmed and always did my best, but it seemed that nothing was enough. He would often call me "Stupid" or a "B*tch." Names he used on my mother. Everything I said was considered me "talking back." I was never taken seriously and was told that I could never understand anything outside of myself. My mother took to alcohol to avoid my father's outbursts. To this day, there is not a night that goes by where she doesn't drink.Eventually the pressure built-up and I had a breakdown in my freshman year of high school. I was extremely depressed and desperately wanted help. I ended up in the hospital and was told I had Depression. My father told me to "Get over it and stop being so dramatic." I called my mother for support and told her that I needed her. I needed someone. I told her that I honestly wanted to die. She told me that I was bothering her. That I was ruining her vacation with her sister. My mother has always been a bit emotionally distant, always prioritizing work and other people instead of me. It never hurt so bad until this day. I thankfully had my best friend to lean on in that time, and my mental health is much better.I never looked at my parents the same after that. I'm currently going into my Junior Year of High School and my parents can't tell enough people how "proud they are" of me. How I'm Valedictorian and destined for greatness. However, at the same time, I'm continually told that I'm not good enough. That I'm too sensitive. That I'm heartless and think of no one but myself. I am always interrogated and accused of using drugs and alcohol (never have, never will). That even when I speak facts, I'm wrong.There have been times where I try talking to my parents about things. Tried to work something out. Set boundaries. But I'm told that I'm too emotional or that such past events never happened.I resent my parents, but they also provide for me. They also give me birthday presents. They let me get a cat. They praise my academic success. I'm just so emotionally confused.Am I being too emotional? Am I being overdramatic for considering cutting them off when I go to University?TL;DR: My parents have shown aggression/been demeaning and have been consistently defensive towards me throughout my life. Am I Just overreacting?