Is this relationship even real?

Tl:dr at the bottom. Sorry for the long text.

I would love some advice and dont know where else to turn to.

My boyfriend and I (both 32, and I am female) have been together for almost a year now. We live together as well, and I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage and he has a son from a previous marriage as well.

When we met, he was getting out of his very unhealthy, tumultuous marriage. I had been divorced for 5 years at that point. We started off kind of rocky trying to get used to each others issues, his being learning how to be in an actual healthy relationship. He was emotionally abused by her and was cheated on openly, among other things, and my previous marriage was destroyed by infidelity. I think we recognized that the other was broken and we felt safe together, which may be what drew us together at first (hence the rocky start).

Over this year, we have grown alot, learning each other's needs, blending our parenting styles, becoming a family. It's been great in the general sense.

I own a home, and he and his son moved here with us. This is a home I bought by myself 2 years ago (woo!!). Thr past few months, I've been getting the feeling that possibly this relationship was one for the sake of convenience for him. I think at first he was all for talking with me, getting to know me, put in effort with our relationship. Lately, I haven't been feeling that way. We recently got in an argument and he told me he couldnt do us anymore because it was easier just to handle one kid then all 3 of our together (this stung hard because my girls love the crap out of him and hes fantastic with him). He later told me how sorry he was and that he didnt mean it.

Within the past month or so, he stopped caring about making sure he picked up after himself, stopped caring/noticing dirty dishes in the sink, etc. I have to ask him to do something, or it wont get done. He knows how much him cleaning or picking up a room every now and then means to me, bc it is one of my stress factors with me working long hours and 3 kids in the house. His one job at home that is his alone is to mow the grass, but even that doesnt get done until it's a flipping jungle and I have to ask him. I almost feel like he doesnt really care too much about what I think, or what would be a nice gesture for me.

This past weekend, I went out of town to my best friends house 4 hours away, and my girls were at their dads. Him and I have had maybe a couple of weekends away from each other, but not very many. While I was gone, i missed him alot. He barely text me or called me (which is unusual for him). When I arrived back home, he gave me his standard kiss and hug that I get after work every day. He then proceeded to lay down on the couch and go to sleep while I cooked dinner. Nothing had been cleaned. Its not really messier than when I left it, but literally nothing has been done. I didnt really care because I was very excited to see him, but I just didnt get that vibe from him. There are many other small things like this that make him seem unthoughtful. Not mean, or ugly, just.....unthoughtful.

I.need to add in that he doesnt always make me feel bad. He says sweet things to me and we cuddle every night for sleep. It's just lately I feel like these are just his routine motions. He had stopped trying to get to understand each other. I'm not a big talker when I'm upset, and he used to be able to cue in when I was upset about something, but lately he just pretends like everything is fine even if something is bothering me. I feel like he may be growing apart from me emotionally, but putting on a facade by pretending like nothing is wrong.

My question is, am I right in feeling this way? Or am I way over analyzing this whole thing? I feel like maybe I was convenient for him....patient with him healing, I had a decent house to live in, I have a good stable career, and I'm not a crazy psycho path like his ex. He moved in pretty quickly with him convincing me, bc he lived with his dad and his dad was about to move out of state, leaving him with nowhere to live. Like I said previously, I'm not good at talking about my feelings with other people, so I figured I would get advice from you guys. Help me know if I'm being ridiculous in feeling this way!!!

Also to add, I have shared this feeling with him before, but he gives me the same ol sweet and goofy voiced "girl please, you know I love you baby. Yeah!" Ugh.

tl:dr serious relationship may not be real, need to know if I'm over-analytical

Submitted August 05, 2019 at 12:05AM

Tl:dr at the bottom. Sorry for the long text.I would love some advice and dont know where else to turn to.My boyfriend and I (both 32, and I am female) have been together for almost a year now. We live together as well, and I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage and he has a son from a previous marriage as well.When we met, he was getting out of his very unhealthy, tumultuous marriage. I had been divorced for 5 years at that point. We started off kind of rocky trying to get used to each others issues, his being learning how to be in an actual healthy relationship. He was emotionally abused by her and was cheated on openly, among other things, and my previous marriage was destroyed by infidelity. I think we recognized that the other was broken and we felt safe together, which may be what drew us together at first (hence the rocky start).Over this year, we have grown alot, learning each other's needs, blending our parenting styles, becoming a family. It's been great in the general sense.I own a home, and he and his son moved here with us. This is a home I bought by myself 2 years ago (woo!!). Thr past few months, I've been getting the feeling that possibly this relationship was one for the sake of convenience for him. I think at first he was all for talking with me, getting to know me, put in effort with our relationship. Lately, I haven't been feeling that way. We recently got in an argument and he told me he couldnt do us anymore because it was easier just to handle one kid then all 3 of our together (this stung hard because my girls love the crap out of him and hes fantastic with him). He later told me how sorry he was and that he didnt mean it.Within the past month or so, he stopped caring about making sure he picked up after himself, stopped caring/noticing dirty dishes in the sink, etc. I have to ask him to do something, or it wont get done. He knows how much him cleaning or picking up a room every now and then means to me, bc it is one of my stress factors with me working long hours and 3 kids in the house. His one job at home that is his alone is to mow the grass, but even that doesnt get done until it's a flipping jungle and I have to ask him. I almost feel like he doesnt really care too much about what I think, or what would be a nice gesture for me.This past weekend, I went out of town to my best friends house 4 hours away, and my girls were at their dads. Him and I have had maybe a couple of weekends away from each other, but not very many. While I was gone, i missed him alot. He barely text me or called me (which is unusual for him). When I arrived back home, he gave me his standard kiss and hug that I get after work every day. He then proceeded to lay down on the couch and go to sleep while I cooked dinner. Nothing had been cleaned. Its not really messier than when I left it, but literally nothing has been done. I didnt really care because I was very excited to see him, but I just didnt get that vibe from him. There are many other small things like this that make him seem unthoughtful. Not mean, or ugly, just.....unthoughtful.I.need to add in that he doesnt always make me feel bad. He says sweet things to me and we cuddle every night for sleep. It's just lately I feel like these are just his routine motions. He had stopped trying to get to understand each other. I'm not a big talker when I'm upset, and he used to be able to cue in when I was upset about something, but lately he just pretends like everything is fine even if something is bothering me. I feel like he may be growing apart from me emotionally, but putting on a facade by pretending like nothing is wrong.My question is, am I right in feeling this way? Or am I way over analyzing this whole thing? I feel like maybe I was convenient for him....patient with him healing, I had a decent house to live in, I have a good stable career, and I'm not a crazy psycho path like his ex. He moved in pretty quickly with him convincing me, bc he lived with his dad and his dad was about to move out of state, leaving him with nowhere to live. Like I said previously, I'm not good at talking about my feelings with other people, so I figured I would get advice from you guys. Help me know if I'm being ridiculous in feeling this way!!!Also to add, I have shared this feeling with him before, but he gives me the same ol sweet and goofy voiced "girl please, you know I love you baby. Yeah!" Ugh.tl:dr serious relationship may not be real, need to know if I'm over-analytical