Am I paranoid and/or crazy for being suspicious of my boyfriend?

Hello everyone! This is my first post on Reddit so I apologize if I'm doing it wrong. Plus my native language is really, really different from English so I tend to do some mistakes here and there, I'm sorry in advance.

Sadly, I need to give the full back story about our relationship. The thing is, I think it's my fault because I turned out the way I am and I want to see if you can see it too or I'm just naive.

We started our relationship two years ago and he was really possessive. We had to be together 24/7 and I wasn't really allowed to go out with friends of mine at the start of the relationship. He had to check my phone every day. I gave it of course, I had nothing to hide. I didn't want his, but when I did out of anger to show him it isn't nice getting doubted most of the time he always handed it to me. I was pretty silent on the matter. I saw that there was no point in trying to talk to him normally because when I did it was turned against me, making me look dumb and crazy. Around 10 months later things changed. He stopped being so possessive, stopped taking me with him almost everywhere and I just felt strange. Living one way for 10 months, having almost always the same routine, you just get used to it. And out of nowhere came this change that made me feel anxious. But I said nothing about it.

Around our second anniversary that was in May, I noticed a lot of stuff. He wasn't asking me to go anywhere with him anymore and his phone slowly became the forbidden fruit. We have pretty similar phones (Note 8 and Note 9) and I sometimes tend to take his instead of mine without realizing. And boy, oh boy when I do that it's like I did something illegal. He is immediately snatching it away and yelling that I did it on purpose. However I do have his FB profile and I recently decided to log in, noticing some chats with his guy friends starting out of nowhere (Old chat logs dissapeared) and one female that sent him a simple "Yes." that made me so confused. I confronted him about it and he said he didn't know how that happened, it may be Messenger's fault. I brushed it off until once he was sitting next to me playing Hearthstone and saw a little notification pop out from Snapchat. I asked him since when he had it and who sends him snaps and the answer was of course nothing to worry about - Around 3 weeks ago and 4 of his Male friends. Right. Brushed that off too, until I wanted to look up the time on his phone and saw all these Snapchat notifications. I just wanted to see who they were from and surprise, surprise! 90% of the senders were female. Shocker. I kept quiet about that too. Recently I downloaded Instagram too and once saw that he liked a really, really slutty photo of some girl and decided to check if there was anything else. I logged into his Instagram account as it was the same as his Facebook one and when I clicked on the "Photos I liked" I really wanted to vomit. So many girls flashing their tits and asses for some likes - and one of these horny like givers was my boyfriend that has blocked every Male friend I've had in my life and let's not talk about the tantrum he gave me about one of the guys from my class messaging me to ask if I have a handkerchief, while of course 70% of my classmates were blocked. I'm planning to try and log into his snapchat too, to see if he has sent messages to any females - if he did I will know my answer. But before all this.. am I insane? Paranoid? Batshit crazy? I feel so bad for doubting him like this but recently I caught him also keeping stuff from me like smoking weed on several occasions and God knows what else. I don't want to be like that, I really don't. I just can't help it.

TL;DR Caught my possessive boyfriend liking hundreds of disgusting slutty pictures, having tons of girls sending him snaps, probably deleting messages on Facebook and keeping a serious secret from me but somehow I still think I'm wrong that I'm doubting him.

What do you people think? What should I do?

Submitted July 27, 2019 at 11:15PM

Hello everyone! This is my first post on Reddit so I apologize if I'm doing it wrong. Plus my native language is really, really different from English so I tend to do some mistakes here and there, I'm sorry in advance.Sadly, I need to give the full back story about our relationship. The thing is, I think it's my fault because I turned out the way I am and I want to see if you can see it too or I'm just naive.We started our relationship two years ago and he was really possessive. We had to be together 24/7 and I wasn't really allowed to go out with friends of mine at the start of the relationship. He had to check my phone every day. I gave it of course, I had nothing to hide. I didn't want his, but when I did out of anger to show him it isn't nice getting doubted most of the time he always handed it to me. I was pretty silent on the matter. I saw that there was no point in trying to talk to him normally because when I did it was turned against me, making me look dumb and crazy. Around 10 months later things changed. He stopped being so possessive, stopped taking me with him almost everywhere and I just felt strange. Living one way for 10 months, having almost always the same routine, you just get used to it. And out of nowhere came this change that made me feel anxious. But I said nothing about it.Around our second anniversary that was in May, I noticed a lot of stuff. He wasn't asking me to go anywhere with him anymore and his phone slowly became the forbidden fruit. We have pretty similar phones (Note 8 and Note 9) and I sometimes tend to take his instead of mine without realizing. And boy, oh boy when I do that it's like I did something illegal. He is immediately snatching it away and yelling that I did it on purpose. However I do have his FB profile and I recently decided to log in, noticing some chats with his guy friends starting out of nowhere (Old chat logs dissapeared) and one female that sent him a simple "Yes." that made me so confused. I confronted him about it and he said he didn't know how that happened, it may be Messenger's fault. I brushed it off until once he was sitting next to me playing Hearthstone and saw a little notification pop out from Snapchat. I asked him since when he had it and who sends him snaps and the answer was of course nothing to worry about - Around 3 weeks ago and 4 of his Male friends. Right. Brushed that off too, until I wanted to look up the time on his phone and saw all these Snapchat notifications. I just wanted to see who they were from and surprise, surprise! 90% of the senders were female. Shocker. I kept quiet about that too. Recently I downloaded Instagram too and once saw that he liked a really, really slutty photo of some girl and decided to check if there was anything else. I logged into his Instagram account as it was the same as his Facebook one and when I clicked on the "Photos I liked" I really wanted to vomit. So many girls flashing their tits and asses for some likes - and one of these horny like givers was my boyfriend that has blocked every Male friend I've had in my life and let's not talk about the tantrum he gave me about one of the guys from my class messaging me to ask if I have a handkerchief, while of course 70% of my classmates were blocked. I'm planning to try and log into his snapchat too, to see if he has sent messages to any females - if he did I will know my answer. But before all this.. am I insane? Paranoid? Batshit crazy? I feel so bad for doubting him like this but recently I caught him also keeping stuff from me like smoking weed on several occasions and God knows what else. I don't want to be like that, I really don't. I just can't help it.TL;DR Caught my possessive boyfriend liking hundreds of disgusting slutty pictures, having tons of girls sending him snaps, probably deleting messages on Facebook and keeping a serious secret from me but somehow I still think I'm wrong that I'm doubting him.What do you people think? What should I do?