My (F28) spouse (M30) over exaggerates when he tells stories

Hi reddit, I'm here because I could use some advice. I think that couples counseling might be best for us in the next few months when I am able to take some time off of work, but in the meantime thought I would seek advice until that happens. This is a bit long so I truly appreciate whoever took the time to read through.

My spouse has a tendency to over exaggerate when he tells stories. We have been married for 4 years so to tell you the truth I'm not sure why I'm only noticing this now. It could be that he never told stories in front of me in the past that I was there for so I never noticed that his stories were over exaggerated. Regardless of why, I do notice it now and it drives me crazy.

I'll describe a few scenarios when he over exaggerated to try to explain why this bothers me. For the sake of this post, let's call me Martha (this is not my real name).

We were living in Hawaii during the false missile alert. We called the police to ask if it was real and the operator told us that they werent sure what was going on but to take cover. My spouse told me to get dressed so we could drive down the street to a sturdier building that could act more as a bomb shelter than our house. Well reddit, in my state of panic, I was in shock and couldnt bring myself to do anything. I tried to get dressed but honestly forgot how. Just sat on the kitchen floor processing and he decided it was too late to make it anywhere.

We were with a group of people who asked us about the alert and what it was like. When he relayed the story, he was like, "I tried to get us to a more safe building, but Martha was SO panicked she forgot how to get dressed and was in a ball on the floor crying!" Ensue laughter. I did learn that in an emergency I have a real deer in headlights reaction, I was NOT in a ball on the floor crying. It was an annoying over exaggeration of what actually happened. I called him out on it and was like, "Ummm no haha that's not what happened," but honestly it made everything awkward in that group scenario and I felt like the bad guy.

In a different group scenario, he talked about hurricane lane and was like, "Martha was SO antsy sitting at home we had to leave the house a few hours in!" Ensue laughter. State of emergency went into effect a few days before so I was actually antsy after a couple of days of being at home and wanted to get out of the house for a few hours long before hurricane winds were expected to arrive. It was a total over exaggeration. In this scenario I called him out privately instead of in front of people and told him I was annoyed, but it ruined the mood between us.

In a third scenario, he over exaggerated about how our dog learned to open the door handle with his mouth and we kept coming home to open doors in our house. He said that day after day we'd come home to this until realizing it was our dog doing this. We actually realized this the second time this happened, not days and days later, because he did it right in front of us.

So reddit, I know that some people tend to over exaggerate when they tell stories for comedic effect or for the audience or what have you. I could move on when he exaggerates about random things (like the dogs), but it especially annoys me when he over exaggerates about something I did. I know it might be petty, but it irritates me to no end. When I call him out in public, I feel like I make the people with us feel awkward. When I call him out privately, I feel like I'm ruining what is otherwise a good time and putting both of us in a bad mood.

In some scenarios I get annoyed, but I say nothing. I look at him interacting with our friends and in my head I'm like, "Awww look at him smiling, awww look at him laughing, awww look how happy he is." I feel like the bad guy raining on everyone's parade. He has sincerely apologized, but it still happens here and there albeit less. Maybe he needs counseling or it's a habit thatll take time to break. I don't exaggerate when I recall an event, I just say what happened, so I dont know. He is not a bad guy, but this has made me not want to attend any group events with our friends. How can I handle it when he over exaggerates a story, more specifically when it has to do with me?

Tl;dr Spouse over exaggerates when he tells stories. This annoys me because I'm there when these things happen and know that he is over exaggerating. I could let go of him over exaggerating random occurrences, as I feel many people do this when they tell stories, but I get especially irritated when he exaggerates what I did or how I reacted. I have called him out in public and private, but felt like the bad guy both times for making the people around us feel awkward and for putting a damper on a good time. How can I handle it when he does this?

Submitted July 27, 2019 at 11:39PM

Hi reddit, I'm here because I could use some advice. I think that couples counseling might be best for us in the next few months when I am able to take some time off of work, but in the meantime thought I would seek advice until that happens. This is a bit long so I truly appreciate whoever took the time to read through.My spouse has a tendency to over exaggerate when he tells stories. We have been married for 4 years so to tell you the truth I'm not sure why I'm only noticing this now. It could be that he never told stories in front of me in the past that I was there for so I never noticed that his stories were over exaggerated. Regardless of why, I do notice it now and it drives me crazy.I'll describe a few scenarios when he over exaggerated to try to explain why this bothers me. For the sake of this post, let's call me Martha (this is not my real name).We were living in Hawaii during the false missile alert. We called the police to ask if it was real and the operator told us that they werent sure what was going on but to take cover. My spouse told me to get dressed so we could drive down the street to a sturdier building that could act more as a bomb shelter than our house. Well reddit, in my state of panic, I was in shock and couldnt bring myself to do anything. I tried to get dressed but honestly forgot how. Just sat on the kitchen floor processing and he decided it was too late to make it anywhere.We were with a group of people who asked us about the alert and what it was like. When he relayed the story, he was like, "I tried to get us to a more safe building, but Martha was SO panicked she forgot how to get dressed and was in a ball on the floor crying!" Ensue laughter. I did learn that in an emergency I have a real deer in headlights reaction, I was NOT in a ball on the floor crying. It was an annoying over exaggeration of what actually happened. I called him out on it and was like, "Ummm no haha that's not what happened," but honestly it made everything awkward in that group scenario and I felt like the bad guy.In a different group scenario, he talked about hurricane lane and was like, "Martha was SO antsy sitting at home we had to leave the house a few hours in!" Ensue laughter. State of emergency went into effect a few days before so I was actually antsy after a couple of days of being at home and wanted to get out of the house for a few hours long before hurricane winds were expected to arrive. It was a total over exaggeration. In this scenario I called him out privately instead of in front of people and told him I was annoyed, but it ruined the mood between us.In a third scenario, he over exaggerated about how our dog learned to open the door handle with his mouth and we kept coming home to open doors in our house. He said that day after day we'd come home to this until realizing it was our dog doing this. We actually realized this the second time this happened, not days and days later, because he did it right in front of us.So reddit, I know that some people tend to over exaggerate when they tell stories for comedic effect or for the audience or what have you. I could move on when he exaggerates about random things (like the dogs), but it especially annoys me when he over exaggerates about something I did. I know it might be petty, but it irritates me to no end. When I call him out in public, I feel like I make the people with us feel awkward. When I call him out privately, I feel like I'm ruining what is otherwise a good time and putting both of us in a bad mood.In some scenarios I get annoyed, but I say nothing. I look at him interacting with our friends and in my head I'm like, "Awww look at him smiling, awww look at him laughing, awww look how happy he is." I feel like the bad guy raining on everyone's parade. He has sincerely apologized, but it still happens here and there albeit less. Maybe he needs counseling or it's a habit thatll take time to break. I don't exaggerate when I recall an event, I just say what happened, so I dont know. He is not a bad guy, but this has made me not want to attend any group events with our friends. How can I handle it when he over exaggerates a story, more specifically when it has to do with me?Tl;dr Spouse over exaggerates when he tells stories. This annoys me because I'm there when these things happen and know that he is over exaggerating. I could let go of him over exaggerating random occurrences, as I feel many people do this when they tell stories, but I get especially irritated when he exaggerates what I did or how I reacted. I have called him out in public and private, but felt like the bad guy both times for making the people around us feel awkward and for putting a damper on a good time. How can I handle it when he does this?