I [22M] broke up with my boyfriend [21M] of two and a half years and I still love him a lot and I miss him but I don't know how to deal with it, I kind of want to see if he wants to get back together.

We've been together since October 2016. Late last year I developed anorexia, and it got kind of bad. In April, I was hospitalized and I was in 24 hour care until late May. On one of my first few days there, I told him that I would call him at 6:30PM so that he would know when to expect my calls and be able to answer them. Over and over, though, he didn't answer the phone. I'd call him at 6:30 and figure that maybe he was distracted at the time, and call him again a little while later, and again a little while later. I think that I was able to get him on the phone three times, and I called him every day. During one of the phone calls, I told him that the hospital allows meals on Skype, so we could potentially share a meal together, and he said no, which really hurt. I was aware that he's uncomfortable with Skype calls, but I felt like he should have been willing to take steps to be more comfortable because we had been together for so long and because I was in the hospital. About three weeks in, I stopped calling. I spent his birthday in the hospital, and I tried to call several times, but his answering machine was full and I couldn't get him on the phone.

In between the time that I stopped calling and the time that I was discharged, I thought about it a lot. Before I was admitted, our interests had started growing apart. When we began the relationship, we could talk for hours about things, and it was great. More recently, he got really into a video game (I've never played a video game in my life and really didn't understand), and that was all that he wanted to talk about. I tried to figure out things that we could both enjoy like, as a hobby together. I tried to figure out books that we could both enjoy and then talk about, but he was never receptive to any of it. I was so hurt that he wouldn't talk to me while I was hospitalized, and I just decided that I was done with the relationship while I was there. When I was discharged, I talked to him but kept him at an arm's length. Soon after, I broke up with him. I didn't really give him a reason, I just told him that I thought that we had grown apart and that I'd like to be friends if he wanted to be, but that I didn't want the relationship anymore.

We didn't talk for a few weeks, and then we started talking again. I spent a lot of time comforting him about the breakup. I asked him if he wanted more insight into why I broke up with him, and he said no. We still talk a lot, and I enjoy our conversations, although every once in a while, I'll try to talk about issues that I'm having (I'm still in intensive care for the eating disorder, and I still struggle with it a lot), and he changes the subject back to the video game that I don't understand. I've watched a lot of thing with him about it and read big chunks of the wiki, but I just don't understand it.

I have a lot of... Baggage? And he was always so accepting of all of that. I feel like if I don't get back together with him, there won't ever be someone else that understands me as well as he did. He never judged me, and I guess I'm sort of a strange person, because a lot of people I just tend to annoy. I was driving home from my program thinking that I wanted to do something, but that anyone who I asked to do it with me would think I was a loser for it, and somewhere inside me reminded me that my ex wouldn't think that. I still love him a lot and I'm also still hurt, and it's unresolved because we never really talked about it. I don't know whether or not to just apologize and try to get back together with him, or to not try and just stay friends.

TL;DR: I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he barely talked to me while I was hospitalized for almost two months, but I still love him and I think he still has feelings for me, so I sort of want to get back together with him. Should I try?

Submitted August 05, 2019 at 12:05AM

We've been together since October 2016. Late last year I developed anorexia, and it got kind of bad. In April, I was hospitalized and I was in 24 hour care until late May. On one of my first few days there, I told him that I would call him at 6:30PM so that he would know when to expect my calls and be able to answer them. Over and over, though, he didn't answer the phone. I'd call him at 6:30 and figure that maybe he was distracted at the time, and call him again a little while later, and again a little while later. I think that I was able to get him on the phone three times, and I called him every day. During one of the phone calls, I told him that the hospital allows meals on Skype, so we could potentially share a meal together, and he said no, which really hurt. I was aware that he's uncomfortable with Skype calls, but I felt like he should have been willing to take steps to be more comfortable because we had been together for so long and because I was in the hospital. About three weeks in, I stopped calling. I spent his birthday in the hospital, and I tried to call several times, but his answering machine was full and I couldn't get him on the phone.In between the time that I stopped calling and the time that I was discharged, I thought about it a lot. Before I was admitted, our interests had started growing apart. When we began the relationship, we could talk for hours about things, and it was great. More recently, he got really into a video game (I've never played a video game in my life and really didn't understand), and that was all that he wanted to talk about. I tried to figure out things that we could both enjoy like, as a hobby together. I tried to figure out books that we could both enjoy and then talk about, but he was never receptive to any of it. I was so hurt that he wouldn't talk to me while I was hospitalized, and I just decided that I was done with the relationship while I was there. When I was discharged, I talked to him but kept him at an arm's length. Soon after, I broke up with him. I didn't really give him a reason, I just told him that I thought that we had grown apart and that I'd like to be friends if he wanted to be, but that I didn't want the relationship anymore.We didn't talk for a few weeks, and then we started talking again. I spent a lot of time comforting him about the breakup. I asked him if he wanted more insight into why I broke up with him, and he said no. We still talk a lot, and I enjoy our conversations, although every once in a while, I'll try to talk about issues that I'm having (I'm still in intensive care for the eating disorder, and I still struggle with it a lot), and he changes the subject back to the video game that I don't understand. I've watched a lot of thing with him about it and read big chunks of the wiki, but I just don't understand it.I have a lot of... Baggage? And he was always so accepting of all of that. I feel like if I don't get back together with him, there won't ever be someone else that understands me as well as he did. He never judged me, and I guess I'm sort of a strange person, because a lot of people I just tend to annoy. I was driving home from my program thinking that I wanted to do something, but that anyone who I asked to do it with me would think I was a loser for it, and somewhere inside me reminded me that my ex wouldn't think that. I still love him a lot and I'm also still hurt, and it's unresolved because we never really talked about it. I don't know whether or not to just apologize and try to get back together with him, or to not try and just stay friends.TL;DR: I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he barely talked to me while I was hospitalized for almost two months, but I still love him and I think he still has feelings for me, so I sort of want to get back together with him. Should I try?