My fiance (M22) of 5 years canceled our wedding today and i am devastated. Need help or advice. I am (F22).

Ive been contemplating posting this because I'm already a broken sobbing mess and he also goes on reddit but here goes.

We've been together 5 years, had alot of downs than ups, and went to go couples therapy (it was free at the time) around the middle of year 4. Around that time he took a job to go army and well we couldn't really stand the thought of being apart for 6 years so we had to come to an agreement to get married.

During this he had doubts of marriage and i decided to discuss our expectations and wants and needs (basically pre marital counseling questions) and we pretty much agreed on everything and there wasn't really anything wrong. He finally came around to the idea of marrying me and was super happy about it.

We planned it together (its super small only a dozen people would come) and we got tons of help from my family and his dad. Everything was okay, even the day before the wedding, we saw each other and hung out. The next morning he wanted to talk and i knew that he wanted to cancel by his tone.

The day isn't over, my family is trying to cheer me up but they aren't the best at it, they are kinda forcing me to have fun and forget about him.

I just lost someone i really loved and who apparently loves me back but isn't ready. After basic i don't know if I'll ever see him again and our future plans for me to go college married to him while he does AIT is gone. Our plans to not be separated just fell apart.

His reasons were just him feeling afraid we won't work out because of the distance in the army but he also just felt like he doesn't know what he wants. He says he may come back after basic but it isnt definate and i dont know if I want to put trust in that.

This behavior isn't uncommon from him. He puts off important information or feelings until an inappropriate time. He also always have trouble figuring out what he wants from our relationship. I wasn't surprised this happened today, but i am devastated and hurt.

If there's more i need to elaborate on i can definitely do that...

I do would like advice, or even stories of you guys that this has happened too. What did you do after? Did you keep contact? Did you leave and not look back? Any advice on how to cope and try to move on?

I will be honest i still want that future with him but it seems like he doesn't, and I'm just afraid of the days to come.

TL;DR: My fiance canceled the wedding the day we were getting married but says he still love me. I may never see him again and need help or advice on coping and maybe moving on.



Submitted July 27, 2019 at 11:39PM

Ive been contemplating posting this because I'm already a broken sobbing mess and he also goes on reddit but here goes.We've been together 5 years, had alot of downs than ups, and went to go couples therapy (it was free at the time) around the middle of year 4. Around that time he took a job to go army and well we couldn't really stand the thought of being apart for 6 years so we had to come to an agreement to get married.During this he had doubts of marriage and i decided to discuss our expectations and wants and needs (basically pre marital counseling questions) and we pretty much agreed on everything and there wasn't really anything wrong. He finally came around to the idea of marrying me and was super happy about it.We planned it together (its super small only a dozen people would come) and we got tons of help from my family and his dad. Everything was okay, even the day before the wedding, we saw each other and hung out. The next morning he wanted to talk and i knew that he wanted to cancel by his tone.The day isn't over, my family is trying to cheer me up but they aren't the best at it, they are kinda forcing me to have fun and forget about him.I just lost someone i really loved and who apparently loves me back but isn't ready. After basic i don't know if I'll ever see him again and our future plans for me to go college married to him while he does AIT is gone. Our plans to not be separated just fell apart.His reasons were just him feeling afraid we won't work out because of the distance in the army but he also just felt like he doesn't know what he wants. He says he may come back after basic but it isnt definate and i dont know if I want to put trust in that.This behavior isn't uncommon from him. He puts off important information or feelings until an inappropriate time. He also always have trouble figuring out what he wants from our relationship. I wasn't surprised this happened today, but i am devastated and hurt.If there's more i need to elaborate on i can definitely do that...I do would like advice, or even stories of you guys that this has happened too. What did you do after? Did you keep contact? Did you leave and not look back? Any advice on how to cope and try to move on?I will be honest i still want that future with him but it seems like he doesn't, and I'm just afraid of the days to come.TL;DR: My fiance canceled the wedding the day we were getting married but says he still love me. I may never see him again and need help or advice on coping and maybe moving on.
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