I (30F) Cannot Stop Thinking about My Old Crush (30M) After He Touched My Hands and Arms

My friend and I have know each other for about 3.5 years. I used to have a crush on a friend of mine, but felt rejected for some reason. It was probably clear to him that I liked him. It took me a while to get over this "rejection". He was away from the city pretty often and finally moved to another continent a while ago. We kept in touch and met each other's partner a couple of times.

I thought his girlfriend was lovely, and my boyfriend and he seemed to get along well. When I met his girlfriend for the first time, I had already started dating my boyfriend and didn't feel hurt. I was actually happy that we were still friends after the awkward period.

We don't talk often, but kept in touch even after he moved away. Earlier this month, I happened to be in the his city, so we hung out and caught up. He showed me around and I had a great time. His girlfriend joined us for drinks at a bar, and I enjoyed talking to her as well.

I really don't know what prompted us to stay late, but we ended up staying out until the morning chatting all night. At some point in the morning, probably an hour before we said bye, he started touching my hands and arms. I was caught off guard, and froze for a while until I was able to say we shouldn't be doing this.

He kept complimenting me and said he was enjoying spending time with me. I really didn't know what to say. He even said he liked me before. I love my boyfriend and think he's one of the best things that happened to me in my life. It is true that I used to be infatuated with this friend, but I thought those feelings had been gone.

Now I feel extremely guilty for not saying "no" right away when he started touching me. At the same time, I cannot stop thinking about my friend. I value him as a friend because we have a great emotional connection, but now I feel a bit uncomfortable. I feel like this is just a rant, but I really don't know what to do.

​

TLDR: Met up with an old crush, and he said he liked me and touched my hands and arms. I have a boyfriend. I cannot stop thinking about him and feeling guilty at the same time.



Submitted July 28, 2019 at 12:11AM

My friend and I have know each other for about 3.5 years. I used to have a crush on a friend of mine, but felt rejected for some reason. It was probably clear to him that I liked him. It took me a while to get over this "rejection". He was away from the city pretty often and finally moved to another continent a while ago. We kept in touch and met each other's partner a couple of times.I thought his girlfriend was lovely, and my boyfriend and he seemed to get along well. When I met his girlfriend for the first time, I had already started dating my boyfriend and didn't feel hurt. I was actually happy that we were still friends after the awkward period.We don't talk often, but kept in touch even after he moved away. Earlier this month, I happened to be in the his city, so we hung out and caught up. He showed me around and I had a great time. His girlfriend joined us for drinks at a bar, and I enjoyed talking to her as well.I really don't know what prompted us to stay late, but we ended up staying out until the morning chatting all night. At some point in the morning, probably an hour before we said bye, he started touching my hands and arms. I was caught off guard, and froze for a while until I was able to say we shouldn't be doing this.He kept complimenting me and said he was enjoying spending time with me. I really didn't know what to say. He even said he liked me before. I love my boyfriend and think he's one of the best things that happened to me in my life. It is true that I used to be infatuated with this friend, but I thought those feelings had been gone.Now I feel extremely guilty for not saying "no" right away when he started touching me. At the same time, I cannot stop thinking about my friend. I value him as a friend because we have a great emotional connection, but now I feel a bit uncomfortable. I feel like this is just a rant, but I really don't know what to do.​TLDR: Met up with an old crush, and he said he liked me and touched my hands and arms. I have a boyfriend. I cannot stop thinking about him and feeling guilty at the same time.
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